Free! Episode FINAL - Distant Free!

It's over.

Finally, it's really, truly over. This is the last episode. There's no trolling here, this is the actual, honest to god last one of these I'm going to have to watch. Because the show is ending. For good. Forever. Never to see the light of day ever again.

I'm going to have to give this show an evaluation, sure. But y'know what? I'm going to do that on my own time. I won't use it as precious filler to delay the inevitability of needing to consume terribleness and share it with the world, no. It'll be a bonus, for when I finally decide to get around and... wash the taste of this show out of my mouth.

Yeah. I went there. Now shut up and just read how this train wreck of a show finally ends.

Sailor Moon R Episode 10 - Steal Mamoru's Kiss! En's Snow White Strategy

It's that lovely time of night again, where I reflect upon the things I do in life, and ask myself: Why the hell did I ever want to start watching this show again?

I mean, okay sure. Yes, it's a popular show. Yes, I've railed it pretty hard, and I do actually take offense to a great many deal of things that happen in it. I mean this is some pretty sick shit that goes on in this show, and nobody ever really bothered to take a look at that and ask themselves, "is this really the sort of show I want my kid to be watching?"

But no, there's got to be some other reason for it. Perhaps I've been deluding myself. I mean, I can watch something, then go "I hate it" and move on, and be totally justified by it. So why do I actually have to sit through every thing that has ever been, to completely deconstruct and disassemble it in all of its entirety, for the entire world to see?

If anybody can actually come up with a legitimate answer to that, I welcome you to leave a comment and let me know, because I'm f***ing stumped. Anyhow, I guess it's time to get the show on the road.

Strike Witches Episode 10 - Trust and Friendship

So you may have noticed I didn't get around to posting. Honestly, I was just feeling really ill. I even went to bed early and everything because that's how bad I was feeling. I blame the cold weather.

But I did promise that I'd try and make up. So you know what I'm adding? A Pantsu counter. Yes, and actual, honest to god pantsu counter. Every time a shot comes up, I'll add it to the tally. By the end of the episode, we'll see just how many pantsu we can get up to, and god help me if I get a pantsu x3 combo or something because my head will explode from the sheer amount of f**kitosity it will incur.

Yes. F**kitosity. That's a goddamn thing now.

Free! Episode 11 - Furious All-Out!

I already know I'm going to regret watching this. They're going to do the same thing they've already done before - set up a major cliffhanger that could be strung out over the entire episode if they really wanted to maximize the dramatic tension, only to have it resolved within the first three minutes of the episode, only to relegate the cliffhanger to a miserable existence of never really having needed to exist in the first place, because any dramatic tension associated with it has since dissipated.

In short: This show will fail to become awesome. Rei isn't going to deliver an amazingly awesome speech. He probably isn't even going to say anything particularly noteworthy. My predictions? He's going to be all espousing the values of friendship and teamwork.

I'm ready to be disappointed. Are you?

Sailor Moon R Episode 09 - Is Seijuro the Moonlight Knight? Mako Falls in Love

One of these days, when I'm feeling not entirely all that lazy (re: probably no time soon), I'm going to go through and compile a list of every single sin committed by this show. No, I'm not talking the Cardinal ones (though those will likely be included in the list). I'm talking about things like incest, beastiality, necrophilia... you know, the usual stuff. Every time someone in this show does something morally reprehensible. Then, I'm going to make a running list of good guys versus bad guys, and find out just who is really the more questionable of the two.

I hope to be pleasantly surprised by those findings. By which I mean to say, I really hope to find that the heroes are even more f***ed up than the villains.

And since we're talking about hopes and expectations, I'm going to go ahead and set mine pretty low for tonight, because let's face it - we're nearing the end of a relatively blase filler arc. And really, how good could that possibly be?

Strike Witches Episode 09 - Defend At All Costs

So I finally got to see Pacific Rim.

I'm not sure I need to say anything else. Considering anyone should know that I'm going to say it was f***ing awesome oh sweet god yes give me more. I mean, seriously. Wow.

I could say some pretty similar things about this show. Except replace 'awesome' with 'horrible' and everything after with the word god with 'why'. But other than that? Spot on.

Free! Episode 10 - Irritated Heart Rate!

Oh thank God. According to AniDB, Free! has now been officially listed as only being twelve episodes. That means in two weeks I can drop this show like a bad habit and forget it ever even existed.

No, wait, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to. Not without a great deal of alcohol, electrodes, and twelve volt batteries. Y'know. For electro-shock therapy.

Right. Three episodes. I can do this.

Sailor Moon R Episode 08 - The Culture Fest is for Me?! Queen Rei Sings With Passion

Okay, okay. So I've come to the conclusion that somehow, Sailor Moon is my favorite series to cover out of all of these. Not because it's particularly good, but because it is just horribly bad in all of the right ways that are tolerable, even though they do some incredibly questionable things.

Y'know, like mindf***ing people out of your love for them. Even though that 'love' may really only just be one of those stupid teenage illusions. Because seriously, in all of the flashback stuff, not once has there been actual evidence that those two were ever in any sort of real relationship. After all, how the hell do you get romantically involved with a guy you've never met, who just so happened to show up to say "hey, Earth is about to kill you all, just thought I'd come and warn you, and then kind of die right after they show up along with everybody else. Sorry."

The answer: You don't.

So after the babysitting fiasco, it's time we sit down and examine just how much further this show can sink. Trust me, it's gonna get real weird later this season when *spoilers* shows up.

Strike Witches Episode 08 - Forget You Not

Oh god damn it. Is it really almost Monday again already? Considering my choices include skipping this show are forcing myself through the other half of that HORRIBLE F***ING CLUSTERF**K OF A PEDOPHILE'S WET DREAM, or forcing myself to wade through both this and an episode of Sailor Moon...

Yeah, you know which one I'm gonna pick.

Life hurts right now.

Free! Episode 09 - Hesitant Loosen Up!

I've got a fever. And the only prescription is WHATEVER WILL KILL THIS SHOW WITH FIRE. FOR GOOD.

Yes, sure, it's definitely not the worst show in the world. It's also not terribly good either, with characters that have about as much character as a Jim Hensen puppeteer. That's right, not the puppets, the people controlling those puppets. Those nameless dudes.

Because Kermit de Frog is a hell of a lot more entertaining than watching these schmucks swim around in a pool. AGAIN.  (Disclaimer: I actually love the Muppets, so don't take that as a bash, but lots of folks do for some dumb reason. That said? As a Muppet he doesn't really have much character, aside from being a frog.)

Sailor Moon R Episode 07 - Mamoru and Usagi's Babysitting Mayhem

I was seriously considering not posting anything today. Mostly because I'm just really tired and there's the fact that my new job pretty much has my schedule all turned upside down. And the fact that I haven't been able to prepare these ahead of time just yet.

Then I remembered what happened the LAST TIME I decided not to update on schedule.

IT DID NOT END WELL FOR ANYONE INVOLVED.

Strike Witches Episode 07 - Nice 'n Breezy

As noted previously, it's been a rather interesting last week. I may have felt inclined to, shall we say, live it up with things that don't involve forcing myself to watch shows I utterly despise. Mostly be working, sleeping, and stuffing food down my face hole.

Of course, then I started this episode up and immediately regretted it. I mean immediately. Let me show you why.