Dog Days' Episode 07 - Battle at the Cave of Sealing

There are few things I dread more than having to sit down and watch Dog Days'. To be fair, I've watched a fair share of terrible shows up to this point. Shows that have left me scarred for life. Shows that will make me tell stories to my children about the horrors they may encounter should they choose to stray too deep into the Internets.

Dog Days could have been a good show. I've said this before and I will keep saying it because it's true. It had a solid premise, and actually has a decent amount of detail that can be kind of fun and interesting. But unfortunately the issues lie purely in the execution of this series, and the fact that in order to maintain viewer interest, they are essentially forced to resort to fanservice baiting tactics to keep them engaged.

Last season, a fun little show called Shougeki no Soma aired. Also known as Food Wars. That show is f***ing phenomenal, and while part of me is kicking myself for not picking it up earlier, another part of me is giddy knowing that I can marathon the first half of it to my heart's content.

The difference between these two shows is that in Food Wars, not only is the fanservice equally distributed, but it is also utilized for a good reason. It helps put across how the food makes a person feel, rather than being used merely as a cheap gag to elicit juvenile, puerile giggles.

So now that I've written up a far-too-lengthy intro, let's just get to the meat and potatoes. And I'll try to refrain from making food puns. I promise.

Like usual, the show continues to plague me with its attempts to be good. No recaps, it just leaps right into things, and assumes you've been paying attention the entire time.

So this girl is doing this thing for what must be a good reason.

Anyways those folks off for a training thing or whatever show up at that one place to drop off some food I guess. Also sword bro is still around.

Cinque and Eclaire say hi and they find out an 'old friend' is dropping by. Then the sky goes black and uh, I guess we see the old friend.

"SUP BITCHES."

Oh, but don't worry. They're not introducing any new characters. Why would they do that at this point?

Instead they're just gonna re-introduce the ones from last episode.

So the big dragon? He's Kratos. They've dropped by because they know swordbro and Herosis. Back in the day they used to get up to some shenanigans or something, I guess?

... wait, how old is everyone again? Because now I'm getting kind of confused. HOW THE F**K OLD ARE ALL THESE KINGDOMS ANYWAYS?

Everything I said about good background? Throw that all out the window. They're just making shit up because they can at this point, and everyone in the show is a f***ing moron who can't remember things that happened in the last couple of decades.

CUE THE GODDAMNED INTRO.

Seriously, I grow really tired of them making shit up because DORAMA! It cheapens everything else in the show.

Giant flying two-headed mecha dragon airship thing? Lot less
impressive when you find out he's not even a badguy like
all of the legends state he must have been.

So they fly off into space and shit, leaving the current heroes behind while Yuki tells the tale of how they used to be a heroic party doing heroic shit. And now they just sit around and play cards or whatever.

THEY BLASTED OFF INTO SPACE RICO. YOU ARE THE
SCIENCE GIRL, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. THEY
ARE GOING TO SPACE SANDALS OR WHATEVER.

Turns out they're off to some desert to check on a seal or whatever. It's probably not a big deal. Which guarantees it will totes become a big deal.

So now that we've left the main characters of the show behind to focus on the NEW (or old?) main characters, they descend into the temple in the sand and talk about how it's been forever since they came down here. Also, there's some of those sprite things that we saw in the very first episode of the show and which were basically never mentioned again.

The designs are kinda cool, but everything else about the show
really makes it hurt.

They get to the seal, find out that Isuka's swords are still holding the talismans in place, and they basically pat themselves on the back about what a brilliant job they all did. Then Girugamesh talks about how demons come into being because I'm sure these folks really need to know that again. Because expository dialogue is so important. Also they must be thinking we somehow didn't learn this information last season. Or that we'd remember something so important (or awesome).

But what's interesting to note is that being a Demon isn't a permanent thing, and that, if sealed, they will in time revert back to their normal nature. So at least we get some new information, even though the people conversing about it totally shouldn't really be since they knew all this shit back when they set it all up.

We also find out though that this is an experiment and as such totally highly theoretical. Also, the demon king is all caring or whatever.

For a self-proclaimed Demon King you don't seem to be
much of either one of those things.

They get down to the next seal, and find out a giant mouse demon that was sealed away has had it's seal worn down pretty bad. Queen Kingly is all "man this one was a pain in the ass" and as she touches the sword it kind of shatters, along with the talisman.

Which causes the entire tomb to enter lockdown mode, and to polite ask whoever broke the seal to uh, KINDLY DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS SHIT. Because it's only polite to excise the demon you set loose.

But what they find isn't quite what they expected.

Damn Tribbles!

So instead of one big demon, they've got thousands of these things to deal with. Isuka does a thing and they all turn into... animal balls?

Uh.... okay. I thought that only worked on people...?

Well, they might be half-sprites or whatever but they are starving and so they have to be dealt with so it's time for them to get totally overwhelmed and then...

Oh for...

We've officially wandered into Muppet Babies.

Isuka is the only one who manages to avoid this fate, so he grabs everyone else and books it. Tiny Adel tries to shoot her gun but hits the ceiling and stuff goes wrong I guess and then they all jump over a chasm suddenly because I don't even know. But now they seem kind of trapped because the mice are working their way up to where they are hiding, and it turns out nobody can use their powers.

You know what that means, right?

Yeah. It's exactly what you thought.

So Adel decided at some point between episodes to establish a "Brave Connect", or a means of communicating with other people weaker than her just on the off-chance that maybe something might possibly go wrong at some point.

... yeah.

She talks to literally all three main characters at the same time, and ask them if they could, y'know, come lend a hand? So everyone heads off to do things because we need a way to have a dozen characters doing the same thing all at once. So Gaul asks some fishermen to give him boats while Yuki and Cinque decide to, I dunno. Fashion some weird boat or whatever?

Anyways they're all ready and then they all get teleported in to deal with the mouse menace.

Oh, I see. Gaul didn't want fishing boats, he wanted fishing nets.

... what?

Commercial break complete with incredibly disturbing fanservice.

I warned you it was disturbing.

So Adel summons everyone in, and everyone gets up to speed. But then mice! Better do a thing ro they will turn you into children. So some folks take flight while others just jump around and it's time to hero around or whatever.

Seriously crazy squirrel, do your people only live for like,
eight years or something? She CAN'T have been sealed
away for THAT long what with everyone else being young.

We get to see everyone basically kicking ass en masse and netting up tiny blobs.

Admittedly, this is adorable.

Thanks to Becky basically being hax, she gravity wells the remainder. Well, almost.

"FINALLY I AM FREE FROM MY MASSIVE JUGS!"
"Damnit, why did I get *smaller*!?"

Sorry Cinque, you're on your own now. But there are still more mice coming out from everywhere, and it's a bit much for everyone to handle.

Also somehow, clothes magically resize themselves.

Also literally everyone gets the adorable treatment.

Now we're down to Becky, Cinque, Gaul and Crazy Squirrel Princess. Since everyone else is tiny.

Just say you used magic. That shit we understand.

Gaul and Cinque decide to go deal with the rest, but Adel imparts to these two bros a red and blue gem (and if you can't tell who gets which you clearly don't understand color theming), they thank her and rush off to do battle on Cinque's amazing fire-hoverboard.

Becky and Tiny Cousin tag along anyways, but things get kind of weird as all the tiny mice begin to turn into one big rat. Who swings its tail around to try and deal with the heroes.

Oh yeah, and also, this Raticate knows Hyper Beam.

WHY DOES RATICATE KNOW HYPER BEAM OGOD.

Cinque puts up a shield thing and the other two girls nearly get blown away by giant laser. But they catch up, and find the boys are just fine. After all they've got those gems don't they?

.... wait what.

I think I need a moment to process this.

The monster was 'absorbing' people's 'youth' to fuel its transformation or something. But now Cinque and Gaul are all growed up and super shonen badass and they're going to do a thing.

They do the thing and look super bad ass while doing it and seal it away together.

I'm sure that's not what they expected, of course.

Now that the smoke clears, the boys look at each other, and realize something's kind of off.

*sigh*

Everyone eventually returns to normal, except the boys who return the gems which now have their heroic emblems etched into the crystals. Which is curious I guess and not what anyone expected? According to Adel this is 'proof the Hero Crystals have accepted you as their rightful owner.'

*sigh*

Anyways not everyone returns to normal immediately, so of course some people decide they want to enjoy this for as long as they can.

Yeah.

I want to beat my face in with a hammer.

Some other folks start returning to normal which means the guys need to be blinded because the girls will not have properly-sized clothes as a result. Which means everyone gets naked because tiny clothes.

But don't worry because Squirrel Princess has immediate replacements somehow.

Also, we get to laugh about pedophilia in a children's show.

Why doesn't Cinque just fly on his own? Because
groping Becky is too hilarious to pass up of course.

Don't believe me?

... only kind of?

A new sword gets put in place, hopefully the demons will turn back to normal, the boys return to normal, and the girls laugh about how sexy Gaul and Cinque will be in a couple of years.

Also more pedo jokes.

Hurr hurr you make me want to vomit.

Quick, everybody pile onto Cinque because he's the greatest.

Cinque and Becky head back to the palace to tell Rico and pinky what went down, Rico throws a fit, and more innuendo is used.

ARRRRGH!

And of course, more creepy princess.

I am entirely uncomfortable with this. Oh god.

Adel flies off with a squirrel on a GIANT F***ING DRAGON, Demon King sits around drinking with some other heroes, and everyone laughs because the episode is finally over.

Seven episodes in, and this whole thing feels like filler material.

Y'know, if they cut out the sex jokes and innuendo, and just went with the light-hearted fun? This would be a much more enjoyable show. It has its legitimate amazing moments, but they are immediately neutered by everything else going on at the same time.

This show has everything I should like, but it makes me hate it so much. It may not have a plot to speak of at this point, but I'm kind of okay with that on the one hand, because it doesn't feel like it's really building up to anything, which is kind of refreshing. This makes it somewhat better than last season.

On the other though, I can't help but admit there's not a lot of substance to the show because there's no over-arching plot like last season.

Given that we are well past the halfway point by now, there's not much hope of the show changing at this point. We're just going to get another five episodes of vacation, followed by the inevitable 'time to go home' goodbyes finale.

Dog Days' is really trying very hard to make me like it. But it just has too many problems I simply can't look past, because it keeps not ever really improving itself.

I'm gonna go lie down. Maybe watch some Miyazaki or something. Or play more Ni no Kuni. Because that is much better than having to suffer Dog Days'.