Astarotte no Omocha Episode 11 - A Full Stop For Just The Two of Us

I hope you're all having a good holiday season. Unless you are reading this during some other season, in which case I hope you're having a good day. Also, I want to take a moment to thank you for dropping by for the express purpose of reading me lose my goddamn mind while trying to come to terms with the fact that I am basically forcing myself to watch the closest thing to animated child pornography they could afford to actually air on television.

All for the hope that a few random strangers might get a good laugh out of it.

Go ahead. Laugh. I think it might be the only thing I have left these days.

I Wanna Be the Strongest in the World! - Or How to Fail at Anime Period

Artist's rendition of how being forced to watch this show
makes me feel. Not pictured: My screaming visage.

Making anime can be hard. Yes, we have lots of tools to help with that shit these days, but we all know that to keep drawing the same thing hundreds of times over is nothing short of insanity.

Which is exactly why this show confuses and aggravates me so much. Because they must have either been crazy or smoking a very special kind of crack in order to think trying to push this show was ever a good idea in the first place.

It had a ridiculous premise, and then it tried to play itself straight. And failed miserably.

This is my final review for this show. Spoiler alert: It ain't pretty.

Strike Witches - Leaving Empty Shells All Over

It says a lot about a show when it is required to have a pantsu counter attached to it.

Mostly bad things, of course.

Now I'm not to say all fanservice is terrible. Because I love me some ladies. I just prefer them to be a little bit more grown up. And not necessarily still in elementary school.

I love Gonzo. They're not the best animation studio out there but they've done some incredible work. Why, just look at their pedigree of shows, and games they've helped out with: From doing some of the animation work in Lunar and Lunar 2: Eternal Blue (incredible games I might add), to creating great original properties such as Vandread, Kiddy Grade, and making films like Blue Submarine No. 6, they do some damn good work.

So why. WHY. WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD WOULD YOU MAKE THIS SHOW?!

I get you probably wanted to tackle a ridiculous concept, and that I approve of. What I don't approve of, however, is you focusing more on the fact that little girls flying around with panties is a thing we need constantly shoved in our faces. Along with incredibly questionable artistic choices.

Today, I take a look back and break down everything that is wrong with Strike Witches in one big, final review.

Free! - Out of the Closet and Into the Pool

I should have done this long ago. But it's time that I set the record straight. Time that I finally shined a light on the truth of things. It's time I gave my final review... for Free!.

With everything else I've been watching, I can safely say that of everything I will likely ever watch, this will wind up being the best worst anime I will ever have to see.

Yeah. I can't believe I'm saying it either.

I Wanna Be the Strongest! FINAL - To the World!

You know, I like looking at statistics sometimes. I think it's kind of fascinating. Specifically right now I am referring to ones related to this blog. Despite the low amount of traffic it gets, I have to say it really provides some fascinating insights.

All I can figure is that this must be getting around in certain smaller circles, because every now and again I take a peek at how people are finding their way here. I am actually amazed at how this manages to hit front page on things I never could have guessed.

Although, why people are thinking this blog is called "Moonlight Princess Punishment" I have no idea. But I think it's pretty neat that some dude (or dudette, I'm not judging) in Japan seems to keep hitting up the ol' Google for it. Good on ya.

So Christmas is just a few days away! What better way to celebrate than to get this utterly horrible waste of time out of my way? After all, I've got more important terrible shows to ruin my life with. Like Astarotte. Oh god why did I ever start watching that why...

Wanna Be the Strongest! Episode 11 - Pure Soul!

Late posts are late because I've been busy formatting a hard drive. These things happen. Thankfully, I still have enough good space left elsewhere to do necessary things related to this blog, so let's just get down to business.

I really just want to point out that I hate this show with a burning passion, because it is a waste of everything. It's a waste of time. A waste of effort. One might even say it was a waste of money to create. It could've been at least okay, but it has been slated to never rise above mere mediocrity because the people creating it just want to shit out every show based off of a manga they can get their hands on. Period.

Go ahead. Look at what show they've got airing next season. I'll wait.

In fact, screw it. I'll just link you the video.

It seemed like it could actually be decent. And then I realized: wait, why are they showing fanservice in the middle of a trailer? And then? I realized with horror at the end who was responsible for releasing this.

I've got a show to tear apart. Let's do this.

Astarotte no Omocha Episode 10 - Fist of Fellow Neighbors

Happy Holidays folks. It's funny but I almost always say 'Happy Holidays' instead of Merry Christmas, despite being raised Christian. Why? I dunno, I guess it just seemed more right, whatever. I don't get all pissy when people decide to wish me a Happy Hannukah or something (though come to think of it... I'm not sure anyone ever has...). It seems silly.

Anyhow that seems like a good enough way to transition into me pointing over at that little poll box to your right. No, your other right. No, your other other right. Yeah. There ya go. That thingy. It's got a question and some silly answers, but why do that?

Well. I don't talk about this stuff at all but it's there to help me see how many folks are engaging with this blog. To date, I think I have about two readers. I am an instant Internet Success!

But seriously, if you read the blog go ahead and just tick one of those suckas off for me that'd be great. Or leave a comment down below. Or, I dunno. Email? Whatever. If people aren't telling me what a horrible job I am doing then clearly I am Doing It Right. So off to destroy my brain! Today, we're doing Astarotte.

I mean we're watching her. Because doing her would be oh for f***'s sake.

Sailor Moon R Episode 24 - A Battle of the Flames of Love! Mars vs Koan

Here we go again. Finally, the 70th episode of Sailor Moon, and the episode that proves I am well beyond the mid-point of this season finally - at 43 episodes, I'm not sure why this feels like such a shock.

Better yet though, it also means I am one step closer to that dreaded 100th episode. The true halfway mark. It's like seeing a long journey ahead of you, and realizing you've gotten so far, but you still have the hardest parts of it left.

Already, I fondly look back on villains past, and lament their passing. Nephrite? I miss you. Zoisite? Come back to me. Hell, even Beryl playing with that stupid pointless crystal ball, I would take them all back in a heartbeat if it meant I didn't have to deal with the four phantom sisters and their incredibly lame automatons.

Not to mention Rubeus. My god is he stupid or what? His evil plans all involve taking over ice cream stalls and cosmetics stores - at least the villains of the past were coming up with horrible ideas that, while incredibly contrived made some sort of goddamn sense. Like that gym that sucked people's energy.

Yes, magic is still bullshit. But at least back then the magic pretended to stand for something, even if it didn't know what it was...

I better just get this over with. Because I've been told the show is only going to get worse in later seasons.

Much. Much. Much worse.

Wanna Be the Strongest! Episode 10 - Sakura's Fate!

You know, this one is late because I've been dealing with a hard drive failure (which, as you can imagine, can make it somewhat difficult to get anything done). The plan was to do a catch-up episode today, and then I realized something: Today is my birthday.

Shocking, I know. So then I decided against it, and drifted off to sleep and was well on my way to having fond dreams of strange things, when my phone began to ring.

And ring.

And ring.

So then I said f**k it. Since I'm up anyways.

Funny but true: There's a strange tradition in certain smaller Asian countries (I've heard tales from areas surrounding the Phillipines) where a person, upon reaching their birthday, actually winds up giving presents to their friends. Usually in the form of food or some such, but I figure hey, what better way to justify putting in work on my birthday of all days?

And we can all agree that having to put up with this show is a hell all of its own.

Astarotte no Omocha Episode 09 - Backslash of Slight Fever

You know, as each of these episodes come to pass, I find myself continuing to invoke the "not as bad as Kodomo no Jikan" line, as though that were somehow supposed to give me comfort. As if the knowledge that, despite how bad a thing is, it could somehow still be worse just makes everything all that much better, even though in actuality all it does is add another layer of horror on top of everything.

Well, I mention this because today, I may have discovered something worse than KnJ. Let that sink in for a moment.

Something worse than reverse loli rape.

... assuming it ever actually makes it onto TV (there's been some delay on that, and for good reason based on everything I know about it), I may be forced to watch it. And possibly vomit all over my keyboard.

... and not actually possibly joking about that either.

With those happy thoughts, let's see just how bad Astarotte can affect the human mind hm?

Sailor Moon R Episode 23 - Awaken, Sleeping Beauty! Mamoru's Distress

Oh god, it's that time again already? I just keep writing these things, but it seems like it'll never end. Sure, I'm halfway through R at this point, but that means I'm only halfway through R at this point. It's like deciding to drink a glass of milk in one go, and realizing halfway that was a really stupid idea.

Come to think of it, I guess that just describes this blog in a nutshell. A really stupid idea.

Seriously. I complain about all this horrible stuff I force myself to watch, and my friends are all "why are you doing this to yourself?" and all I can say is, hell I don't know? If I'm not making people laugh (and I hope I'm doing that or I am really doing it wrong), then what's the deal?

I'm going to keep using the 'super-in-depth critique' excuse. Because nothing says tearing a show apart by watching a series in its entirety and breaking down everything that is horrible about it.

Or maybe I really do want to drive myself mad. Who knows.

Enough of that shit let's get on with the show.

Astarotte no Omocha Episode 08 - A Strong Comma

I was unable to get this out to you earlier because, well, reasons. But I dislike being a liar above nearly anything else, so here's the final bonus update for the week - starting next week we'll be returning to the usual three per week. Try not to hold onto that sinking feeling of despair and resentment that is clearly beginning to permeate your very soul. I try not to, at any rate.

And, of course, in true idiot fashion, I pick what is probably the worst possible show to end on, because frankly, I'm just a horrible person when it comes to the things I do to myself. I'd call myself masochistic but honestly? I don't think I care about myself quite nearly enough for that. It's more of a simmering resentment really.

Sailor Moon R Episode 22 - Protect Chibi-Usa! Clash of the 10 Warriors

You know, maybe I really have been too hard on Sailor Moon. I've been talking to some folks on this thing called the "internets" (you may have heard of it, it's all the rage these days). I asked the same question I've been asking myself for well over a year, since I started this damn thing, and got an answer that actually... well, surprised me in that it was incredibly well thought out.

See, while this show may not have been the first of its genre (Cutie Honey takes that crown I think), or even the best (see: Cardcaptor Sakura, Pretty Cure), it did seem to hit at just the right time and place. What made it stand out from the other shows? Well, it had a storyline that seemed to go from one episode to the next, giving you a reason to want to keep watching.

People have also claimed that by making the characters assholes who 'still do the right thing' makes them easier to identify with... which I suppose does make a lot of sense. But what's even more mystifying is the market they were trying to reach was incredibly wrong. They were trying to cash in on the toy market (what show wasn't?!), but instead of airing it at a time children were likely to be watching, they seemed to be shoving their show off to the early teens. Which is fascinating.

Of course, this still doesn't justify that everyone in this show is an idiot. But okay. I'll try to go a little easier on it, bearing some of this information in mind.

... I bet I won't make it twenty minutes before I'm screaming at my monitor.

Wanna Be the Strongest! Episode 09 - The Astounding Newbie!

As I was lounging about, as I often tend to do, a strange thought occurred to me while trying to prepare myself to watch this episode.

I Wanna Be the Strongest In the World is, quite possibly, a contender for the worst anime I've ever seen.

Free! was kinda bad, but I'll admit that it's definitely the best bad anime I've forced myself to sit through. Kodomo no Jikan was simply a nightmare I care never to repeat again. And yet, despite being an anime about an idol-turned-wrestler, this show is somehow competing with a story of how an elementary school student wants to rape her teacher.

Dear god how is this even possible?!

Astarotte no Omocha Episode 07 - Apostrophe of Secret

So I barely remember the last weekend. Not entirely sure why, but it all feels like just a hazy blur of working. As such, I pretty much slept through all of Monday.

It wasn't my intention, but these things happen, I suppose. So unfortunately, it looks increasingly likely that you'll only be getting four updates this week instead of five, before returning to the usual schedule.

I'm sure you won't miss it at all.

I know I won't.