Sailor Moon S Episode 10 - The Kindness of a Man! Yuichiro, Heartbroken by Rei?

My quest to survive all of Sailor Moon ever continues.

By the way have I mentioned that Sailor Moon Crystal is kind of awesome? Because it really is.

Seriously, if you haven't watched it yet and are reading this, my question is: why? Go watch it you fool. And revel in how much better it is than this mess.

Unrelated news: Seems like my blog is getting more popular in the Asian markets. So hello if you live in Korea. Or Japan. Or China. Or anywhere in Asia really. I hope that you can read this. (But let's face it, you probably can because you are Asian and therefore awesome at everything I'm not. Like drawing. Or tap dancing.)

Back on topic, Sailor Moon. I can safely say it's at least better than The Choujo (though that's really not saying much now is it?).

Oh today is gonna be a painful one to watch isn't it. This one is all about love. Wait wait don't leave yet. Yes, I know lots of episodes are dedicated to that 'love' thing. It's almost like it's a theme in this show. But this time we're focusing on Rei's love life. Or lack of one. And resurrecting some characters who haven't shown up for like forty episodes.

Oh and of course someone gets attacked by an evil monster I mean it wouldn't be Sailor Moon if that wasn't happening now would it?

So this episode kind of starts out pretty boring. Rei is doing a thing at the shrine in front of a fire, we see images we saw way back in episode one that have basically been repeated over and over since, and she's still trying to figure out what this dream she's been having is all about. At least she's trying to do something useful for a change?

Title slide blah blah more chanting in front of the fire and Yuichiro is busy watching her stare at flames all night, while the grandpa shows up to go "hey, ogling my grandkid? Yeah I would too if I were you."

It's all in the subtext, really.

Of course instead of attempting to understand that the boy might have a point, worrying about her health because she keeps doing this thing every night for quite a long time now, instead he opts for "eh, I'm sure it's fine, no big deal."

Yes, your granddaughter is staring at a flame all night, and you aren't worried by this at all.

Even for a priest, this should be slightly disconcerting for him. Maybe even warrant a "hey is everything okay?" talk at some point during the day? I mean that's what logical people do.

*facepalm*

Your grandkid might be going insane, but it's fine. Just let her continue to obsess over some mysterious thing like it's nothing. Aren't you supposed to be wise and knowledgeable and shit, couldn't you share some of your insights with her or something? No? Oh right I forgot you're a lecherous dick.

Understandably, the guy goes all out trying to break Rei's concentration, in an attempt to get her to eat some food. Because it's been awhile since she last did that eating thing I guess. Not that it does any good because she just continues to stoically ignore him. He's always just been kind of background noise, so why should that be any different? It's not like the dude has risked his life for hers on more than one occasion.

... in case you haven't seen any of this show, you would know that is sarcasm. I thought I might point it out though, for your benefit.

But then it looks as though something is finally about to happen - a breakthrough of sorts, an image in the fire - and some of Rei's hair gets a little too close, to Yuichiro reaches out to stop this, which snaps her out of her trance.

She of course asks him to please leave her the hell alone so she can focus. Being the stand up fella that he is though, he hands her his sash and asks her to at least tie her hair back so she doesn't burn to death. Because that would suck. And she promptly ignores him, and he feels a little sad.

Imagine stock footage you've seen before being played at high speed. And now Evil Genius Guy is being creepier than usual, all while cobbling together all the stock footage possible to make this totally phoned-in scene workable.

Seriously guys how much of this budget will you
cheese out on? Because this is ridiculous.

Much to my amazement however, they actually manage to give him even more new character sprites. Why, he even gets mad and begins to throw a fit, which is amusing enough.

It's so hard to take Evil Umino seriously.

They talk a lot about how 'perfect' these eggs are, and how they are like living art blah blah whatever you just sound even more pompous than usual. Also, this guy is literally taking everything from the 'cartoon villain' tropes page, and applying it to his entire persona.

He is literally the stereotypical Mad Scientist Villain.

Oh and his goal is to bring about the end of everything? Yeah.

Railroad crossings! Rei is tired and is thinking of skipping the study group today. The one that is almost always hosted at her place. She has a tail today however - a very concerned Yuichiro. Who also has a tail. Usagi, who seems to enjoy making fun of the fact that he is so concerned for the girl's safety. I mean, what's sleep deprivation ever done to a person anyway?

As always, Usagi has the answers. Rei's been staying up late at night trying to tell some kind of crazy important fortune? Oh well it's pretty obvious to her what's the deal.

I'm not sure he's really someone to lose sleep over...

Of course, you didn't hear anything from her about this stuff. Yuichiro clearly takes it all the wrong way (as intended), and is all "hells yeah she wants to marry me!"

By the way, there's an evil lady doing evil things somewhere. Wonder what she's up to.

Seriously you've seen these things like a dozen
times before already. How is this new to you?!

For once, however, Kaorinite actually has a pretty brilliant scheme in mind. By infecting the train, she can check pretty much everybody in the city - which makes it pretty easy for her to get some results. Even better: Instead of just letting the seeds fly out and do things on their own, she is instead electing to choose what they infect. Unless she was doing that before and was just letting it possess whatever? I mean who would choose to let something infect a goddamn cat puzzle?!

I'm never getting over that one.

More stock possession footage and oh no it is now AN EVIL TRAIN. Off to find some pure hearts.

Meanwhile, that one dolt is still wandering around when he catches Rei laughing it up with some dude next to his bike. Except that's not so much a dude as it is Haruka, but given that everybody else in this show has made the exact same mistake, and that he constantly has hair-in-the-eyes syndrome, I can't blame the guy for making this connection.

To be fair, Haruka is being pretty forward.

Then she gets offered a ride home on the bike and she gets all happy and close and Yuichiro is convinced: His life is over. He cannot compete with that.

He wanders off to presumably go kill himself, and Rei finally puts that band he gave her in her hair, because I guess sitting in front of a fire is okay, but riding on a bike? You gotta tie that shit back.

... man this freaking show and its priorities dude...

Thaaaaat's what she said.

Later, she's falling asleep during the study session and folks are calling her out on it. So she goes off to do a thing and Usagi says that everyone should be free to fall in love at their age. Which... is probably pretty misleading since the other girls seem to suspect that she knows about a thing, which she may suspect, but doesn't actually know. But this is Usagi, she just makes shit up all the time.

Makoto is pretty sure whatever is bothering Rei doesn't involve matters of the heart however, and decides to confront her on this in the most direct way possible.

She's not exactly one for subtlety.

Heck, she even manages to call her out on the thing that this is actually all about. She's trying to find out what the deal with their new enemies is, and Mako respects that. She just wants to know as soon as possible so they can run out and kick some ass and maybe take a few names.

Elsewhere, a dude is still running from his problems late at night, when he washes his face in a park and comes across a wandering minstrel.

Maybe not so much 'wandering' I guess...

Oh and she's joined by that other 'dude' and he watches as they talk. About Haruka wondering if what they are doing is 'pointless'. Michiru, on the other hand, is all "hey, don't be talking like that, we are now a part of this shit and have to do our part no matter what."

They share a tender embrace, and someone gets the wrong idea. Of course he would.

And you still have hair in your eyes.

Cut to commercials while he gets all angry at this two-timing sleazeball.

Now it is suddenly raining, and Yuichiro is in Fist of the North Star. Or at least he kinda has that pose while the lightning flashes behind him, and turns out he is meeting with Haruka. In the middle of the rain. For uh, some reason.

Yeah that's a brilliant idea dude.

What happens next is just purely comical. He spends the next few minutes throwing himself around, while Haruka just stands there calmly with an umbrella, going "uh, dude, you okay? Because that looks like that hurt."

Just as it looks like Haruka might need to, I dunno, move or something, Rei shows up, and is understandably confused, and demands some answers. He decides to man up and uh, well. Completely be wrong about everything ever. He straight up calls Haruka a two-timing sleaze, but then says that he should break up with that other girl, and stop tearing poor Rei's heart up. Because he's a sensitive, caring guy who instead of talking with the person he supposedly cares for decides to completely assume he knows the entire situation, and leaves the fate of said person in the hands of someone who just kind of stood around while watching the poor guy throw himself to the ground repeatedly.

... yeah it's pretty pathetic.

After he walks off while quietly muttering his goodbyes, Haruka is all "uh, shouldn't you like, go after him?" and Rei goes "man I don't even know that guy."

So is everyone else in this show, what's your point?

Back at the shrine, Usagi once again has all the answers as to why Rei hasn't come back yet.

This may be the sleaziest Usagi we have seen yet.

Mako calls for the other girls to check out this emergency developing, as Yuichiro has suddenly decided to leave the shrine. True to fashion, he runs out into the sunset, not wanting to answer their questions of why, complete with passing directly by Rei who doesn't even notice him and a cheesy romance song is playing softly in the background.

I get it guys. You are spoofing romance films where the girl gets with some other guy. You're not really doing yourselves any favors however by pretty much eliminating all of the emotional impact that comes with this stuff - these characters are just going through the motions, hoping that you get all of the references to things which are clearly much better.

She turns to watch him run off and calls him an idiot and the girls are all "we should go get him!" But Rei is all "meh, whatever, he's kind of an idiot." Which he is. But while Usagi does know that he really cares for her, Rei has a very simple question.

It's not like anyone has been trying to do ANYTHING
to dispel any of these misunderstandings.

Leave it to what is arguable the DUMBEST character to make the absolutely OBVIOUS claim: that Rei should talk to the guy and clear this shit up? I mean, holy crap, at what point does Usagi, the girl who has trouble tying her own damned shoes, become the only person in the show with common damn sense?

Then her friend slaps her in the face and she goes running after the guy, while they do another terrible song montage.

Rei catches him at the train station, just as the train comes up, and he steps on, alone. Or tries to but then EVIL TRAIN MONSTER APPEARS.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Pretty sure it wasn't this.

At least this one isn't stripping. Instead, her star is in her armpit, so that's two 'normal' monsters, and eight stripper variants.

... that is not a very good track record for this show.

Time for Sailor Mars to do a thing because oh noes a heart is being stolen what terribleness.

Should've used Secret girl.

Having come onto the scene, Yuichiro falls to the ground and Rei gets swung around while Kaorinite discovers once more that the Talisman she is looking for is in another castle. Then the other girls show up, rescue the crystal, and chastise them about not understanding that the rail ways are supposed to be safe.

Kaorinite up and leaves while the Train Monster makes terrible train puns.

Just... just... sigh.

Eventually Rei slaps a talisman on her head, freezes the monster in place, and burns her up so that Sailor Moon can get her requisite stock footage time in the show, because there's like, less than two minutes of runtime left at this point. Heart attacks occur, trains are returned to working order, and hearts are put back into place while two other girls are like "eh, cool".

Later Yuichiro wakes up next to Rei who is all "man be careful you are hurt" and he's like "what about the monster?"

Monster? What monster? Oh you poor dumb fellow you must have been dreaming here let me joke about how you are an idiot and must have hit your head or something.

She then goes on to pretty much grind him back into the dirt by telling him to get his punk ass up so they can walk home, and he can apologize for trying to beat up a girl tomorrow.

Spoken like a true gold digger.

They walk off into the starlight and the episode ends.

My god this episode was terrible. It felt just thrown together without much care. We have already sunken below the level of quality we were experiencing during last seasons's lowest points - and they had some pretty bad ones. Especially with Ali and En.

This show better start picking up soon if it wants a passing grade. The level of stock footage at this point is Too Damn High.