Diabolik Lovers Episode 07 - Lucky Number Slevin

With the completion of Pupa under my arms, I can now continue to devote my life to other terrible shows. Though I'm pretty sure I won't be picking anything back up on the 'Saturday' slot, because three shows in one week is almost more than the human brain can handle.

That having been said, we once again turn our critical eye back to the love story worse than Twilight. This is a love story, right? Because it's certainly not all that horrifying. Or rather it is but probably not in any of the ways the staff had hoped it would be.

Pupa Episode FINAL - Larva

It's finally time to bring this baby home after all this time. The train is coming back to the station, folks, and it won't be leaving again.

Which is my subtle way of calling this show a train wreck. Which is why it won't be leaving again.

This is the last episode of this completely abysmal show, so let's see just where it ends up eh?

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 11 - The Witch's Crucifix

Sometimes, writing this part of the blog is literally the hardest part.

I mean let's face it, after the jump everything else practically writes itself. No real effort there. But this? The intro? The part where you get to take a tiny peek into my mind to discover how much sanity remains? That's the really hard part.

Maybe part of it is just because having to write so many of these things gets, well, hard to do after awhile. You hit writer's block. What then? You've got to talk about something or other because let's face it, otherwise you'll ruin the format and not have anything to jump to.

Majority of it is probably the fact that I know, deep in the bottom of my soul, that after the cut there is no going back. And maybe I just want to spare myself the agony of f***ing Seiko no Qwasar, The Qwasar of Stigmata, even if it is just for a few more minutes.

Oh god do I hate this show with a burning fiery passion of a thousand suns. Do I ever.

Sailor Moon R Episode 37 - The Shocking Future! Dimande's Dark Ambition

Wow. This is my 175th Anime watching entry. That is quite the accomplishment. I mean, I've watched... a lot of truly, truly terrible anime by this point.

... and you know it suddenly occurs to me that if I had simply chosen to stick with only Sailor Moon I would be halfway through SS now.

... I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now...

Diabolik Lovers Episode 6.5 - They Actually Called It 6.5

You know, there are a lot of things that don't make sense to me. Like bell-bottom jeans. Seriously, what is up with those things?

But right now, perhaps the most perplexing thing for me is this 'episode 6.5' business. Why is this even a thing? Why was it necessary? Did you just really want to avoid the number 13 for some reason? Or are you simply substituting your episode titles for just numbers? In which case, why would you go with something as dumb as 6.5???

I don't have any of the answers for this, and I suspect I never will.

My body is ready... but never willing. Let's just get on with it already...

Pupa Episode 10 - Pupation

So who is up to waste another three minutes of their life with this crap? We're two episodes away from the big finish, which I can only assume is going to build up to something so incredibly epic people will be talking about it for decades.

... pffffhahahahahaha yeah right. Like anyone is even still watching this putrid corpse decay by this point. Except me.

... what am I doing with my life...?

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 10 - Looking After the House for the First(?) Time

I like to think that this show makes me pre-emptively sick every time I have to sit down and watch it. It's the only explanation for why I seem to feel physically ill around the same time every week.

I'm actually kind of serious about that. I always feel like shit around this time of week for some reason. And the only real constant in it, besides being my days off, is that this freaking show is waiting for me.

Let's just do this thing, and get the breast suckling over with already so I can move on with my life.

Sailor Moon R Episode 36 - Journey to the Future! Battle in the Space-Time Corridor

Have I ever mentioned what a terrible and frightening place the Internet can be?

Seriously guys. Like, there are just quite frankly some things I was probably better off not knowing. Like that people actually search for KnJ doujins and shit.

Like, Sailor Moon bondage? Fine. I can get that. This show has pretty much set itself up for some pretty terrible things but OH MY GOD WHY DO THERE NEED TO EXIST DOUJINS ABOUT LITTLE KIDS.

WHY HAS THAT SHOW FOREVER RUINED ME OH GOD WHAT HAS THE INTERNET (AND BY EXTENSION SCIENCE) DONE?

Speaking of science, it's time to get back to our experiment where I watch Sailor Moon and question the sanity of everyone that ever watched it. Including myself.

But especially myself.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 06 - Love Hexagon?

So. There are six vampire 'brothers', right? And in many anime the 'love triangle' is a trope which is applied as judiciously as a grade-schooler applies glue to a thin sheet of paper.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, they over play that shit a lot.

So if there are six interested parties does that make it a love hexagon? Wait, no, that wouldn't be quite right. What's the number after hexa? Septi? A septigon? I don't think that even exists. Google says it is a "heptagon".

Right so I guess I should've saved this for episode seven. Oh well. Still better thought out than the writing on this atrocity.

Pupa Episode 10 - Poison Curse

It's Saturday. This means it is time to watch that show which by its very definition should make you question humanity, but really just makes you wonder how it is possible to make something this bad.

Fortunately, this show is almost over. Soon, I will be able to render my final verdict upon this abhorrent blight on humanity, and forget it ever existed. Just like everyone else will.

I hope.

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 09 - Atomis of Two Faces (Part 2)

I am not drunk enough to be watching this show.

Of course, I'm also not drinking at all. Lord knows that would make this all that much more painful. But I get the distinct feeling that even if I did have alcohol in front of me, it wouldn't be enough.

It would never be enough.

Sailor Moon R Episode 35 - Dark Gate Completed? A Grade School in Danger

With every passing episode, I realize I come closer and closer to my goal. I get nearly ecstatic. Until I realize that even with only ten episodes left, that's almost another three months I have to put up with Sailor Moon R.

And that makes me weep bitter tears of agony.

For the thirty-four episodes I have watched thus far, there have been two, maybe three which truly stood out above the rest and were by all rights really freaking awesome. But the rest were just complete crap, not worth wasting the time.

And yet, here I find myself, wishing for the days when Ali and En were the most dangerous things wandering around the city. Or when Beryl was still alive and kicking.

Because at least they were kind of competent.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 05 - Still Just As Shitty As Ever

I have to wonder how many people actually bothered to watch this show up to this point. I mean, they lost me within the first five minutes, so how could they have possibly managed to keep someone's attention long enough to make it to the fifth episode?

The main defense for folks justifying the watching of anime is that the stories told in the anime format is so much better than anything you could get here in the states.

My friends, I am here to tell you that I've watched better Soap Operas than this steaming pile of garbage. And we all know Soap Operas are only one step up from Reality TV and Jerry Springer.

Let's face it folks, they're really pretty much on the same level.

So is there any hope at all for this steaming hot mess that would make Jackie Chan freak out?

... pffft as if.

Pupa Episode 09 - Specimen

Oh look at this, me doing things relatively on time. Honestly the fact that I've been able to sit down and make as many of these things as I have been is probably kind of impressive, given the time it takes to do them.

Or maybe it's not I dunno. Whatever. Today I'm watching Pupa.

I cannot wait for this shit to finally be over so we can forget it ever happened in the first place.

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 08 - Atomis of Two Faces (Part 1)

Part of me hoped that I had actually lost this show over the course of the last week. Then I could complain about how stupid I was, and say something about my lack of a proper filing system, laugh it off and then promise to continue the show but never actually continue it because I'd pick up a show far less horrible than this to take its place.

I think that's the part of me one might consider 'sane'.

It's a very small part, I assure you. So who wants to find out just how much worse this already atrocious show can be? I guess I do.

Sailor Moon R Episode 34 - Terrifying Illusion! Ami All Alone

I think I'm starting to get back into the groove finally.

While I'm not exactly dreading this upcoming episode, I'm already pretty sure I know what to expect out of it at this point. I mean, let's face it, after last episode's showing, things haven't exactly been top-tier quality around here.

I wonder what they're going to do today? Let's find out.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 4 - Neither Diabolik Nor Romantic

I put up with a lot of shit writing this blog.

I don't mean shit from the people who read this. No, the worst I've gotten from that is "WHY WOULD YOU WATCH THAT?!" Or maybe that time a certain friend was all "HEY YOU SHOULD WATCH KODOMO NO JIKAN I SWEAR IT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH TEARS." OH SURE THAT WENT OVER SUPER SWELL THANKS FOR ASKING. DICK.

But I digress. Because my point is that, quite frankly, I go through a lot of truly terrible SHIT to bring you this minefield of comedy gold. Am I mixing metaphors there? Probably. Am I gonna care?

Nah, not really. Today we're going back to Diabolik Lovers.

Pupa Episode 08 - Caterpillar

Did you know that Pupa is still a thing which is airing?

My best guess for its existence is that they actually have nothing else they could possibly be airing for four minutes.

Literally anything would be better than Pupa. Anything.

But no. This is still happening. So let's just get this over with...

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 07 - The Pure White Maria

One of these weeks, I won't feel too sick to actually get my Friday episode out on time. Though one might be inclined to actually believe that this show is, in fact, making me physically ill. Therefore, one might think that it would be a good idea to not watch this show.

But alas, I am stupid, and will continue to watch this molten piece of vomitous ass anyways.

I want you to appreciate the fact that I am not playing the beta weekend for the Elder Scrolls online at the moment. I am instead watching this show instead. Despite the fact that the servers are only up for a few days.

The sacrifices I make for this blog...