Status Update

Hi there, Internet.

It's been awhile.

What happened? It's been almost three months exactly since the last time I put anything here. I despise making posts like these, but I feel obligated to let you know what's going on, where things are going, and what's happened.

The short answer is: Shit happened. The long answer is longer.

Shimoneta Episode 05 - For Whom The Dirty Terrorism Benefits?

Once upon a time, there was a young man who had just discovered the wonders of anime. Of course, he had no idea what anime was - all he knew was that Sailor Moon looked kind of awesome, and it reminded him vaguely of some other cartoons his older brother watched many moons before.

But then, one day, he was introduced to the wonders that were Cowboy Bebop and Trigun. And from there, he discovered Gundam Wing, and it was basically downhill from there, you see. After this point, he would watch nearly anything and everything he could, because anime was great and fantastic and The Best Thing Evar.

It could do no wrong, you see.

I like to think that young man is rolling around in his grave at this point, because I can't see how any part of that young man may have survived the hell I've put him through. The hell I'm going to put him through.

F**k you Shimoneta. F**k you something fierce. I haven't even started watching this episode yet, and I already know I want it to die in a fire.

Such are the depths of my hatred for this show. Let us commence with the hell-raising. The pitchforks and torches are to your left.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 18 - Aim for the Prima! Usagi's Ballet

Hello there, Internet. This is where I might say something incredibly snobbish like 'didn't see you there' or 'sorry I was just in the middle of', but I never liked those sorts of things. I mean, it's fun once in awhile if you're, oh, Colbert, but most people are not, in fact, Colbert, therefore the delivery is kind of lackluster. It's not quite there.

Why am I going on about this? I dunno. Why are you reading a blog about bad anime? Why am I writing a blog about bad anime? Some answers don't have questions.

Don't think about that last one too hard. I'm not.

TO THE SHOW!

Maken-Ki! Episode 04 - The Enemy is at Tenbi

I am wondering if I am simply this exhausted, or if it is that time of year when my sinuses decide they are going to start doing mock illness drills or something. Because I tell you, it's been a weird day of doing nothing but sleeping. Which is a thing that generally only happens when I don't sleep enough for a week, or when I am beginning to get sick.

Hopefully it's not actually getting sick. My schedule is already backed up enough as it is.

Anyways, it's time for Maken-Ki. It's a show that exists and that I would really rather not watch, but let's just get this over with.

Shimoneta Episode 04 - The Saying Goes... Love Is Justice

I'm scared.

It has come to my attention that the fourth episode of Shimoneta may be my breaking point. And we are now at the fourth episode.

The end of the last one has certainly filled me with trepidation. You see, part of me believes this may be the end of the road. I could never watch this show again, and live a fulfilling life and be better off for it. But on the other hand... I started this blog for a reason. To chronicle the survival of some of the worst shows imaginable. And I have simply quit far too many shows at this point.

Therefore, part of me wants to prove the world wrong, and show them that I can survive anything Shimoneta has to offer.

Deep breath. We're going in. Wish me luck.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 17 - Sparkling Summer Days! Ami, the Girl in the Ocean Breeze

I was going to put something else here, but then I read the title for today's episode. Is this yet another character focus episode? Was the team power-up not enough? Or are we still cycling through the entire team getting hit on by the badguys or something?

God damn it Sailor Moon, you're almost halfway through your season at this point, get your shit together already! Ugh. You're going to make me suffer yet another stupid and pointless character focus episode. It's going to be so bad I'm already repeating myself.

Fine. Let's just get this over with then.

Maken-Ki! Episode 03 - Welcome to Maken-Ki

I can't be sure, but I think my intermittent Internet outages may have finally been fixed. One can only hope this is the case. With that having finally been fixed, I can go back to ruining what tattered remains of my soul still linger, and what better show to continue this with than Maken f***ing Ki?

I never thought the day would come when a show would make me miss Strike Witches. But this one has.

I hate you so much right now Xebec for making this garbage.

Shimoneta Episode 03 - How to Love Someone

I continue to fight with my ISP regarding the whole 'getting Internet' thing. It seems that they think there is not a problem, when in fact there continues to be a problem. It's kind of puzzling that this is a thing. How can you not see that there is a problem? Why is it that you seem to think the reason our connection continues to drop off the face of your network that this is an issue with the number of devices connecting to your service? When this has never been a problem until recently?

Truly, I am baffled. Almost as much as I am baffled by the anime I've been watching. Or the fact that my recent choices of viewing are, somehow, pretty darned popular in these parts.

Or maybe the Google stats are lying to me, who knows?

I've rambled on far too long about this nonsensical bullshit. So let's get down to business. Maybe defeat some Huns in the process. I have been informed by a Certain Someone that I may, in fact, be very near to the end of this show already. That by the next episode, any desire to continue watching may, in fact, be broken like some... easily broken thing.

While I realize this is a challenge, I look back on some of the other shows this person has suggested, and I shudder. Because I fear they may be right.

Let's get this going.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 16 - Time to Believe the Pegasus! The Super Transformations of the Four Soldiers

It feels like I just watched this show yesterday. Yet, I know this cannot be true. Time is simply beginning to blend together.

I wonder if perhaps this is just the effect of subjecting oneself to these kinds of shows on a regular basis. How you just go and wind up losing track of time because the experiences all blend together into one big chili pot of absurdity.

Why chili, you ask? Why this show? Or any other? Man I don't f***ing know anymore I just watch this crap.

Maken-Ki Episode 02 - Girls are Amazing

My Internet has been absolutely horrendous lately. Which makes updating the blog difficult, since being online is sort of a requirement for getting it done.

But now I seem to have a connection again for a little bit, so while our provider continues to f**k around and be completely unhelpful in general as to why our service keeps getting interrupted, I'll just knock Friday's update out now so we get caught up.

Unfortunately, it would have to be Maken-Ki. I am pretty sure this show is going to take me longer to get through than any other so far. Yeah, even longer than Daimidaler.

Here's to the next three hours of my life....

Shimoneta Episode 02 - The Mysteries of Pregnancy

So, I was trolling through the stats again, as I usually do. And of course, what happens to be the most popular post in the last week? Shimoneta.

I hate you people. But not nearly as much as I hate this show. It's not that I don't get the concept behind it. I do. It's sort of like the whole censorship thing, which I absolutely despise (yes har har funny coming from a guy who censors out f**k every time he uses it lolololol) but it takes on an air of just complete, unadulterated childish puerility with its concepts.

And yes, Google has just affirmed the puerility is, in fact, a word. So f**k you.

I'm in a foul mood. Let's make it worse.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 15 - Mansion of Secrets! The Menu of Love to You

Another Monday, another episode of Sailor Moon.

It saddens me that this show was one of the 'better' shows of its kind at the time. Hell, it saddens me that this was considered the pinnacle of anime for its time. Sure, we can laugh away at stuff like Dragonball for its wacky plot stuff, but Sailor Moon holds a special place for 'shows that have lots of episodes but do absolutely nothing'.

I'm sure that place is somewhere in the upper levels of hell. Perhaps around Limbo? Purgatory maybe? Sounds about right to me.

So speaking of staring into the depths of hell, it's time to get this thing going. Boy what a clever segue that was. *pats self on back*

Maken-Ki Episode 01 - The Day We Swore to Heaven

What a week it's been so far. Metal Gear Solid V. Work. Two new shows and not a whole lot of sleep to go around. But here we are at Friday. Which means the best gets saved for last, right?

Hell if I know, I know next to nothing about this show, and I'm honestly not sure if anything I watch in the next few months will even come close to that crap.

But you know me. I'm gonna try anyways.

So, Maken-Ki! is a show I guess. And I'm gonna watch it.

... god help me.

Shimoneta Episode 01 - Whom Does Public Order and Morality Serve?

It should be noted that the full title of this show is actually called Shimoneta  to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai. Loosely translated, this means "A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn't Exist".

Now, some of you might remember I watched another show called Daimidaler. It drove me up the f***ing wall. I may have considered saying some extremely horrible things about Japan as a result. I might have even almost entirely lost faith in anime because of it.

Let's just say, it was an all-around bad time, and I am not expecting anything less from this show.

So buckle in folks, because I get the feeling I will be crying blood by the time this episode is over with.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 14 - Storm of Love! Minako's Grand Two-Timing Plan

Man, what a week. It's nothing compared to what is coming, of course. Metal Gear Solid 5 is literally just around the corner - mere days away from forgetting I ever needed that thing called sleep. But since that time is not yet now, I really ought to get around to some of these other things, shouldn't I?

Why yes, yes I should. I've got two new shows in the lineup. I know I said I wanted to cut back. I still do. But I'm not going to. At this point, I am beginning to think I'm lying when I say it's because I hate myself that much. In reality, I think it's just because I'm too stupid to know when I should relax a bit.

So in the meantime you all get to laugh at my hilarious stupidity. And speaking of hilarious stupidity, we've got Sailor Moon on the docket for today.

... man I suck at segues today.

Ark IX OVA - We Don't Need No Title

Every now and again, I take time out of my day to really go out of my way to find some well and truly utter shite to watch around these parts.

But sometimes I don't need a new series - I just need something relatively short-ish. Something that is about the length of an OVA. Less than 40 minutes is preferable because movies take a very, very long time to deconstruct, and let's be fair - if something animated is lasting more than 40 minutes, chances are it is probably above the quality of shit I generally tend to ingest around here.

So what is Ark IX? Hell if I know, but I'm gonna watch it anyways. Because as an OVA, it is rated slightly above Hametsu no Mars over on AniDB, which should be a great indicator of just what level of quality we ought to expect.

And with a runtime of approximately 11 minutes, well, surely I can't lose, right?

Dog Days' Episode FINAL - Summer Memories

Sweet god it's finally come to an end. The nightmare that has been Dog Days.

Okay, so maybe it hasn't been as bad as some other things I've seen in these parts. It's no Qwasar, and it's certainly no KnJ. *shudder* That one still gives me nightmares.

But this show has left a particular impression on me. One filled with just utter stupidity and complete insanity. Not to mention the constant hero worship is cringe-inducing.

I will admit, however, the character designs are pretty freakin' rad. It's just kind of a shame that's really the only good thing about it all. The second season has been such a departure from the first that it's kind of jarring. Maybe if this was what the show was from the start, I might not judge it so harshly. On the other hand... part of me wishes that maybe there was at least a smidgen more substance? Maybe an actual story arc to follow instead of what is essentially a thirteen episode fanservice series.

I think that's what it really boils down to in the end that bugs me about this show. It's all fanservice and zero substance.

So now that I've gone off and ranted before the show even began, let's just get this over with huh?

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 13 - Love Those Minis! The Fashionable Soldiers

Hopefully by now, you know how things work around here. I queue up an episode, spend a couple of minutes delaying the actual watching of it by talking about some stupid banal thing that is utterly pointless, maybe ramble on for a paragraph or two about how I absolutely dread today's episode, and am generally a negative Nancy about things.

But y'know what? Not today. No. Why? Because today's episode is about clothes.

Yeah. That's right. Today's episode is about clothes. Truly the show for little girls is breaking new ground this time.

Hope you're nice and comfortable because today, we're just jumping right in with both feet. God help us all.

Gunparade March Episode FINAL - Everytime I Say Good-Bye

Finally. We're finally doing this. The end is nigh, and it is a glorious, wonderful, scintillating experience.

Make no mistake. I am absolutely convinced that this show will be a complete f***ing train wreck of a mess by the time this all ends. But y'know what? As long as Tanabe survives all of this, I could care less. Though to be fair, I'm fairly sure that all of this is just gonna be some shitty end anyways with maybe a hint of a war against aliens or whatever.

Yeah, kinda easy to forget that's what this show was supposed to be about, right? But then they decided three episodes in that was boring so they were gonna make it a love story instead. But not just any old love story. No, they were gonna make it the shittiest love story possible.

Enough of this. Let's get it over with. I want to enjoy every moment of never having to watch this putrid fecal offering ever again as is humanly possible.

Dog Days' Episode 12 - Final Stage

I am really looking forward to being done with this show. While it is an improvement over the last season, it still suffers from not really knowing what its target audience is supposed to be. Which is distressing to say the least. I can only imagine they must be trying to tag the teen demographic, what with all the sexy jokes and fanservice, but I'm not sure if the show can rely on this, given its rather child-like nature.

But what do I know? I'm just a disembodied voice shouting at the Internet.

Strap in yo butts, it's time to get this over with.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 12 - Try for the Best of Japan! The Worries of a Beautiful Girl Swordsman

Just when you thought these titles couldn't possibly get any longer, they somehow do. Good lord.

I had something incredibly witty I had planned to say, but then I queued up the next episode and realized this was going to be an episode for the books.

Oh, and I think I have some new shows lined up for the next 'season'. Since I'll be one episode short, maybe I will take a break next Friday? We'll just see. I'm sure I can find something.

Anyways, enough pointless rambling. Let's get to the good stuff. By which I mean this incredibly terrible episode.

It's gonna be a real doozy I can already tell.

Gunparade March Episode 11 - I Couldn't Bring It Up - A Good Reward For Their Labour

Oh my god.

This is episode 11 of Gunparade March. Do you know what this means?

Do you know what this means?!?!

It means there's only one episode after this one. Not two, like I thought. Only one more episode.

THE END IS FINALLY IN SIGHT. STRAP IN YO BUTTS, WE'RE GOING IN HOT.

Dog Days' Episode 11 - Change My Heart

I just watched this show like, the other day. Yet here I am watching it again. It's like some kind of nightmare you can't wake up from. Except that you know there has to be an end at some point because there's only three episodes left but something keeps nagging at you suggesting that something is just not entirely right with the situation.

... yeah, I've been having more nightmares lately. I like to imagine the bad anime has something to do with all that.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 11 - Drive to Heaven! Love Riding on the Car of Dreams

Do you remember when Sailor Moon had short episode titles?

Yeah, me either.

It feels a lot like they just keep getting longer and longer. I'm not sure why this is a thing. Or why it has to be a thing. Or why it should continue to be a thing.

Let's just leave it at me having a lot of questions and going from there.

Gunparade March Episode 10 - Hello Sadness - Once Upon A Dime

Finally I am nearing the actual catching up on things so that the ol' Mon Wed Fri schedule may return with regularity. Of course, it means I have to suffer yet another episode of Gunparade March to do it... but sometimes you just gotta take one for the team.

And in this case the team is you. And your job is to laugh at me for being an idiot.

Sounds like a good deal to me. If I were you. Which I'm not. Why am I doing this again?

Dog Days' Episode 10 - One-On-One In The Skies and On Land

Oh good. It's time for more Dog Days.

I truly cannot contain my excitement.

The above lines were sarcasm. Woooo.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 10 - Forest of Illusion! Invitation of a Beautiful Fairy

A thought occurs to me: I need to start watching good shows again. Something to help counterbalance all of the atrociousness I keep putting myself through. Something that reminds me not all shows are bad.

Maybe I ought to catch up with Shokugeki no Soma. God I love that show. Instant good feel material. Sailor Moon on the other hand? Not so much.

I do usually want to sit down and watch this show, but it's not quite the same. At this point, it's really just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes for this particular train wreck. So far, it's doing a great job of making me feel incredibly uncomfortable what with the whole Pegasus/Chibiusa thing now.

Let's dive in and get this over with shall we?

Gunparade March Episode 09 - A Day In The Life - You Are The One Who Makes My Heart Pound

Y'know, there are few things I look forward to more than seeing the end of this show finally come around.

I realize of course that this is a thing I say, but make no mistake: I would much rather continue to watch Dog Days than suffer this acrimonious pile of festering puerility. WHICH IS A LOT OF WORDS THAT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I DISLIKE THIS SHOW.

I'm not starting to lose my mind yet at all. Nope. I'm perfectly okay. Perfectly... fine.

I can have ice cream if I watch this, right? Ice cream seems like a fitting reward for needing to sit through this.

Dog Days' Episode 09 - Union Fest

I know I've mentioned many times around here how much I absolutely love Nanoha. In fact, I may even go so far as to say it is my favorite show of all time - there are very few films or TV series I will watch time and again, and short of some of my childhood favorite Disney flicks (Roger Rabbit anyone?), very few have seen more re-watches than Nanoha and it's follow-up, Nanoha A's.

This should tell you why this show enrages me so. It has so many things that I really liked about Nanoha peppered about in it. It's even in widescreen! And it looks pretty good when they decide they feel like animating things. But my god, the amount of idiocy that runs rampant throughout Dog Days reaches what I would almost describe as incredulous.

So of course I have to keep watching it, right? Because this is the Internet and if I'm not bitching about something then nobody is going to bother listening. Let's get the six pack ready folks, it's time to dive back into War And Fun And Profit.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 09 - Protect Mamoru! Jealousy of Usagi the Ninja

Y'know, I was going to write something incredibly witty and possibly poignant here, but then I started up the episode and saw this:

Oh christ.

So yeah. Whatever I was going to write? Doesn't hold a candle to that. And we have an entire episode of this shit to put up with.

Time to bust out the rose-colored glasses and bottles of haterade folks, because this one is already promising to be a real doozy.

Gunparade March Episode 08 - In April, She will... - With Your Musket, Fife, And Drum

Boy am I glad I didn't make any wildly inaccurate promises that were hopelessly optimistic in nature earlier this week. It's been a hell of a summer so far.

So since I've been having a surplus of positivity in my life, this seems like a great time to kick back and subject myself to more Gunparade.

My criticisms of this show are varied in nature. I can see how this could have been a legitimately good show, but it winds up falling short because, presumably, it requires you to understand the source material. Also it is just sub-par in almost every way imaginable. So that makes it the perfect way to just drop a metaphorical hammer on my toe in terms of my overall pleasedness.

I think I should start the show before I say anything else bizarre. Yes. Let's do that.

Dog Days' Episode 08 - Esnart Arts and Music Festival

Man the last week has simply not been very kind to me. It's taking a bit more time to adjust to the new schedule than anticipated. Also, Real Life keeps occurring. It's a thing which keeps on happening.

So I'm not going to make any wild promises about how the rest of this week is going to go. Will I catch up on the posting? Maybe. Who knows? (The Shadow knows, but I sure don't.) All I can say is keep checking back now and again? Or maybe just cyberstalk me in the usual places. Y'know, whatever.

First up on the catching up dockett is Dog Days'. Ah christ. At least it isn't Gunparade.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 08 - Hearts that Communicate! Chibiusa and Pegasus

Man, last week took a lot more out of me than expected. I suspect this week will be a little tiring as well, so I may wind up having to catch up over the weekend, but I'm hoping that by next week everything will be sorted out.

That said, I've watched several shows around here so far, and I've been considering that after wrapping up what I've been viewing, I may just stick purely to Sailor Moon for awhile. Let's be honest, this stuff takes a lot out of me, and requires a great deal of effort that is pretty difficult to keep up. Also, there are other projects that may begin to demand my time as well, so there's a chance I might need to scale back on some other stuff to compensate.

But my crusade against Sailor Moon will not end until it is complete. This I vow. No matter how bad this show gets, I will never give up on it. Because as much as I may take issue with a lot of crap this show gets away with, it will never be Kodomo no Jikan.

And now that I've mentioned this I will have nightmares about that show for the next week. So you're welcome I guess, Internet.

I've gone on long enough about things nobody cares about. Guess I'll get right to business then.

Gunparade March Episode 07 - In The Forests Of Nights - A Long Night

I think I had a bunch of things I wanted to say before I tackled this one, but let's just go over exactly why this is so late, and why this will be the only post for the week.

See, I spent most of my Friday moving a giant television. It was not fun. While I did not, in fact, die while moving it, I was left unable to type properly for about two days afterwards because my arms were just that sore. So that delayed things.

And now that I'm covering for someone's vacation at work all week, I am simply going to be too damn exhausted to keep up the normal pace. So I'm going to be slipping in this guy to catch up to the other shows, and then nothing of value will be put here until next Monday.

So that's where we stand right now. Which means I should get this done and over with and stop delaying so much. Ugh.

Dog Days' Episode 07 - Battle at the Cave of Sealing

There are few things I dread more than having to sit down and watch Dog Days'. To be fair, I've watched a fair share of terrible shows up to this point. Shows that have left me scarred for life. Shows that will make me tell stories to my children about the horrors they may encounter should they choose to stray too deep into the Internets.

Dog Days could have been a good show. I've said this before and I will keep saying it because it's true. It had a solid premise, and actually has a decent amount of detail that can be kind of fun and interesting. But unfortunately the issues lie purely in the execution of this series, and the fact that in order to maintain viewer interest, they are essentially forced to resort to fanservice baiting tactics to keep them engaged.

Last season, a fun little show called Shougeki no Soma aired. Also known as Food Wars. That show is f***ing phenomenal, and while part of me is kicking myself for not picking it up earlier, another part of me is giddy knowing that I can marathon the first half of it to my heart's content.

The difference between these two shows is that in Food Wars, not only is the fanservice equally distributed, but it is also utilized for a good reason. It helps put across how the food makes a person feel, rather than being used merely as a cheap gag to elicit juvenile, puerile giggles.

So now that I've written up a far-too-lengthy intro, let's just get to the meat and potatoes. And I'll try to refrain from making food puns. I promise.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 07 - Makoto's Friendship! A Girl Who Adores a Pegasus

So, have you been keeping up with Sailor Moon Crystal? I haven't. But I've been catching up lately. Once they started the whole R-series arc, I kind of let it fall by the wayside. No longer, however! Indeed, it is rather surprising because they actually teased something that wasn't established until just a few episodes ago in THIS show - the tiny cat-devil known as Diana.

I find myself torn on Crystal, and its development so far. But this is the sort of thing which probably should be dealt with on its own. Maybe I'll try to do a thing about it at some point? Who knows.

Anyways, since it is Monday, it's time for that Sailor Moon SuperS thing. Which looks as though it might be taking a turn for the worse, which is a real shame. On the other hand, I might be more forgiving if it makes brand new mistakes...

Oh who am I kidding? We just know they're going to make the previous mistakes even bigger this time around. *sigh* Roll the damn thing already, and let's get on with it.

Gunparade March Episode 06 - After You Left - I Guess Everything Reminds You Of Something

Oh good lord has it been a very busy last few days for me. I can't even honestly tell you what happened because I don't even know.

Also I seem to be developing a knack for causing physical harm to myself, as not merely subjecting myself to the mental stress of shitty anime is enough for me these days. In the last two weeks, I've nearly broken one of my small toes, and today I appear to have twisted my knee or something.

Seriously. I must be out to get me lately or something.

So with that in mind, let's add a little more discomfort! Because physical pain just isn't quite enough.

Dog Days' Episode 06 - Legendary Hero-King of Pastillage

It's hard enough to keep from losing faith in humanity as it is. I mean, let's face it, humanity has done some pretty f***ed up stuff over the years, and lately it looks a lot like we're backpedaling again.

Now I know you might be worried that I'm about to make some kind of loaded political statement or whatever. Rest assured I give zero shits about that. No, instead I'm just going to point out that we, as a species, do some pretty questionable shit. Such as making shows like Dog Days for 'entertainment'.

Frankly, some days it's really difficult to keep yourself from wondering why some asteroid hasn't wiped us off the face of the universe yet. Constantly subjecting myself to shows of this caliber really isn't helping with that.

Okay Dog Days'. I think I'm ready for you. Or at least as ready as I can get. Show me how f***ed up we are as a species that we might consider this show to be entertainment, and not a crime against humanity.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 06 - Artemis' Affair!? A Mysterious Kitten Appears!

What a week last week was. Between the Steam summer sale and E3, I have to say I am feeling kind of worn out. All the announcements. All the clicking. All the lost sleep trying to snag something that has absolutely no reason to be so difficult to get hold of. (I WILL MAKE YOU MINE, PIP-BOY EDITION!)

It's almost enough to make me want to take some time off. But I won't, because I'm probably going to be needing that time off the week after next. I'll be working an awful lot of hours, and may decide not to post anything during that period. 60 hours is a lot to work in a single week.

So expect July to kick off kind of slow is what I'm saying.

Anyways, something about Sailor Moon. Let's hop to it?

Gunparade March Episode 05 - Withered Leaf - Thursday's Child

So, I have finally managed to go through the trouble of acquiring a slightly more legitimate source for this show, since the discs I got appear to have been, shall we say, less than genuine.

Really with a shiny red and silver sticker that says "BEST COLLECTION LIMITED EDITION ORIGINAL" you would expect a little bit more.

Anyways jokes about Chinese bootlegs aside, let's see if this show somehow gets magically better. I'm not expecting it to, given the crap we've seen so far, but I figure I may as well try to judge it with the best it has to offer. So let's dig in, and see if this show will somehow magically make me care about more than one person.

I get the feeling it won't though.

Dog Days' Episode 05 - Galette Sword Style Record!

Dog Days. I've said a lot of things about this show. A lot of things. And over the course of the next nine episodes, I'm sure I will wind up saying a lot more things about this show.

But y'know, I have to wonder if there's a fine line that should be drawn. A point where, perhaps, I should just stop saying things. Because they become repetitive. Or because there is simply a threshold that, once crossed, becomes a point of no return.

Then I realize that this show will somehow continue to just get worse and worse, and a small part of me will forever wonder: How bad, exactly, does Dog Days really get?

As much as I hate this show and do not want to continue it even under pain of thumb screws, my morbid curiosity drives me onward.

Let us go once more into the darkness. Let us dine in hell.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 05 - A Couple Made For Each Other! Usagi and Mamoru's Love

I want you to know that I make sacrifices around these parts.

Instead of watching everything there is to see for Fallout 4 again, I am here. Not doing that. Watching Sailor Moon instead.

It's a thankless job, I know. But this is how much I care.

IT HURTS SO MUCH DAMN IT TODD WHY MUST I WAIT FIVE MORE MONTHS JUST TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE IT NOOOOOW.

I'm totally not obsessed.

Totally.

Gunparade March Episode 04 - Let's Have Tea Together - Duelist

Boy oh boy oh boy. Just when you think the health issues are more or less over you spend two days feeling an awful lot like you are dying.

I'd blame Dog Days' for that, but the more likely culprit was the dread which filled me when I realized I would have to be watching this show again.

Furthermore, I categorically deny that I was playing Heroes of the Storm instead of watching this tripe. Which is a game I think I hate with a burning passion. Not entirely sure if that's the case yet though.

... why do I hate myself so much?

Dog Days' Episode 04 - Biscotti Summer Camp!

I just love to punish myself.

It's no small secret around these parts just how much I hate this show.

Yet I still keep coming back for more.

It's had some beneficial effects, oddly enough. I've gotten a hell of a lot better at looking at works with a critical eye. Of course, it's also made me slightly more neurotic.

But hey, what's a few neuroses between friends? Right Carl? Yeah. I thought the same thing.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 04 - Capture the Pegasus! The Amazon's Trap

Good grief, we're up to the fourth episode now. I'm not entirely certain why I feel this is a noteworthy thing, but I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I've managed to be a lot more consistent as of late, and from the way things are looking, I have the potential to be even more consistent in the near future.

I'll be starting a new work schedule soon that will see me only working three days a week. Sure it makes for long days to get my 40, but you gotta admit, it is a pretty sweet deal when you think about having four days off every single week.

I am super looking forward to filling those days with things that don't involve me watching something terrible.

So am I calling Sailor Moon SuperS terrible? Well, maybe. It managed to eat up a good portion of my good will towards it so far, so if this episode doesn't do any better than previous ones, I think we're in for a slow decline for the next thirty-odd episodes in the season.

Gunparade March Episode 03 - Summer Blues - Fireworks

Gunparade March seems to be very popular around here for some reason I just cannot fathom.

No, seriously. Looking at the stats, it seems like more people are reading about Gunparade March than Sailor Moon. I find this somewhat distressing. Almost as distressing as the fact that people are still getting led to my idol wrasslin' anime posts.

Yeah, that's still a thing for some reason.

In news of other things that are still things for some reason: This show. I may never understand how it came to be. Or whether it is better or worse than Strike Witches.

It's honestly hard to tell.

Dog Days' Episode 03 - Three Heroes!

Well, as much as I hate this show, I must begrudgingly admit that at the very least, it has so far decided to embrace that it is a show filled with silly fluff so far, rather than hinting at some SUPER DUPER DARK SECRET.

So I guess that maybe puts it one step up from the last season?

Time for me to hate myself some more I guess. Let's dive into this and get it over with.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 03 - Protect a Mother's Dream! The New Attack for Double Moon

Now that I am more or less caught up (or at least as caught up as it gets around here), the hard part begins: keeping caught up! My life continues to find new and interesting ways to get busy, with all sorts of grown up things young me never would have understood like with visits to doctors can calling insurance companies and calling banks. Adult life is so boring sometimes.

Says the guy who spends his free time watching things he absolutely despises for no immediate benefit. Guh.

Today's episode promises to involve mothers. This can only end poorly.

Gunparade March Episode 02 - Do Whatever You Like - I am Who I Am

So, just to make sure I was going to be complaining about the correct things, I did a little bit of digging about some of the content of the DVDs for this show. Turns out, the official subs really aren't a whole lot better.

Also, for some reason this disc just loves to crash when I go turn on the English subtitles. Sure, maybe it's an issue with my video player, but I like to imagine it's actually because the quality of these DVDs is utter shit.

I am beginning to suspect that perhaps it is not worth the five dollars I spent on it.

Anyways, it's time to dive into this show again, so let's hop to it!

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 02 - Super Transformations Again! Pegasus' Power

I continue my quest down this maddening road of insanity, and take one step closer to providing something vaguely resembling catching up.

I think I was going to put something poignant here, but then it floated away. So instead, I'll just let you pretend like I said something important, and possibly relevant to your personal life. Go get that thing I sent you! You can do it, hang in there and etcetera you heroic person you!

Give it another five minutes and I'm sure I'll begin hallucinating.

Dog Days' Episode 02 - Pastillage Joins The Battle!

Why god did I ever pick this show back up again?

Oh, right. Because I was desperate and I panicked.

Now, this marks my third entry for the week. My goal is to get all caught up so everything gets posted at roughly the same time.

I'm not claiming that I'll be able to keep up this pace, but it's my hope that maybe this time I'll actually manage to get caught up so releases come out at roughly the same time.

I really need a better hobby.

Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 01 - The Night Where a Pegasus Flies

You know, it of course occurs to me that I may have made a slight error in my estimation of post counts.

For you see, while today is in fact the technical 300th post (a hefty milestone I might add), there are several of these posts which are not, in fact, content posts, but rather they are, how do we say, lapses in judgment in their non-anime-relatedness.

Which means those don't count.

Of course, this also means that Final Reviews may or may not also count, which will also conflagrate the strange, warpiness inherent in the nature of these posts and their counting. Which is just a fancy way of saying that I've seriously miscounted somewhere.

And speaking of warping things (see what I did there), it's time to begin the long trip down the road called Sailor Stars. (Nice save brah.) I get this strange feeling that this may be the beginning of a steep decline, but seeing as how the last season ended, at least I'm coming into this one with zero expectations?

Let's do this.

Gunparade March Episode 01 - The Visitor

Every now and then, I start to think that maybe, just maybe, my actual job might be trying to kill me.

Slowly, of course, and over a very long period of time.

It seems like just about every time I am about to meet my goals for this blog, I wind up having to work those dreaded 13 hour shifts, and nobody tells me until I'm three hours in.

Shit gets really old, really fast.

I can't remember what else I wanted to put in here, but let's face it. I'm here for one reason and one reason only, and that reason is to drive myself insane. With this in mind, I present to you Gunparade March. Which I may be able to describe as 'that thing Strike Witches wanted to be'.

I hope this is a clear indication of its quality, because the only reviews I could find on it were "THE BEST SHOW EVER" and "WATCH THIS AS A LAST RESORT".

For five bucks, I'm really not expecting a whole lot out of this.

Sailor Moon S: Hearts In Ice - Giving Me The Cold Shoulder

Man. If only I'd decided to push this off until next week, it would have marked the 300th post.

Which is kind of the perfect time to be writing stupidly long things like this? Hour-long specials are, y'know, special after all.

Well, no matter. Christmas is coming early this year folks, because we're going to sit down and tackle this beast, the way God intended: in one, incredibly long and arduous sitting.

Strap in folks. Get you some popcorn and stuff, because this is gonna be a long one.

Dog Days' Episode 1 - A Hero Appears!

"BUT I MADE IT. I SURVIVED YOU AND NOTHING CAN EVER MAKE ME WATCH SEASON TWO." - Me, Dec 2014

 Five months is not long enough to recover from watching this steaming pile of hot buffalo ass. Five years probably isn't enough to wash it all away. But considering I needed something to fill the interim, and it's going to take me a long time to sit through the Sailor Moon movie for season 3...

Well, it was this or... one of those other shows I dropped. *shudders*

I'll take Dog Days' over any of that garbage.

... god why do I do this to myself?

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode FINAL - Showdown! Sound Robots V.S. Daimidaler

Thank god, we are finally at the end of this yellow brick road. Except instead of yellow bricks, it's a lot more like a road made of gold-plated shit.

It's seriously almost impressive how much effort was put into making something so utterly bad. The gold-plated shit analogy is perfect of the lengths which the creators went to in order to put this thing together.

I like to think there's hope that they might some day make something worth watching. Unfortunately, Daimidaler just isn't it.

Time to dive into the final episode. The chances of it redeeming itself are pretty low, but maybe we can get a couple of laughs before it's all said and done.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 11 - Distraction! The Emperor's Sexual Harassment

Yeah. We all knew this was coming. I've got to see how this turns out in the end. It's the kind of show where the only thing keeping you watching is the fact that you're literally right at the end, and you just need to know how far gone it gets.

I'm not watching it because it's good. At this point I'm watching it because it's so unbelievably shitty, I cannot tear my eyes away from its awfulness.

Fly up, buttons down people. We're doing this. We're making it happen. Daimidaler ends THIS WEEK. THIS I DECREE.

Sailor Moon S Episode FINAL - Self-Awareness as a Soldier! Strength Lies in the Pure Heart

Oh good god. We've finally arrived at the end of this line, only to discover that we have a six-hour layover before getting on another train to reach the next station so we can catch our bus to get to the airport so we can leave the country and finally be halfway to our destination.

... that's my way of saying there's still a lot of goddamn Sailor Moon left to cover.

Here goes nothing folks, it's time to dive into the last episode of Sailor Moon S. Does the S stand for super? Sub-par? Salacious? Definitely not that last one.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 10 - Invoke! Joseph's Symbol

What's this, you might ask? A Monday with no Sailor Moon?

Fear not, fine fellows. This is just me attempting to catch up. You'll get your Sailor Fuku Fetish Fix later. But for now? Giant pervy robots.

Man I'm not looking forward to this at all.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 09 - Warning! The Closed Gate

Oh Daimidaler. How much I didn't miss you at all. You're not the worst show out there by any stretch of the imagination, but my god are you just all around terrible. It would almost be admirable to revel in your absolute suckitude, if you had any sort of redeeming quality whatsoever.

Fortunately, we are nearing the end of this unimaginable suckfest. Yes, I just used two sucky-type words in as many sentences. No, I really don't give a shit about it.

Let's dive into this amazing turd festival.

Sailor Moon S Episode 37 - A New Life! Time for Separation of the Destined Stars

Man, if things go according to plan, Monday we will be seeing the end of yet another series. And since we're almost finished with Daimidaler, I have to say I'm a bit concerned at the pickings being perhaps a little slim around here.

I'm sure I'll find something though. I always seem to.

One more episode after this one. However will this wrap up, I wonder? And will it somehow be an improvement from last season? Let's dive right in folks and see what's in store for us today.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 08 - Convenient Electric Toothbrush

In my on-going series of terrible decision making, it is time for me to once again tackle the absurd horror that is Daimidaler.

In a strange twist, it's almost gotten better in the latter half... but not good enough to salvage it so far.

Folks, it's that time again. Let's dive in, head first, into the world of giant evil penguins with disproportionately-sized phalluses. Phallisi? What's the plural for dicks anyways?

Sailor Moon S Episode 36 - A Bright Shooting Star! Saturn, and the Messiah

I have been very extremely dead as of lately. And I don't necessarily mean that figuratively either, the last few weeks have been absolutely horrible for me. I've spent most of the last three weeks wondering if I might, in fact, be in the process of dying.

Fortunately, the doctors seem to think that I am not, in fact, dying, and that's always a plus. And for the first time all year, I actually seem to be getting some of that energy I have been desperately missing.

Now, I don't really want to make any promises I can't keep - I've got enough crap on this blog I have yet to actually go through. Remember that crappy PI movie I talked about watching? I still have yet to follow through on that. Then there's Daimidaler, which is begging to be finished. So I'm going to be taking things slowly, working on new content as I am able, and hoping I don't keel over in the process.

Which might be a feat in itself, given some of the shit I force myself to sit through.

Let's watch some Sailor Moon eh?

Sailor Moon S Episode 35 - The Horror of the Approaching Shadow! Eight Soldiers in Tough Battle

I feel like I make a lot of excuses around here for not doing things. On the one hand though, can you blame me? I've seen some shit in these parts. And I mean some shit.

But on the other hand, a lot of times I feel completely justified in being late. Because you know what sucks? Not being able to use any USB devices. I'm fairly certain you can imagine just how difficult that can make life sometimes. Especially when that problem is the main thing keeping you from going insane as you work the graveyard shift, sitting on your ass doing literally nothing for nine hours on any given night.

Or longer, if you wind up having to pull a double.

I have yet to find a fix for this issue, unfortunately, and after banging my head against the wall yesterday, I'm taking a break. Just long enough to take out my anger and frustration out on something deserving. Like Sailor Moon.

One step closer to my goal. Here's to another mark on the wall.

Sailor Moon S Episode 34 - Shadows of Destruction! The Awakening of the Messiah of Silence

It feels kind of nice to finally have some weight taken off of my shoulders, and at the same time it feels a little strange to me as well. Now that I'm trying to get back into the swing of things in a semi-regular fashion, it's a lot like coming home after being away at college for two years.

Everything may look the same, but there's no denying just how very different you are today.

On that note, I'm looking at the next episode of Sailor Moon S. As I recall it was starting to shape up pretty good, so let's see if it somehow manages to continue this?

PokeMon Episode 001 - I Choose You!

WHAT.

YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SOMEHOW NEVER EVER PICK UP THIS SERIES HUH?

COME ON. I THOUGHT WE ALL KNEW I WAS SLIGHTLY LESS SANE THAN THAT.

OKAY POKEMON, YOU SHITTY SHOW, LETS DO THIS. IT IS TIME TO BECOME A MASTER. THE GREATEST. OF THEM ALL. BY WATCHING EVERY EPISODE OF POKEMON EVER.

The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 19 - Secret Flower Garden

Hey there, Internet.

It's been awhile. A very long while. So what happened? Well, my body decided that it was time to take a break. A very, very long break. From everything not involving work.

It has come to my attention that there may be some medical reason for this. Personally, I think it is my body trying to tell me "WATCHING TERRIBLE ANIME IS A BAD IDEA AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR DOING IT."

But, eh, that's just a theory. What does my body know anyways? It's not my boss. Pfft.

So on that note, I'm back, and picking up right where I left off - with Qwaser. Because I'd really, really like to write about Sailor Moon on Monday.

... oh god did I actually just admit that on the Internet? Clearly I've been away for far too long...

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 07 - Hurrah! Antarctic Number 11 Appears

*groan*

I can't believe it's time for THIS shit again already. It feels like I just watched this a few days ago.

I guess this is what I get for trying so hard to get back on track. I forgot how much of a toll this actually takes on me. That's not a joke either - watching this shit for the most part drains the hell out of me.

I am beginning to suspect that I am truly a sad, lonely little man.

Well at least I have you to laugh at me... right?

..... right?

Sailor Moon S Episode 33 - Believe in Love! Ami, a Kind-Hearted Soldier

Seeing as how I'm on a roll with the catching up, let's get ourselves finally back up to current with things shall we? That's right, it's right back to Sailor Moon! Just a few more episodes and then sweet sweet freedom shall be mine.

Or actually not really since I'll still have two whole seasons left to go through oh god damn it. But maybe they won't be as bad as most of this series was? We'll see.

The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 18 - The Trap of Ouroboros

I despise this show and pretty much everything that it stands for.

Seriously. This is some of the most mind-bogglingly terrible shit I've seen. There are some shows that clearly straddle the line of wanting to be a hentai (*coughcoughIkkitousencough*) and then there are shows that just really don't give a flying f**k.

This show has everything short of penetration and pretends to use it as a central plot device because everyone making this show is just incredibly juvenile. Also super jealous of Index or something because the whole science and magic thing couldn't clearly be any blatant.

I am pretty sure the design philosophy behind their entire project boils down to "how can we make a plot 100% about boobs and get away with showing nipples growing hard on television?" Because that seems to be the order of the day. Awesome fight sequences? No, those have now taken a back seat to puffy nipples hardening in the cold air.

Buckle up folks. It's time for more Qwaser.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 06 - Arrival! Shouma and Kiriko!

I really, really do not want to be watching Daimidaler.

I think I've identified my problem with updating the blog on a regular basis. That problem? Daimidaler.

God I f***ing hate this show, which means the Internet should be amused by this, right?

Why didn't I go get myself some alcohol before I started writing this? I'm going to regret it I just know it...

Sailor Moon S Episode 32 - A Mystic Flower that Steals Hearts! The Third Witch, Telulu

On the topic of trying to get things back on track here, I have to say that so far I seem to be finding ways to adjust my sleep schedule somewhat difficult. Caffeine doesn't have the intended effects, or are at least quickly becoming gains with diminishing returns. Exercise seems to merely wear me out. I'm quickly running out of ways to keep myself awake these days.

Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure something out. In the meantime though, here's the next episode of Sailor Moon S. I'm sure today won't be too bad right?

The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 17 - Gospel of Flames

I've been doing a lot of things lately.

And I mean a lot of things.

Unfortunately, being only human, it means I am sometimes left exhausted after working 26 hours in two days. Or that I'm just exhausted in general. Or that sometimes I really do enjoy watching things that don't make me consider setting an orphanage on fire to spare the children from the horrifying possibility that they might someday watch one of these shows.

It's a fine line I walk, sometimes.

Today, I'm watching Qwaser again. Does that give the orphanage bit some context? Because I'm pretty sure watching this show can excuse someone from a lot of things.

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 05 - Mad Dance! The Fearsome Penguin Flyers!

Y'know, I got myself all excited for no reason, thinking I had finally run out of episodes of this show to watch? And then I realized, 'nope, you actually have the next episodes sitting right in front of you.'

*sigh* Goddamnit Internet.

Why do I watch this shit?

Sailor Moon S Episode 31 - Invasion from an Alternate Dimension! The Mystery of Mugen Academy

I'm hoping that, god willing, I can get all caught up this week, being that I'm a day behind.

That means no more illnesses, no more weird audio issues, and no more 14-hour-long naps.

Seriously, those naps are something else.

So now it's time for more Sailor Moon. I'm seriously looking forward to this, especially after last week!

You've got  a chance, Sailor Moon S. F***ing wow me already.

The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 16 - Pheonix of Conviction

Now that I have finally sorted out the audio issues with my computer, it's time we got things back on track.

I would have loved to start up with Sailor Moon again, but you know what they say - you need to do the things you hate to reward yourself for doing the things you like.

... or something like that. It's booby time people!

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 04 -

Y'know, I've been thinking.

A dangerous thing, I know, but bear with me here.

I've been thinking that, perhaps, picking up this show was a horrible idea.

Shocking, I know.

Yet, it is my solemn duty to attempt to make it through the rest of this show.

Even though four episodes in it is so god-awful bad I wish I'd never even heard of it.

Also, another friend of mine has suggested that shows from the Phillippines are so bad they would make shit like Maris the Choujo look like an Oscar-nominee.

I have called said friend's bluff. Said friend is now attempting to find me a show that is best described as "Orphan Boy Talks to Jesus."

Let it be recorded here that I am truly some kind of idiot, and I have likely just opened Pandora's Box.

... suddenly Daimidaler seems like a slightly less horrible choice for today.

Sailor Moon S Episode 30 - Awakening of the Messiah of Silence? Stars of Destiny

Pretty soon I'll be finished with this season. Two more months, and I will finally have watched all of Sailor Moon S. Then I can move on to SuperS. Or SS. Actually I'll just call it SuperS because SS sounds way wrong.

Thanks to the new anime season having finally started up, I feel that I may have something to look forward to now. My little reward for suffering through these wretched piles of refuse.

Though if Aldnoah winds up getting any better I might need to pick up another crappy show to balance because wow is that a great show.

(Also it seems I have another terrible friend that keeps asking me to watch some shit show called Freezing. Perhaps if I give up on one of these others I may.)

Enough talk. Time for... other talk now.

That sounded smarter in my head...

The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 15 - Anglo-Russian Entente

There's a reason I stopped watching this show.

I am fairly certain that reason was that this is just a really terrible anime. Just terrible even by terrible anime standards. This is the worst kind of prepubescent mary sue wankfest material that anime has to offer. It is, ladies and gentlemen, what I refer to as "the bottom of the barrel".

But even by those incredibly low, mind-numbingly lax standards, it somehow managed to surpass itself in its awfulness last episode by creating something so unbelievably atrocious, I have to readjust my standards and re-evaluate what constitutes as 'stupid'.

After last episode, I should not be watching this show any longer.

And yet, I am going to.

Why do I suddenly want to watch Kill la Kill again? Oh right. Because that was infinitely better than the last episode.

... here goes nothing...

Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 03 - Menace! Fiery Jake Appears!

Once again, it's time for a show which I am convinced was a contributing factor in my acquiring a semi-deadly illness. For real.

I really haven't learned my lesson yet. Clearly.

Sailor Moon S Episode 29 - The Battle in a Demonic Dimension! The Sailor Soldier's Bet

Happy 2015 everybody. I'm sorry that things have been quiet around here, but you see, I came down with a little thing we like to call Influenza.

And yeah. It was pretty nasty. Laid me up for about a week, during which time I could barely sit up without feeling dizzy, much less watch anything.

Then I took another week to recover because bad anime gave me the flu. How do I figure this? Well, see, the flu and I have an understanding. I don't get the flu shot, and I don't get the flu. Because every time I get the flu shot, I get the flu anyways.

Turns out this year's strain gives pretty much close to zero shits about these things, since it pounded the cloistered asshole of everybody, vaccinated or otherwise.

Now that I've successfully managed to casually work in the phrase 'cloistered asshole', let's get back to this thing that I am completely blaming for my terrible illness a few weeks back.

It's Sailor Moon time!