Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 08 - Convenient Electric Toothbrush

In my on-going series of terrible decision making, it is time for me to once again tackle the absurd horror that is Daimidaler.

In a strange twist, it's almost gotten better in the latter half... but not good enough to salvage it so far.

Folks, it's that time again. Let's dive in, head first, into the world of giant evil penguins with disproportionately-sized phalluses. Phallisi? What's the plural for dicks anyways?

So how do we start this episode off, you might wonder? After the train wrecks that have happened so far, it would be a very justifiable question for you to ask. It begins... in the middle of the desert. Strangely enough, right where they left off last time, with the penguins marching off into the night with that one girl.

And nothing of value was missed.

They're also nice enough to remind us of all that stupid shit that happened last episode, and they talk about how it'll probably take two months to get home. There's talk about girl's boobs and how nice they are to feel, and how she wants to kill Daimidaler or some shit and we get the opening all over, featuring heroes that haven't been seen in forever.

Seriously, why are they even still showcasing those two? We're on to the infinitely better pair. It's probably too much to hope that will remain the case, of course.

Then, we get our title screen and.... and... what?

Hang on, I don't... what?

Have they given up completely by this point? Because it's really feeling like it.

So the emprah is all wanting to test out his new... thing. Because there's really nothing else they can do so they might as well get some work done instead of looking at porn all day?

So they turn it on, and it begins to do things. By which I mean it summons a naked girl. And then her clothes.

Turns out this girl is named Macaroni and she... knows the emperor?

This shit just gets weirder and weirder by the second.

Other wo- THE F**K IS GOING ON ANYMORE?!

Seems like our... penguin emperor... dude... is from some other world or something. He then begins massaging his maid's boobs because that's what this show is all about. Boobs. And how great it is to rub them. It sure is great treating women like objects, yep. Sure is great.

Then there's talk about how she doesn't have any underwear suddenly and now we're back at the hero's place where some boss is aggravated at two kids who are totes in love or whatever.

Blah blah boring backstory, blah blah took out some loans or whatever, blah blah here's a new robot for you to look at.

When will this show finally admit it will never be as cool
as Gao Gai Gar?

Blah blah the 'Kiriko' is the best one ever and the kids aren't listening because they are too busy hugging. Blah blah you have responsibilities and powers and shit blah blah nobody cares. Also why is he so mad it's not like they're doing anything wrong etc etc he wants to murder children.

Then those science ladies distract the boss so the lovebirds can go off to explore and immediately get lost, which leads to a crying fit by the girl so she can get patted on the head.

Basically, the whole thing is to set her up for being waifu material with the not-new-protagonist being the audience expy.

They wind up almost literally stumbling into a dark room with some weird machines and some dude floating in a tube. Then they wind up in a storage room, stuff falls and they get buried beneath a veritable fortress of cardboard boxes, which leaves them in very close quarters, unable to escape.

So, whatever should they do? Have a well-timed grope session to escape, of course.

7:27 and I want to kill myself. Well, that's a new record at least.

She's all confused and stuff about how he said he wouldn't do weird stuff to her, then he rips open her shirt, slips off her bra and goes to town so that she can literally blast their way out.

Yeah, totally a 'misunderstanding'.

Please excuse me while I go vomit.

Then they blow up the room, and wind up back in the command center, where presumably everyone should be doing "okay seriously what the f**k you dudes were gone like TWO MINUTES."

Back at the penguin base, they're busy using their new machine to... summon slingshots?

I guess they're ironing out the 'issues' with their new machine. According to the emperor...

Congrats, you have brain damage.

The explanation is that you 'lose' something when you transfer. It could be anything. Cells, blood, money... clothes.

Doesn't explain why her clothes teleported after her of course but seriously, you think anyone proof-read this shit? Of course they didn't why would anybody bother proof-reading something as idiotic as THIS show??

Blah blah he's going to build a new empire here blah gonna need her help and... she's from the... penguin empire as well?

But wait, why does nobody else...?

Oh and then her panties just, y'know. Casually pop out of thin air.

... I do not understand this show. At all. Which makes a great place for a commercial break.

Back in the desert, those dudes are still lost. Haven't they died of starvation yet?

Nevermind, Dennis or whoever will kill them all soon
enough with his sheer stupidity.

Eventually they start keeling over from dehydration. Except the one that gets stung by the scorpion.

... who is actually named Dennis.

Oh dear god.

I'm starting to tell them apart now.

God help me. I am now beyond salvation. My soul is truly damned.

I'm going to take a few moments, curl into a ball, and cry.

Artist's depiction of exactly how I feel right now.

Oh and then something glows in the sky and they all get sucked up into it, onlyt o show up at the home base. Turns out they fixed the machine finally!

It still looks dumb. And has a dumb name. It's dumb.

Oh and Ritz didn't get her skirt. What did everyone else lose? Stupid shit. Except Dennis who is no longer poisoned.

Damn, and I was hoping he'd die. Oh well. The emprah gets down on his knees and apologizes that the teleporter isn't perfect and he took a huge risk doing what he did and blah blah look at Ritz's panties aren't they just great, however will he make up for this.

My very soul is wailing in agony at this show. Truly it is.

Blah blah things can be replaced no big deal sparkles and happiness and sunshine and LETS GO BATHE TOGETHER.

Which is just an excuse to see Ritz naked. And then wearing weird clothes. While being tied up.

*sigh*

I guess this is their 'physical inspection' which involves stripping her naked again. Until the emprah steps in, kicks everyone, and it turns out that was all Ritz's idea to begin with.

My whole body is twitching with anger again. This show makes me want to murder people because of how stupid it is. Why. Why god does this show even exist? Why would you allow something like this to exist? Just why?

So they finally get to taking her measurements or whatever, and they bring up that other girl they lost to. Who has bigger boobs, which are clearly the only important thing in this show. Which leads to them deciding they must figure out who has the greater boobs... and thus the penguins head off on their new mission... to... sneak into the enemy's stronghold to measure boobs.

I need to have me another little cry session now.

Okay. Now this is starting to hurt.

Elsewhere, the two lovebirds are play rock paper scissors. Winner kisses the loser.

Yep. Throwing up now.

But then penguins show up to ruin the day.

Trust me when I say it's dumber than it looks.

They grab the girl, and promptly begin taking her bust measurements, because they can. But Shouma isn't going to have any of this, why his girlfriend is in danger... of having her breasts measured. They really don't want to fight, but he certainly does, and takes Nelson's offer of a card game to distract him and shoulder-blasts him back.

Which then causes him to be hypnotized by a penis.

Not even joking. It's called the "Hypnosis Tail".

Which equates to the penguin wagging his dick in a rhythmic fashion until he passes out.

To be fair, I feel like doing the same. Hurk.

Anyways now it is time to get that data, and maybe grope her a bit, but then she gets all brave and is like "aww yeah grab me."

I hate this show so very, very much.

That's not a translation error either. Trust me, they actually say "bicchu" which is their way of using our curse words. What transpires is a slow-motion sequence of groping and such while she realizes that she just isn't getting turned on by any of this. Because it's not her boy doing the job.

So it's time to rip off her clothes and start with the measuring except Shouma wakes up to...

Kill me. Please. Just end my misery right now.

*sobs uncontrollably*

Eventually his pants get completely ripped apart, Kiriko gets naked for us again, and broseph gets up and looks at her and she gets super turned on and blasts the bad guys. Then summons a giant robot because f**k the world.

But now the heroes decide to ask WHY they wanted her measurements in the first place and they're all "uh yeah so Ritz is insecure or whatevs."

And since she remembers that time Ritz kissed her boyfriend she asks dude to fill out her measurements on a form to hand to the penguins and totally smash some other chick's confidence or whatever.

Back to home they go, and nothing of value was done.

Also, this is still some incredibly stupid shit.

Then he's all "yeah well I know that was embarrassing but..."

I will need copious amounts of violence to wash this away.

IT IS ONLY FAIR I DONE SEEN YOU NEKKERS DO YOU WANNA SEE MY PEEN?

Then they get back to base where their boss it chatting with the penguin emprah who is looking mighty slim, presumably because he's still in the bath.

He says some shit about how they need Hi-ERO particles and want their cooperation but they'll never cooperate so now he is forced to 'take action'.

I guess this will probably involve their teleporter. Also, Ritz is in the bath too because we haven't seen her in a towel enough.

So they reveal the measurements live and she stands up naked and angry and stuff because Ritz has the smaller chest? Who cares, exactly? Oh right, the girls.

But now the device thing is active and nobody knows what is going on so they do a thing and summon....

I'm going to call it Dark Daimidaler. It's invariably better than
anything they'll bother coming up with.

Which brings us, thankfully, to the end of this incredibly painful journey.

I have no idea why I'm supposed to care about any of this. In fact, I'm pretty sure the point is that I'm not.

I hate this show. At least that much hasn't changed.

F**k Daimidaler.