Sailor Moon R Episode 33 - Artemis' Adventure! The Evil Animal Kingdom

After the absolute mess that was last week's episode, and the week before that, I honestly don't know what more this show can do to sink to new depths of sheer "WWYDT" territory.

Actually, that's a bold-faced lie. I know exactly what they could do to make it even more horrible. And what they will do. So I should take back my original statement and try saying it a different way: I don't know what this show can do to legitimately surprise me and thus make the show sink to even further levels of "WWYDT".

And with every passing episode, I shudder to think that we are inching ever closer to the big 'twist' that is coming up.

Oh god. If I keep thinking about it too hard I'm gonna hurl. Let's just get on with it already.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 3 - It's Really Just A Number

Diabolik Lovers. God. I'm only onto the third episode and already I feel this strange desire to start throwing random objects at passers-by in the vain hopes that I might chase them away before they are subjected to this godawful pile of shit.

Of all the shows I'm watching right now? It's honestly a toss up for which is the most vile. I mean you can tell Pupa clearly had no budget, so that should excuse some of its terrible decisions, along with just being super brief. But this? This is horrible on a level I am still struggling to comprehend.

I have never seen a show that only runs for about fifteen minutes. It truly defies belief. I just. I simply don't get it. I don't understand. Most shows average 23 minutes - roughly one and a half minute for intro, same for the ending, and twenty minutes of whatever nonsense they choose to air. Of course this varies some depending on the actual content of the episode - some run a little longer, some a little shorter, but they average about 20 minutes or so of actual content. Usually.

But not Diabolik Lovers.

This show is going to cause me no end of headaches, and this mystery? I may never solve it.

Moonlight Punishment - Observations, Aspirations, and Other Junk

Hi there folks.

Maybe you are new around here. Or maybe you've been a reader for quite some time now. Whatever the case, I hope that you'll take a moment to read this, because I think it's time for me to address this blog proper for a change, considering I'm not sure I've really talked about it outside of just a passing comment here or there.

So, you know, it'd actually mean a lot to me if you'd click after the jump to read what I have to say. (Also it would mean a bunch if you'd tell your friends and family and pets about this blog too. Pets are people too, though I fear much of my humor may go over their heads, I trust your judgment is better than mine though.)

Pupa Episode 07 - Incubation

No. I didn't forget about Pupa. Unfortunately. I've simply been budgeting my time poorly once again.

Don't worry though. It's getting better.

My budgeting of time, not this show. What, you honestly think this show can ever redeem itself after having shit all over itself for the first half and then trying to show us how talented it is by smearing it all over the walls? Please.

I am in a particularly vile mood I think. I can safely blame Pupa for that. Let's get on with it...

Astarotte no Omocha - Because Nothing is More Hilarious Than Little Girl Blowjobs and Pedophiles

Has it really been almost a full month since I stopped watching this show? Has it really? My god. It feels like so much longer.

And yet at the same time, it feels like not long enough.

It will never be long enough.

I think that's also a penis joke but at this point? I don't want penis jokes anywhere near this show.

I just screwed the pooch on that one didn't I? Alright. Let's go over this one more time, and grade the show based on its merits. Or merit. I'm not sure if that's going to be singular or plural yet. I'm sure it'll be at least singular. Otherwise this is going to be a really sarcastic remark in about a thousand words.

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 06 - The Princess' Egg

I am highly considering dropping this show as soon as they get to a point that seems as though it would end a plot line or something. Because jegus-f**k I just don't know how much more of this show I can take.

I mean don't get me wrong, KnJ? That show is just bad. Reprehensible. Deserving of everything I ever said (and probably a few of the things I DIDN'T say) about it. But this show? This f***ing show? I honestly had no idea how bad it would be. None. It has maybe one redeeming quality. And that's about it. Otherwise, this show is probably one for the "never ever recommend this to anyone not even as a horrible joke" list.

Coming into this, I expected it to be bad in a new and exciting way.

I was so f***ing naive. I had no idea. And now, I wish I'd never even heard of this stupid show. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT FOR ME TO WATCH THIS SHIT AGAIN!?

Sailor Moon R Episode 32 - Venus Minako's Nurse Mayhem

I've got to say, transitioning from Windows Vista to Windows 7 (yeah laugh all you want about being 'behind the curve', I prefer shit that works thank you very much) has gone a lot more smoothly than anticipated. Sure, it hasn't been perfect, and of course some stuff got lost because I was dumb, but overall, I'm pretty impressed.

Sure, there's some stuff I'll miss dearly, like the digital clock I had on the desktop. Man that thing looked nice. I do like how everything just works a lot faster though. Or how I don't have to wait three minutes to use my mouse after waking the computer from it's slumber. That's always a swell bonus.

Why am I going on about this? Well, other than the fact that, y'know, this is kind of my blog and I can say what I want, I also wanted to point out just what a nice sort of guy I can be. Because amidst all the screams of anguish and cries of rage, it can be pretty easy to forget that I am, at heart, a pretty genuinely easy-going sort of guy.

... yeah, it's time for some more Sailor Moon. Alright, play me in with your annoying alluring theme song that will never ever leave my brain no matter what and I am kind of okay with that but it's really just a shame that the show cannot live up to your incredibly amazing potential theme song that will never ever change and OH GOD WHY AM I RAMBLING ALREADY START THE SHOW QUICK.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 2 - A Worse Story than Twilight?

I have to say I am surprised at the amount of energy I've been unable to summon in the last few weeks. I must lead some sort of busy life or something that keeps me from doing things like watching bad animu and blogging about it on the interwebs.

Though in my defense, I've also been doing some other boring stuff in the background. Like making advertisements, that whole facebook page thing, playing around with the lovely folks at Project Wonderful (for the advertising, you know).

Like I said. Boring stuff.

Oh and then there was the computer upgrade, so I guess it's been rather productive, even if it doesn't appear to be the case. That said? Let's hop into something whose productive qualities are questionable at best.

Yes, I'm talking about Diabolik Lovers. Because boy oh boy, if last week's episode was any indication, we are in for a real treat folks.

Pupa Episode 06 - Encroach

You know, I could be wrong but I am pretty sure their target audience for Pupa is "those guys who are flipping through the channels waiting for their next show to come on" because it is just so goddamn short. Not only is it short, but it lacks any kind of real substance at all, because it is told in a story format that poorly fits the kind of story they are hoping to get across here.

Bah, whatever. Another three minutes of my life I'll never get back. Or in my case more like a half hour because this shit takes forever to type out. But hey, at least you'll get to laugh. Or shake your head in shame. Or reel back in horror.

I'm not gonna judge. How can I after half the shit I force myself to watch?

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 05 - The White Lily Battleground

Hello there, Internet. I come to you from what might as well be a completely new computer. Being that the only thing left from the old box is the case, power supply, and hard drives.

After more than a year of doing this, and realizing that extracting some of those gifs were taking forever, I figure I am probably justified in this.

Besides, with this, now I can attempt to bring you horrible in TRUE HD*.

*This part is a blatant lie. But it sounds good.

Anyways, on with the show! In this case, Qwasar. Hope you like milk, because here goes nothing...

Sailor Moon R Episode 31 - Our Feeling are the Same! Usagi and Mamoru in Love Once Again

The internet is truly a mysterious place. It fills us with equal parts wonder and sheer terror, makes us happy or disgusted, solves just as many problems as it creates, and teaches us as much as it distracts us.

Truly, the Internet is a marvel that we may never fully understand.

Kind of like how I'll probably never get 'social networking'. Seriously, knowing people? What are we living in the dark ages or something? What happened to the joy of letting computers do all of our work for us? I mean geez. Who talks to anybody these days?

I really don't know where I was going with this. Or why I'm musing on it. (Actually, that part's a lie.) Oh well. What's up for today? Sailor Moon? Okay. Let's hop to it then.

Diabolik Lovers Episode 01 - We Couldn't Even Title Our Own Episodes

I've been talking about wanting to find a new show. Well, I've finally found one. I have another I definitely want to get my hands on, but sadly it seems that being only the length of a single episode, it may be a bit tricky.

Instead, we get Diabolik Lovers. A show about... a girl who lives with vampires. Or something? I'm not entirely sure but that seems to be the general gist. So how bad could this show possibly be, you wonder?

After watching the first couple of minutes, I gotta say the answer is pretty godawful bad. Don't believe me?

Well allow me, kind fellows, to prove you wrong.

Pupa Episode 05 - Tadpole

Well it is clear that I am definitely feeling unwell as of late. Not quite vomit-inducing levels of unwell, but I fear this could change over the course of the next few days.

So of course we need to follow up all of this incredibly unwell-feeling with a dose of horrific anime you wouldn't feed your dog. Actually if you're feeding your dog anime to begin with, I think you have some issues. Not to say your dog doesn't for actually eating it, but you know. There's something wrong somewhere.

Is that a good enough Segue for Pupa? Hell, seems good enough for me...

The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 04 - The Queen and I

I've been feeling quite a bit unwell as of late. I would love to lay all of the blame on horrendous shows not unlike the one I am about to subject myself to, but you know, I think that at least some of the blame should lay firmly in the realm of the North Pole attempting to kill us all.

Y'know, that thing. The thing where it reminds us temperatures below zero exist, and that ice is a thing which gets very, very hard.

But mostly I'm sure it's the anime. Does it say something that I would rather brave the -20 wind chill than to sit in a warm house and have to watch this shit? Because my vote is yes.

Sailor Moon R Episode 30 - Magical Power of Darkness! Esmeraude's Invasion

As you may have noticed, there was no update for Monday. Many apologies, so on and so forth, but unfortunately a combination of extreme exhaustion and a lack of finding a proper show to take the Monday slot lead to the sorry state of a lack of content for that day. But worry not, for you see, I have indeed found a suitable replacement.

A very, very suitable replacement.

... and no I may not be attempting to pick my shows by asking AniDB just what some of the worst shows are.

... yeah totally categorically denying that.

So anyways, Sailor Moon! They've got a full 13 episodes left to completely ruin this show again, so let's get right down to it shall we?

Pupa Episode 04 - Squirm

Another week, another episode of a completely terrible show that never should have seen the light of day. Seriously, releasing it in this format is the most idiotic thing they could have done. You have to be able to tell a full story in a very short amount of time, and these guys? They fail at it. Particularly since a big portion of this genre requires that you have time to let the horror of things set in.

But hey, I'm sure they don't give a shit, so why should we?