Sailor Moon R Episode 25 - For Friendship! Ami and Berthier Clash

Happy New Year! I'm going to ring in 2014 with, hilariously enough, the show that started this entire blog. And why not? There's worse ways to kick things off, after all.

Also, I just previewed the first few seconds and for some reason I am super hype get so let's hop right to it.

HOLY SHIT. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEVENTY EPISODES, WE FINALLY, FINALLY GET A BRAND NEW OPENING SEQUENCE! I'm not counting the start of the R series because frankly it was pretty boring and was basically the original opening sequence that had been slightly tweaked. But this? This is COMPLETELY NEW.

Well okay it's still the same song but hey, at least they realize it is a damn good song.

This shit is complete with Dali's melting clocks and pendulums from hell. THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW THIS SHIT IS GONNA BE HOT SON. Holy mother of god this is the most exciting opening I've seen in... well forever really. Is this the part where the show suddenly gets awesome because, if that's the case? I AM TOTALLY ON BOARD WITH THIS SHIT.

... oh my god why am I so excited about Sailor Moon WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

Anyway this show features Berthier and Ami and... what looks like the potential for some really good animation. Hot damn.

So today's episode opens with Usagi and Ami playing chess, and the first thing that strikes me is the animation quality. Maybe it's just me, but the actual quality of the show seems to have gone up mid-season. Which makes sense considering a 'season' of this show is actually two seasons worth for most, but holy crap it is noticeable.

Oh my god look at that line work, those colors! It's so
very clean! Is this really the same show?

Anyways, I'll refrain from gushing over how much better this show looks now for some inexplicable reason. The stupid rabbit loses the game of chess against Ami (is anyone surprised?), Chibi-usa makes fun of her for being dumb, and everyone thinks Ami is just swell. Then Chibi-usa is like "wanna play against me?" and so they play and of course the youngest girl whoops ass. But then her friends have to leave, but Ami isn't going to cram school no, she's going to the Chess Tower. I'm glad to see that of all the things that have improved with this show, the quality of writing just isn't one of them.

Back over at the Mystery Science Theater (2000, they couldn't spring for the 3X series) someone is watching Koan make her new life.

Koan: Suddenly likable and good at her job.

Clearly, her old sisters are annoyed with this, as is their man candy, so they decide something should be done about it. But later because they have a job to do. A job that kind of involves that crappy star-shaped hologram that they simply cannot stop looking at. They've found yet another new 'Crystal Point", and if you didn't guess that it has something to do with towers made of chess, you obviously haven't attended Kindergarten yet. For shame.

Of course Berthier wants to handle this one on her own, so she's off, and Rubeus is all "hey you two hoes best get on the street and deal with other shit" and they're all "yeah cool whatever you say master" and he's all like "what dumb bitches. They're gonna do all the work and I am totally gonna reap all the rewards".

Yeah because his boss surely isn't thinking the exact same thing. What a moron.

Anyway, Chess Tower.

Gee Usagi I have no idea what might give you that idea.

For some reason, Makoto seems to think it looks like a cake.

... why does it seem like they are now trying to make Makoto appear dumber than Usagi? How is that even possible? Well whatever, because those two have joined Ami for... some reason. I guess they were bored. Ami goes on to explain that the person who owns the place "really likes chess".

No shit, I never would have been able to guess that without you telling me.

I guess the place isn't even open yet, but on Sunday it will be and they'll be doing it with... a worldwide... chess tournament?

Wait. You're telling me someone made a building for the express purpose... of playing chess? That seems excessive. Especially for Japan. But okay sure, whatever. I'll go with it. I guess.

Then some chick who totally isn't Berthier shows up having heard Ami say she'll be in the tournament and doesn't care if she wins, and is more or less making up for her ex-sister having been a real cunt.

Almost as much a waste of time as doing all the work
for some dude who does jack shit around the house.

She goes on to say that they are basically losers and kids who have no place competing and proceeds into the tower which is... closed to the public? I'm confused.

I guess it's not so closed though because now Ami is inside and talking to some fat old man who owns the place and is all "sup Ami, let's play some chess because I am rich and bored and your grandpa was a cool cat". They talk a bit and he learns that she has friends, and he's all "friends are awesome" and she beats his ass at chess, and he likes to see her smile.

But because Ami is such an astute girl, she could swear she just saw Berthier darting around, and casually asks the old man if the place is actually closed or not right now. According to him, they should be the only ones around, and she's like "oh hey, mind if I wander around for a bit?"

Then La Blue Girl finds the Crystal Point and splashes around with her Dark Water.

Dark Water. I just... *sigh*

I guess we should also be expecting Dark Lightning and Dark Love. Considering the theme we have going on here. Well at any rate, Ami finds her way there and Berthier is all "I hate you so go to hell" and all dark magicks her a few times, and is basically all "lol you suck guess I'll kill you" but then she turns into Sailor Mercury and our villain may or may not be crapping herself now.

This expression suggests surprise buttsex. I'm just saying.

Though she seems rather excited by the prospect of fighting a Sailor Warrior, she grows quickly annoyed but then Jupiter shows up with a lightning bolt, and is joined by Sailor Moon, at which point blue there gets all huffy.

Funny, that wasn't an issue for you guys two episodes ago.

She also reveals that she is... a pacifist? Because she is "against fighting"? What? Whatever, because she just vanishes and Mercury is all like "crap I henshin'd in front of her" and her friends are like "hey no bigs, I'm sure this won't come back to bite us".

So back at home, Berthier is all "oh man I got a scratch how horrible". BITCH YOU JUST GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING. A SCRATCH SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS HERE. But this is the point where her sisters show up and are like "wow are you bleeding what the hell, you must really suck since you clearly failed after all that right?" They laugh at her some more and she laughs too and is all "oh please I don't need your help I totally have this covered ha ha".

Then she promptly decides to beat Ami at chess. What name will she use to register? Names are for ninnies, so she just casually uses magic to get into the tournament without signing up for the tournament. Even Koan manages to show up because hey, they're all friends now right?

Koan, new and improved! Now with 500% more personality!

The old man in the front there is all "oh hey you must be Ami's friends how nice, I own this place" and I could swear he's probably about five seconds away from asking them if they'd like a 'private tour' but then the tournament catches his attention again and now all eyes are on Berthier who is winning like crazy or something. Koan recognizes her though, and is suddenly worried. It's not long before it's just Ami and Berthier, and Ami is all "hey let's have fun" and realizes her opponent's hand is ice cold.

Oh and she also decides to use some custom chess pieces for this match? The game commences, but it isn't long before the tables get turned, and she's all like "okay Mercury let's do this shit" and decides to just freeze the camera with her magic ice powers. Of course this worries the other girls who go charging off to a rescue, while the old man is just kinda like "huh, wonder what is going on hum dee dum".

Cue the transformation sequences. And then the bust-in to the room to make a terrible speech scene.

That is an awfully specific number of years... could you
not have just left it at a million? That's long enough.

The full speech is "You're a million and fifty thousand years ahead of yourself if you think you can beat Ami in a game of chess. For a girl who doesn't know her place... In the name of the moon, I will punish you!"

For a girl who doesn't know her place...

Am I the only one thinking that is an awfully dangerous thing to be saying? Because holy shit, that's a pretty loaded statement there.

Well whatever, baddie today came prepared and traps the other scouts in a frozen bubble so now they get to play another game of chess. A somewhat rigged game because she starts with a tactical advantage. Oh and every time Ami loses a piece, she starts to get frozen herself bit by bit. No pressure or anything I guess.

Of course if she forfeits, then she'll her live, but Mercury isn't going to just abandon her pals. Things don't look good and Mars tries to bust out with a Burning Mandala, which just succeeds in almost frying everyone inside.

As Mercury is almost entirely frozen, she gets put into check once again and Berthier continues to laugh at how dumb she is for risking her life for these other people, and she's all "but they are my friends and I must protect them". Oh, and then her two sisters show up to be all "oh cool we'll help you out". But then Tuxedo Mask shows up to ruin the game and save everyone by smashing a piece with a rousing speech:

"If you have no idea what it feels like to be a pawn, you have no right to handle a queen."

... you know, I think this might be the first time one of his speeches has actually managed to be somewhat profound. Because that actually makes sense, and, for a weird change of pace, actually lines up with the larger story being told here. He then leaves and the other two sisters bail on Berthier, who instead of crying starts laughing and talking about how dumb that whole working together thing is, and wants to know why she's the only one who thinks it's funny that she was pathetic enough to think her sisters might actually try to help her.

... sweet christ almighty, that is actually pretty... wow. Tears flow for her and everything, as she realizes she's been completely betrayed. Then she tries to take everyone down with her as she quickly escalates into crazy town.

Is... is this a villain making sense? In my Sailor Moon?

She declares love to be useless, but Koan shows up to tell her sister that she isn't along, and begins to freeze herself to death. But Koan keeps trying to reach out to her even though she's getting pummeled by ice and shit, and she desperately tries to reach out to her sister before it is too late. Somehow, it works though, and she's like "if I become human, will I be able to love like you?" Then they hug and everything is fine and they're like "I love you" and then Berthier gets purified.

I wonder if, like with her sister, she will instantly become way more interesting of a person?

Wearing a tube-top? Yep, way more likable. Wow.

Then they go to play chess at Usagi's place for some reason, and the sisters are all like "yay being human" and the episode ends.

The ending is still the same, but I am honestly amazed. Suddenly this show has gone from being a relative chore to watch to... well, being interesting. The villains at least appear to be motivated by things called 'emotions' and 'thought processes', which makes them way more personable and easier to relate to.

I'm almost wondering if maybe the show didn't suddenly start using a new director who realized what a steaming pile of crap the show was before, but also realized its potential and immediately began instituting changes to polish those strengths and allow them to shine through, while buffing out those flaws.

I guess I can expect this to last at least two more episodes, since there's only two more sisters left. God only knows what they'll have to pull out of their asses for the other 16 episodes. Well okay, 14 I suppose, since the last two episodes are likely "kill Wiseman save world".

Okay. Make it 13 episodes since Rubeus will clearly take like, one episode to deal with. He is kind of a prick like that.

... not sure if I am being lulled into a false sense of security, or if I can actually expect things to get much better..

... or if the show has finally gotten to me via Stockholm Syndrome.