Diabolik Lovers Episode 08 - Endless Hate

You know, come to think of it I think that Diabolik Lovers and Pupa have some things in common.

They're both horror shows, they both have strange running times that don't match with their content, and they both completely miss the entire point of the horror genre, except in those rare instances where they simply come across as just plain creepy. They also both contain characters I could care less about, and waste most of their runtime with pointless shit in an attempt to remind us that THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT (insert thing here).

They also both have incredibly questionable artwork, for the most part. and put detail into the weirdest things.

It's quite the conundrum. One might almost wonder if they were, in fact, two parts of the same show, or at least made to run together or something. I dunno. My point is they're both shit shows and why in the hell did anyone bother watching this ungodly mess?

We begin with the intro. Okay this is promising. They're going to pretend they're a show worth remembering by not giving us any pointless recap before the opening. Either that or they've realized nobody is going to understand what the hell is going on regardless so why bother trying. I'm feeling kind however, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume they've done this not out of sheer laziness.

Anyways, they begin with the bloody dress thing and lots of close-ups of a dead lady. Then that stupid clock thing! Whoo.

Now our girl is standing in front of the rose bushes, and hears the piano playing, so she goes to investigate.

Did they forget this dude isn't the only vampire in this show?

I sometimes wonder why they keep focusing on this asshole. Like seriously, why keep bringing up Brosuke? Anyway he greets her in the usual fashion, making me question if he's just a big fan of The Specials or something, and says that he's super happy they could just have a chance meeting here of all places.

Like an idiot she walks over to talk to him, and she asks who the chick in the purple dress was, and immediately stops playing. Oh and two more assholes show up suddenly.

Don't mind us we're just going to pretend like we were always
just standing here the entire time. You know.

So she asks them what their mother's name was, and the dramatic music starts playing and everyone stares off into the distance. DRAMAAAAAAAA.

Totally worth the fifteen second buildup.

BLACK SCREEN. THE FOUNTAIN OUTSIDE. A BLOOD RED MOON ABOVE THE MANSION. ROCKING SOUNDTRACK AND MANIACAL LADY LAUGHTER. OH AND I GUESS CORDELIA IS BLEEDING OR SOMETHING ON THE MAIN STAIRS? COOL.

Stabbing your mother: Completely worthy of a final boss
theme and dramatic pose and everything!

Ayato is all like "damn, you got blood all over my shirt. I liked this shirt. Gonna lick my hands now and taste that shit because aww yeah tasty. I kinda want more." Then she freaks out and runs off and he laughs and she's busy bleeding all over the house, literally leaving a bloody mess all over, and stumbles into the piano room where Laito, or Brosuke, is sitting in front of the piano not giving  a shit that his mom is pretty much dying.

She's all "your brother is a dick" and he's like "eh, yeah, he kinda is but you sorta had this coming" and she's all "help me!" and he's like, "nah, I'm good." Someone starts pounding on the door I guess and the wind picks up outside and we see more BLOOD RED MOON and he's all "pfft, that's the wind mom, you nuts."

He tells her to chillax because he will totally keep her safe and not also stab her or some cold shit like that because he is a bro. Then we see her in that room with all the jewelry and Brosuke tells his mother that his brother is gone now. No big deal. He then asks if she loves him more than anyone else, and she holds out her hand to him. He smiles walks over and takes her hand and she's like "I love you" and a rose petal falls and he casually pushes his mom off the balcony. Into the rose bush below.

Yeah, uh... no, she's kinda dead dude, that's not how it works.

OUTSIDE. IT IS RAINING. THAT OTHER LITTLE SHIT SHOWS UP.

I'm going to go with 'everything in this picture'.

First of all, it is raining and you are holding a candlestick. With lit candles. Secondly, it is raining out, yet you can clearly see the full moon. Thirdly, WHY ARE YOUR CANDLES GLOWING PURPLE THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS. Last of all, WHY ARE THE FLAMES BLOWING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTLY THAT THE RAIN IS FALLING IN?!

His mom doesn't answer though, and he's like "uh, mom, wake up. You got a hole in your chest. We should find your heart."

This kid is gonna be a famous detective some day.

He finds that she is cold and wet, and decides to warm her up by setting the rosebush on fire.

Yep, he's nuts.

Then he laughs as he stands in the rain with a full blood red moon. Now Yume or whatever the hell her name is goes running off, and winds up in front of a blue rose bush, and says she hates this place and doesn't want to be here. Then Subaru shows up and was all "Man you should've run when I told you to." She asks if he knew about what they did to their mom and he's like "what if I did?"

So she's all "why did you give me the knife?" and he tells her to go away or he'll continue to throw a fit for no reason. And then he swats at the nearby rosebush for no reason and she sees a vision of a lady in a tower... for some reason. And he drops the dagger to his feet, an d the vision ends and she asks if the lady was he mom, which ticks him off for some reason.

He grabs hold of her wrist and he's all "what do you expect from someone like me?" Only a lot more dramatically.

Like I said. Dramatic.

Eventually he seems to realize something and uh... pulls her close after a moment and hugs her even though he clearly doesn't enj- oh nevermind he just bites her neck out of nowhere and is surprised, so he drinks some more.

Glad we could establish there's no reason for any of this at all. Then he pulls her shirt down some and bites on a tit and starts drinking there because I guess that makes more sense for some reason, and then he decides to explain his reasoning for giving her the knife.

Oh. Uh... okay.

He goes on to say that if she can't do that she could always just kill herself. Then says that she can't deny him that. Or her blood. Because, y'know. He's a vampire or something?

Is that a euphemism for something because I feel like it should be.

He takes yet another bite and they focus on the blue roses and then cut to the morning sky. Oh and she's asleep in her bed I guess, but then Ayato falls down on her bed and wraps an arm around her. And tells her to just be quiet and obey him. Then closes his eyes and ends the episode.

.... if anybody understands what is going on at this point, you must be a god because I am watching this show and I still have no f***ing clue what is happening. Or even what the point of this show is. Or why anyone is doing anything. Other than "vampires doing vampire things".

On the plus side, at least it's almost over...