The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 12 - Sword of Fresh Blood

Yeah, so I kinda missed the weekend. Oops. I'll be making up on that I suppose, and probably post Diabolik Lovers tomorrow. There is only so much a single man can be expected to put up with in a single sitting after all.

And let's face it, watching those two back-to-back might actually kill me.

That's not even hyperbole I mean they might actually wind up killing me for real.

It says a lot when I completely forget what happens in a show between viewings so much that I actually have to go back and skim the last entry in this blog for it. I mean you'd think I might remember the crazy twins and the mercury bitch. You'd think that.

You'd also be wrong. But you'd definitely be thinking that.

One again, they are jumping right into things with the resident Gary Stu declaring the corruption of the Adepts and how he is going to 'hunt them'.

Someone whose rack will be exposed in like, ten seconds.

Not that this matters because his opponent is just gonna kinda stand there while he pulls the class rep over and has himself a little titty snack. And I do mean little. The whole class is "wtf" and for some reason, even our heroine is like "what the hell?" Which is weird considering this is like literally the tenth time she's seen him do this at least but whatever. Boobs there is all "seriously what is the point of shitty soma like that" and he's like "yeah uh I'm just gonna Deus ex Machina this shit so shut up because soma use is dependant on the user or some shit".

Then he tries to go super Saiyan, and... the mercury in the room freezes? Okay. How does this happen? Well he says some shit about how it's freezing point is higher than normal. How this happened? I don't even know. Then he runs her through and Theresa helps him out and he throws her out of the window and, well, they're not even subtle really.

Oh goody. In case you forgot they're religious....

She then explodes in fire and screams and melts. He says something witty about witches burning at the stake and the entire class is like "holy shit what" and then we hit our opening intro. So glad all that buildup from last episode was resolved in the first two minutes of the episode.

... that was sarcasm by the way because man, they could have gone all badass with it and pussed out at the end for some reason. Oh well. I guess they have more important things to do, right?

Speaking of which, afterwards they get told this was a Russian terrorist attack.

If you cannot spot everything wrong with this image,
you clearly need glasses.

The detective continues feeding them this bullshit story about how Russia dispatched two agents. An ex-Olympic strength 'competitor' (I think they meant athlete), and a member of their special forces. It's your guess as to which of these two is which.

My bullshitometer is going off like crazy.

Pinkie Pie of course wants to know why these agents were going after Mafuyu instead of the smart rich and beautiful... well, her of course because the world revolves around her. Though he's like "yeah uh, they messed up" and expect that to be all the explanation necessary.

Speaking of Mafuyu, she pulls Father Starwind aside to ask him what the hell was with that cover story.

We blame it on swamp gas. Wait wrong series.

He explains that the bigger your lie is, the more believable it tends to be.

... I am pretty sure that isn't how that actually works. Pretty sure. Oh, and then some girls come to apologize to Mafuyu for... some reason.

You mean sorry for being weak-minded sheep that couldn't
stand up to one of those flappy guy blower things?

Then Sasha shows up to give a rousing speech about how f***ing useless people are who just stand around doing nothing because they are sad, weak, pathetic excuses of life that belong in the refuse pile. He tells them to be ashamed of... doing nothing, and then the class rep is all "uh, everyone was pretty scared so I'm sure it's kind of okay".

So hold on, let me make sure I'm getting this right. These girls aren't apologizing for being accessories to basically treating her like shit because one girl in class gets pissy for no reason. No, they are instead apologizing for basically being useless bags of flesh against a monster that no sane person would stand a chance in hell of standing against. Not without, you know, having lots of experience in dealing with those threats.

... the number of problems that I have with this show just continues to grow at an exponential rate. So she thanks Mafuyu and Sasha for saving their lives, he walks by her and whispers "you did good" and then has some flashbacks of when he was experimented on as a child. But then gothic lolita shows up and they have a discussion about those twins, who I guess got let go because, uh, because. I'm sure that won't come back to bite them later.

At home Mafuyu brushes Tomo's hair and Sasha sits there watching but pretending not to watch while the artwork continues to degrade around them.

Who is in charge of these backgrounds and why is he
not fired yet because sweet christmas this is shitty.

Then Sasha is all "worry not, I will kill any bitch that comes to attack you" and Mafuyu is all "oh okay" and Tomo pats him on the head. Now it's school time again and as soon as the trio enters the room, everyone just kinda stares and is all like "dude it's that dude who sucks on titties" and they immediately want to ask him about being in the special forces. Which one might assume would preclude him from actually being in school  but I guess nobody bothers to think these things through.

Debbie Downer sits down and of course has to add her two cents.

Yeah because that was such a great indicator before right?

She is all "the sooner that guy leaves the better" and completely ignores the fact that this isn't how things actually work but hey she has this 'hard girl' quota to fulfill so she'd better get off now before she is relegated to basically being a gimp again. Which will probably happen in like, two minutes knowing this show.

But instead of having the class jump behind her and go "yeah f**k da police" the class rep is all "you are a stupid bitch and you need to shut your whore mouth already skankface." At least, that's how I read it.

Seriously, that is an expression that says "I WILL CUT YOU."

The mild-mannered creepy stalker backs this up by saying that if she keeps talking shit about him, she won't forgive her. By which she really means she will straight up shank a bitch with a magical iron dagger that she still holds onto because dude is like, the greatest thing since sliced bread to her. Freaky magical powers notwithstanding.

So Hana continues to be a bitch and she is all "call me toilet again, and I will end you" and then pretty much walks off, making the resident mean girl go "uh what just happened".

She then asks Sasha to be 'their friend' and everyone ignores Hana because seriously who cares about that twat anyway. Oh yeah, and then pinky comes over to suck up because that's what she does. He is all "leave me alone" and she's all "But I can't do that why you are too awesome and we have to basically suck up to you now and you totally have my family's support and you should let everybody call you Sasha-kun now".

Okay seriously did the guys from Higurashi draw these faces
because HOLY SHIT DO NOT WANT.

He is understandably freaked the hell out by this and leaves the class even though Tomo and Mafuyu are like "eh he likes the attention".

Oh and now Mafuyu is topless in the nurse's office while they measure her... boobs? Wait what does any of this have to do with...

They continue to talk about Sasha and they insinuate that maybe Mafuyu is jealous of all that attention he's getting and the nurse is all "yeah I wouldn't worry about it" and then the two friends watch him play with that cat he saved from the last episode.

Guess it's time for them to show us the bad guys are doing evil things again. Boobs and mercury and gee I wonder what's going on. We'll ignore that and show you Sasha's locker full of love letters and girls randomly touching his ears... uh wait what is even I don't.

Father Starwind is all "lol you got all the girls wrapped around your fingers" and Sasha is like "dude this shit is exhausting like why do I even" and he's all "lol first world problems".

Even in context this shit doesn't sound right.

So now Mafuyu is walking home alone with groceries and talking to herself about how young Sasha actually is, and how easily she tends to forget this fact. She might as well make Borscht for him again oh wait some mercury chick attacks her whoops. At home, the others realize she's late coming home but whatever they're sure she's fi-

*cough* *hack* *wheeze* *choke*

She equates sucking on her tits as being akin to 'having dessert' and in the next breath asks if he likes Mafuyu. Sweet christ this girl is a terrifying sight to behold. He blushes and neither confirms nor denies her statement and then Theresa busts in with some bad news: Mafuyu was kidnapped by some card collecting enthusiast.

Japan and their weird, collectible card games...

He sees mercury on the card and then the clouds roll in front of the moon and Sasha and Theresa visit an abandoned building to see a naked Mafuyu and one twin and one not-so-twin. She attacks him with mercury and he just starts freezing the area around them and... hold on. You are telling me dude now has the power to freeze shit? WHEN DID THIS BECOME A THING HOW IS THAT AN IRON-BASED POWER. Have we officially jumped the shark and just gone with 'whatever bullshit sounds good' at this point?

But she seems to be a bit much for him tonight because this freezing trick doesn't seem to be working as well as it did before. Not that they're going to explain that at all, but he is forced to stay his hand when the pink twin threatens to slit Mafuyu's throat. Because, y'know. It'll be his fault if she gets 'disqualified'.

So now she shoots out a web of mercury and they talk about 'levels' which makes no sense, and talks about teaching him a lesson or something. Then begins to molest Mafuyu but then that copper girl shows up and they start talking and... we learn this 'twin' isn't a twin, she's just a clone or something because her name is "S".

... how is it possible that this show continues to make LESS sense the more it progresses?! I guess she explains some shit by saying that she took Q and R and combined them together to make her current body. Okay. Sure. Not that this actually explains a goddamn thing but since our main hero is suddenly manifesting ICE POWERS nothing is beyond this show anymore. Oh and in case you were wondering about A through P they also became a part of her I guess. Time to see lots of naked little girls.

They keep talking and she's like "all humans exist to worship one superior one and that's why I'm queen" and that loli is all "bitch I was born a queen that's how this shit works" and S decides to molest Mafuyu with... a stab to the gut? Except that doesn't happen because the girl suddenly catches fire and she's all "the sodium is burning?" which makes no sense because NOBODY IS A SODIUM USER.

But that's okay because Mafuyu is freed and runs over to Sasha because it's time he had another drink from her. He's all "I'm weak even though I threw away my human heart and kindness is a weakness" and she's like "what the hell are you talking about? No seriously like what are you talking about I don't even" and shoves his face in her chest and tells him to bite her nips or else.

Then a dramatic cloth falls on top of them as he bites down and the words "you are someone important to me" resonate through his mind for some reason. Which means it's time for another flashback!

Of her. Flashbacks of her for like five seconds before he stands up to look like a boss, and talks some shitty Russian and is all "my heart is steel, my body is steel, I'm goingt o say a bunch of other shit and turn my blood into some weird ass blade and call it Stigmata".

Okay seriously just stop trying to use random words. NONE
of this is making ANY SENSE TO ANYBODY. Not even you.

I guess he is now LEVEL FOUR and the loli is all "uh dude is gonna kill himself?" and Mafuyu is all "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON" and then the mercury lady gets her shield ripped apart by blood falling on it or something and then he orders Katja to pick up the lady and he runs her through just as she's like "uh can't we talk this over or something?"

This would actually be badass if he were quoting scripture
first, not just saying it randomly.

Despite being cleaved in half she is still able to scream before bursting into flame. THen Sasha falls and continues bleeding again while that other teacher watches from the sidelines and monologues about how it is time for the "great revival".

Then the badguy is all "welp, only one more sacrifice left" while we see Mafuyu freaking out over Sasha, and the end that is all for this week.

... y'know, I think... I think I might actually just be straight up done with this show. I don't know if I can suffer through another 12 episodes of this shit. I just. I don't know if I can.

I might just put it on hold for now while I watch some other horrible bullshit instead because, oh god. This is almost physically painful for me to watch. It is just that bad.

... I think I really need to begin reconsidering what I am doing with my life.