Sailor Moon S Episode 27 - Sunny Skies After a Storm! A Friendship Dedicated to Hotaru

Boy oh boy, here we are folks. Monday. Sailor Moon Day. Perhaps my favorite day of the week, more or less, in that I get to continue watching this show devolve into pure utter nonsensical bullshit as it tries very poorly to explain itself.

This show truly did have a huge amount of potential. Potential which was, sadly, thrown away by lack of vision. What separates this show from Pretty Cure? Besides a decade that is. The answer? A lot. A lot a lot. Pretty Cure had a lot going for it. Young protagonists who, despite being children, could clearly understand the world that they lived in, villains with clear goals and motivations, and, well, actually really awesome monster designs. They had themes which made sense and weren't just hackneyed together.

So here we return once again to what may be the beginning of the end of sorts. Perhaps later this week I'll sit around and slog through another one of the movies... or maybe one of the shorts. I haven't honestly decided what I'll do just yet.

But I'm sure it will be gloriously awful.

That having all been said, it's time to dive into today's episode. What do we have in store?

Evil flowers or something I guess. Also more Chibiusa and stuff. Great. Roll the intro, this is gonna hurt a bit.

I have a lot of problems with Chibiusa. First of all, her f***ing name. It's stupid. Secondly, her character. Your daughter from the future being sent into the past to train with your younger self. I mean who the hell would ever do that? It's not like anyone ELSE ever did some convoluted bullshit like that.

Also, she seems pretty pointless. Last season she had a purpose. Now she's just... tacked on for some reason.

So we open today's episode with a view of the Tokyo Tower, and some kind of weird... shop of kiddy horrors.

Even by PreCure standards this is pretty damn excessive.

Just so happens Chibiusa is buying some ugly backpack, with Mammy footing the bill and Usagi getting jealous because she's a bitch. As usual. Why does only the kid get the stuff bought for her? Oh because she has a picnic or something big deal. Also why don't you already know this? You are clearly out shopping with them, and you live with the little one so you totally should have already expected this.

Oh right, I forgot. She's still afraid her daughter from the future is going to steal her man that will become said child's father in the future.

Everyone in this show is just a plain horrible human being.

Ah but then Usagi gets the greatest worst idea ever, after squeezing the life out of Luna. Another count for animal abuse for our titular character.

I hate you with every fiber of my being you little monster.

But then Chibiusa wants to come too and Hotaru just so happens to be walking by and gets all depressed and shit seeing them all happily enjoying themselves like some kind of weird family.

And she's right. Because they are just a straight-up f***ed up family.

Hotaru goes walking off though, and Chibiusa runs after her asking if they are still friends I mean aren't they? But the girl runs off, and... the two 'grown-ups' of the group talk about how the girl probably has her reasons for avoiding them or something. I'm sure said reasons have nothing to do with the fact that she is clearly possessed by some kind of demon. I mean, pretty sure this is the case, but what do I know? Besides, it's not like they're smart enough to realize this.

So they're totally going to ignore Haruka's warning from last episode. Because of course they're going to ignore the warnings, when do they ever do anything that makes any sort of logical sense? TITLE SCREEN.

Revenge of the return of the resurgence of the ridiculously
long titles... REMIX.

So an evil doctor goes to see an evil possessed girl who is all like "dude where mah souls" and he's all "YES MY LADY I AM WORKING ON IT" and the doorbell rings up above and the doc goes "wait what the hell was that?"

"For the last time, WE DON'T WANT ANY!"

Somehow between the doorbell ringing and the gift being foisted onto Kaori, Hotaru woke up and became herself again and changed clothes entirely and is all "oh uh, is that for me?"

Before the woman can even answer, the gift is snatched away, and the girl finds a letter in the front pouch and decides to take a look at it. It's an invitation to a picnic tomorrow so she better come or else their friendship will be in dire straits. Kaori thinks that people wanting to spend time with other people is TOTALLY UNREASONABLE AND UTTERLY SELFISH I MEAN LOOK AT HOW SICKLY YOU ARE I MEAN REALLY HOW DARE YOU WANT TO ENJOY YOURSELF and her father comes out of the basement all "oh an invitation to a picnic gee how awesome I'm glad you can spend time with people that aren't me because I'm a horrible father that practices black magic in the basement all day."

Well, the context is clearly there.

So now everyone is ready to head off for a picnic, but Hotaru hasn't shown up for some reason, but then suddenly she teleports in off-screen and everything is happy fun times. Off to the park!

They find a big patch of green grass to set things up, there's some photos taken of girls doing stuff and having fun, and everyone seems to be having fun. Except for the people who clearly weren't even invited to this get-together!

Party poopers.

Haruka is all like "seriously what did I just tell them last episode" and declares that, despite having no proof, she gets this really icky bad tremendously evil feeling. Michiru seems to think they're having fun.

But once Hotaru leapfrogs over Usagi's back, her chest hurts and down she goes. Gee what considerate people they are, asking a frail girl to do high-stress stuff. But it's all good since she's fine and then Chibiusa does a knee drop on Usagi's back and roll the laugh track.

Now we find out that Mamoru has a pal that's a botanist who works at the place they've gone to visit, which... I guess will be super important or something later? Because he only tells Hotaru while the other two are busy chasing each other around, and we immediately cut to the Witches 4 lab, where super important work is being done.

Super important.

The professor asks her what her favorite color roses are. Why red of course! What kind of silly question is that even? He decides to go on to say something about how you need to care for plants or some shit and oh hey isn't there just some kind of dude who is a really great botanist?

That is a really weirdly-colored rose.

Sometimes, I do research on stuff before going off spouting nonsense. Sometimes this 'research' amounts to "twenty seconds I spent on Google making sure I don't come off as a complete nitwit". In this case, I learned about Orange Roses. Which are a thing, and while they can suggest love born out of a friendship, they can be used for lots of other things, which is kind of neat. Why the Professor is experimenting on such a rose with that weird purple cloudy stuff is anyone's guess. Shouldn't he just be pumping out daemons or something left and right?

Anyways the takeaway is that clearly there must be a pure heart in some dude who is an awesome botanist right so they will just make that their next target.

Blah blah they find the guy and make a Daimon out of the rose gee what a big surprise. Cue the newly-created stock footage for Daimon creation that we haven't seen in a few episodes to fill in the time.

Interesting detail of note: She clearly states her name is "Ubara". And yet...

Fascinating little detail that almost went unnoticed.

Mimet grabs the new case, and we return to the picnickers wandering through the greenhouse, where they run into Mamoru's pal.

"Dude, not in front of my future wife and daughter and their friend!"

We find out that this dude has four kids who,,,, wait... no.... five? Six? Holy shit this dude has a lot of kids who delivered him lunch from his wife.

That is an awful lot of children.

Everyone is surprised, even Mamoru. But Mimet turns up on the scene, hiding when she hears all of the kids, who are being sent back home by daddy. Mimet herself is even surprised one dude can have so many kids.

Now he joins them for lunch with his giant bento, and they talk briefly about how his botanist buddy is researching new flowers. This is overshadowed by Usagi's insistence that everyone eat their damned bell peppers or else there will be consequences.

Hotaru doesn't seem too hungry though, because she can't remember the last time she had a lunch like this with her dad.

Ah but leave it up to Mamoru's buddy to attempt cheering her up by telling her that hey, sometimes adults get busy and shit, and that instead of moping about it you should enjoy the time you aren't spending with your dad hanging out with your friends and having fun and stuff.

Right before he shoves the girl over out of pretty much nowhere.

It's easy to ask yourself, "What the hell is happening here?"

The girls land on Luna who cries out in agony, and everybody laughs because animal abuse is funny.

Mimet looks down on the picnic, sees Mamoru and thinks he's kinda hot, and then has a bizarre flashback of the Professor which makes her change her mind yet again.

Yeah this is just plain weird.

Which leads us into our commercial break, finally. Good lord.

After the break we find out that they're growing basically every kind of rose ever in the greenhouse. Mamoru asks if Hotaru is doing fine and she claims to be, and we get to hear more about the types of roses that can be found here. They've made so many improvements to the roses! But there's something about that which sets Hotaru at unease.

She's doing the creepy thing again.

Oh hey who wants to see some tropical plants? Not Hotaru because now she is tried and wants to be left all alone. By the way, who wants to meet with Mimet? Everyone else? Great.

I love how Mamoru is all "Who the f**k is this bitch?"

Usagi does not take this attention from another pair of boobs well.

Yes. You should. Instead of a random stranger.

Clearly, this confrontation will not end well.

What could POSSIBLY give you that idea?!

Mimet knocks Usagi over, proclaims Mamoru as looking super intelligent, and asks if he would like to ditch these other girls and uh, y'know. Have a little chat in private.

Lady, you have some seriously f***ing issues that need addressed.

He tells her, sorry, he's got to spend time with his family. So of course she will mistake the girls for being his sisters. After all, who can blame her? I mean, I can hardly believe that he is out with his future wife and daughter either and I'm watching the damn show. Imagine how hard that must be to explain without getting looked at funny.

*spits drink out*

HOLY F**K HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT.

HE ACTUALLY F***ING SAID THAT.

HOLY F**K.

Mimet is, quite frankly, not taking this rejection very well as he's all "yeah so scuse me bye."

But as she sits the case down to rip out his pure heart, she has another hallucination of the professor.

This is just starting to get weird.

Meanwhile, Mamoru has to deal with the fallout of his declaration.

"Damn it why did I say that out loud now she'll never shut up."

Then all of a sudden, Chibiusa decides she should probably go hang out with her friend or something, while Luna is all like "Seriously Usagi you've known that you'll be married for like a long time now so why is this a thing with you?"

Frankly, I can't say I can argue with the cat's logic.

Off goes Chibiusa, and suddenly it looks as though it will rain, and Hotaru is all "I should probably go home." Then the rain begins complete with thunder and lightning, and the EVIL STUFF HAPPENING music plays. Also, a botanist is utterly confused as to what is going on.

Global warming brah, it does strange shit.

Some of the glass is getting broken, and the lights go out, so Usagi and Mamoru decide to lend a hand. Meanwhile, Chibiusa is scared by lightning as she looks for Hotaru, who has taken refuge somewhere.

Yes, hammer that nail right into the glass. I'm sure that will
be a HUGE HELP to your broken window problem.

Turns out that Hotaru lends the old man a hand, somehow climbing up on the ladder with him to hold the board in place.

He tells her thanks, then she blushes for some reason even I can't divine, and he talks about how he needs to protect these saplings at all cost, since they're bred to be "strong against illness".

"Of course! Improvements aren't all about just making something look more beautiful!" he proudly proclaims as someone knocks the ladder out from under them. He breaks her fall though, and then Mimet finally makes her appearance known while at the same time acting all haughty about it at the same time.

This coming from the girl who does nothing but read love stories
and shitty romance TV shows all day, on the clock.

She's here to steal a pure heart so on so forth it's time for our monster to show up.

Oh look yet another almost-naked rose monster. Like we
haven't seen something like this before.

The botanist takes the chance to look at her petals though, and declare that too much fertilizer was used. Which is a nice way of saying "you're full of shit".

Don't talk about her fertilizer, it makes her cranky.

She grabs the man, sucks out his heart, and eats it while Chibiusa watches. She transforms outside, becomse the heroine, and shows up on the scene because there's no one else better qualified for this I guess. Hell, her INTRO SEQUENCE is three times longer than her transformation sequence.

So get this. Ubara throws roses at Chibi Moon. What saves her from this fate? A SINGLE RED ROSE OF COURSE WHY DID YOU EVER THINK ANYTHING ELSE WOULD SAVE HER?

No you don't, you use it to announce your arrival all the time!
If anything your CANE is your last resort!

He says "it's too early to be mad, the main event has appeared!", drapes Chibi Moon in his cape and as he vanishes, Sailor Moon shows up.

What. The. F**k. When did he become a legitimate stage magician? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

Now Sailor Moon makes HER debut which is shorter than Chibi Moon's was, bizarrely enough, and Ubara is told to kill everyone. So throns grow out of her appendages and her head grows a rose, and Chibi Moon throws sugary hearts at the flower's face.

This is just plain pathetic at this point. Both girls get grabbed, but they forget Tuxedo Mask is around who lashes out with his actual last resort - the cane.

Her arms destroyed, Ubara gets mad and grows roots out of her arms and starts lashing out at everybody from underground. We see that her shaking of the ground knocks that one board loose, which falls behind a still unconscious Hotaru, and Ubara is still losing her damn mind while everybody just watches.

Really because I still maintain you look orange.

Then everyone gets wrapped in vines or roots or whatever.

Really? I thought it might just tickle.

Hotaru finally wakes up, all blank-eyed and stuff, and Mimet is proclaiming her victory. But then Hotaru grabs the root and sucks all of the life out of Ubara, while looks very angry. The heroes are freed, and it's time for a Grail Thing to happen. First we transform into Grail Mode, and then we set up for the SUPER GRAIL ATTACK MOVE that takes for f***ing ever.

"You bitch, I'm already dying!"

The monster vanishes, the heart is rescued, and Mimet makes a hasty escape into the storm. Meanwhile, some other scouts finally show up on the scene, hilariously late yet again. Do they ever actually accomplish anything in this show anymore, besides just spouting exposition that we already know?

Seriously, you guys are like the worst.

They all felt this really strong, possibly dark power, and now everything is fine. The sun comes back out, Hotaru wakes up yet again, and the botanists's wife shows up with another bun in the oven?! HOLY SHIT.

Okay guys, seriously, enough is freaking enough.

Chibiusa suggests they should all come back again someday, and they look up and there's a big ol' rainbow and the end.

I get that you guys are trying to use your newly-created characters to help advance the plot a bit more but you might actually give them something to actually accomplish other than showing up to continue going "yeah we're still doing things" all the damn time. You've already got too many characters to manage in such a short span of time, but you keep trying to cram everybody in all at once and it just isn't working.

Also, Mimet is seriously unstable. Just saying.

While not quite the worst episode I've seen in awhile, it definitely helps hammer in home the impression that our heroes are some genuinely terrible human beings.