The Qwaser of Stigmata Episode 18 - The Trap of Ouroboros

I despise this show and pretty much everything that it stands for.

Seriously. This is some of the most mind-bogglingly terrible shit I've seen. There are some shows that clearly straddle the line of wanting to be a hentai (*coughcoughIkkitousencough*) and then there are shows that just really don't give a flying f**k.

This show has everything short of penetration and pretends to use it as a central plot device because everyone making this show is just incredibly juvenile. Also super jealous of Index or something because the whole science and magic thing couldn't clearly be any blatant.

I am pretty sure the design philosophy behind their entire project boils down to "how can we make a plot 100% about boobs and get away with showing nipples growing hard on television?" Because that seems to be the order of the day. Awesome fight sequences? No, those have now taken a back seat to puffy nipples hardening in the cold air.

Buckle up folks. It's time for more Qwaser.

We open today's episode with a shitty waterfall.

Seriously look at how shitty this waterfall is.

Underneath the waterfall is some chick in a wet shirt praying or something. You can see her nipples. So clearly you should be fapping already. I guess we got into a flashback from two years ago where the girl was at some kind of... church... retreat or something? Oh yeah and Sasha was there too I guess. They're stuck in a closet somewhere.

Okay seriously at this point the creators are like "yeah they
were totally talking about having sex."

She was dressed as a nun of some kind, puts Sasha's hands on her boobs and is all "SUCK ON MAH TITTAYS." So he undresses her, seems nervous or something and then she has him undo her bra OKAY SERIOUSLY GUYS. WE F***ING GET IT.

I find your assertion laughably incorrect.

So many euphemisms for sex in such a short span of time. What ingenious writing. What wonderfully subtle jokes. Wh- oh nevermind we're just going to watch Sasha awkwardly suck on titties now. Yeah, that's basically what we came for. See what I did there? FAR MORE SUBTLE THAN THIS SHIT EVER WILL BE.

We get to learn the ins and the outs of how you're supposed to get soma. You can't just suck on the nipple, oh no you have to nibble on it too.

I would point out how incredibly stupid this all is, but by eighteen episodes, I figure that ship has sailed long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Close-ups of nip-suckling, girl practically orgasming, and we're back to the waterfall where said girl is getting felt up by some other dude who is probably going to be fighting later this episode. F***ing hell.

So after getting felt up from behind, she throws the dude and he gets all mad at her for some reason.

She probably realized she's basically taking part in a porn
anime and said 'f**k this show'.

Cue the intro, because there is NO ESCAPE AT THIS POINT.

So when we start the episode up again those two are off to see some creepy bald monk dude. By which I mean Shinto monk.

So, you're telling me this girl went from being a devout Catholic to following Shinto? Either that or the writers just stopped caring about consistency and went "f**k it, Japanese shit who cares about religious crap anymore."

You really can't get any more stereotypical than this.

Hell, they've even got a room full of chanting monks wh-

*cough**choke**wheeze* WHAT.

I think the show has totally lost me at this point.

What am I watching and why am I seeing this?

There's no explanation for that last image. None. Just some dude chanting who opens his eyes and is like REVELATION and then we cut to the corporate office where Douchenozzle and Douche Jr are hanging out.

All the ones who were desperate enough for a paycheck, yes.

Now we're back at that church where Mafuyu lives who is praying at that crappy painting while remembering her best friend's boobs.

No seriously, the FIRST THING SHE RECALLS IS HER TITS. WHY? WHY IS THAT THE FIRST F***ING THING YOU REMEMBER ABOUT HER?

Then its off to serve dinner to Sasha and Father Starwind. They sit down and have an awkward and quiet dinner where they talk about how even if they save Tomo, the gold Qwaser will still be possessing her. But she's relatively safe for now so there's that. They eat up, Mafuyu is kind of happy I guesss, and now they're at school.

She talks to the gimp about how they're totes gonna save Tomo at some point, and she just makes me want to punch babies inna face or something.

Look who's talking person whose name I'm not even bothering
to pretend remembering at this point. Your name is just Gimp now.

Some dude who may be a teacher walks in and is all "hay here's some new transfers lol".

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like they belong in some OTHER show.

Sasha basically shits himself of course because OH HEY THERE IS THAT PAIR OF TITS I USED TO NOM OH NO.

Oh the things we can do with this image. The things.

Lunch or after school or something rolls around and the girl decides to wander off to the temple but not before being stopped by Sasha who wants to know why the hell she's here.

LOOK AT MY BOOOOOOBS.

She grabs his hand and pushes her BOOOOOOOBS up to his arm and of course Mafuyu shows up to have a hilarious misunderstanding.

Sorry did I say hilarious I must be drinking already.

This Mutsumi grabs Mafuyu's boobs, talks about "setting the table" and "satisfying Sasha" and of course Mafuyu needs to know what the deal is here. Thankfully that other dude is here to clarify things by literally screaming it from the rooftop.

And I do mean literally.

I guess they refer to 'partners' as "Marias" which I don't seem to remember from before but okay whatever. This Mutsumi isn't just any Maria though, she's Sasha's first.

... are we suddenly in some other show now...?

I'm sure someone finds this line incredibly clever.

At this point I may just start screencapping because I don't care anymore.

If you have to ask the answer is YES.

To be fair, Mutsumi's reaction is kind of hilarious.

So angry.

Eventually she gets fed up with her dude trying to beg to suck some other girl's tits and she whacks him with a giant paper fan and yeah we are definitely in some other anime now.

Never.

Then some other girl who... I've probably seen before but forgot existed because when was the last time school was actually a thing in this show? Well some girl shows up whatever.

I get this strange feeling she's about to become important.

Ah, that's the... student council president.

... they have a student council? Did this come up before? Ah well who cares. She doles out some swift justice.

Eh, he really did have it coming.

Then... some really weird shit starts happening.

Sorry I thought you were nothing more than a token object to
be used like a literal bottle?

So while dude is gasping for breath on the ground the president is like "Yeah so uh best not be lewd or I will wreck your f***ing shit something fierce have a nice day!"

Oh and... the teacher wanders over to say some shit?

What the f-

Sasha is clearly suspicious of this TOTALLY NEW TEACHER who TOTALLY DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A VILLAIN. Then those two hobble away, Sasha wonders what the hell is going on, and Mafuyu has been talking while the teacher looks on and is like "YEP TOTES A VILLAIN."

Oh hey its time for the token naked girl scene with the president getting totally naked for a school shower. They love these scenes don't they? But then some GLOWY PURPLE HANDS come out of the wall and grab her boobs because that's what this show is all about. And of course she likes it. But then doesn't like it and runs away screaming. SASHA TO THE RESCUE.

Did I say "to the rescue" because that was a joke.

Sasha gets in a fight with Master Hand and Crazy Hand and has to suck on some titties for magic juice. Good thing there's a fresh pair just hanging out in front of him. Then he turns a chain link fence into a sword and we get the first decent fight scene in like, ten episodes?

Oh look who remembered he can BEND F***ING IRON.

He cuts the hand, some dude screams, and it turns out to be... some dude?

Dun dun duuuun.

Turns out some random douche got his hands on one of those INCREDIBLY RARE CIRCUIT THINGS. Weren't there only like, seven of those things or something? Why are these things which should under normal circumstances be HIGHLY GUARDED just keep popping up?? Was not the entire point of establishing an organization to make sure shit like this doesn't happen on a regular basis? I mean, so much has happened at THIS ONE SCHOOL one has to wonder why nobody has figured out something weird is going on yet.

Then that Qwaser dude shows up who is a new student and he's all "yo I got questions for ya" so now Mafuyu is talking to the school nurse about how her boobs have grown.

No, not hers, Mafuyu's. Hers are already ridiculously huge as it is.

They spend the next minute talking about breasts, until Mutsumi wanders in talking about the president being attacked or whatever, and now Sasha and other dude are preparing to have a fight on the roof. Oh and Mutsumi and Mafuyu are off to have some weird conversations.

Dialogue like this just hurts.

Mafuyu gets knocked out and finds herself now topless and lying down tied to a bed because RAPE IS AWESOME RIGHT?

"... I figured we'd have a good old-fashioned breast off."

Yep, because some dude somewhere desperately wanted two girls in this show to bone-zone, the new character decides that who cares if she's currently boning that new dude, she also wants some chicks because jealousy or some shit.

I know someone who would like this image a lot.

Seriously, this just gets pretty rapey. As in, a girl is being literally raped by another girl and we are supposed to be okay with this. But considering this entire show is pretty much an exercise in objectification and straight up sex, I guess we should be fine with this, right? I mean we all know that secretly girls really want it even when they say no.

Suddenly, Higurashi seems like the less terrifying show
to be watching at this point.

On with the girl-on-girl sex. Because that's the only kind of sex they can get away with.

No. No no no no no. No. No? No.

Yep, just straight up rapey sex times which are totally okay because the rapist says so. All for... some reason? We forgot because girl on girl sex. But Mafuyu calls out for Sasha, and other dude is like "oh okay time to get real" and the episode just abruptly ends.

... Every time I think to myself, "This show cannot possibly get worse" it proves me wrong.

F**k you Qwaser. F**k you something fierce.