Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode 07 - Hurrah! Antarctic Number 11 Appears

*groan*

I can't believe it's time for THIS shit again already. It feels like I just watched this a few days ago.

I guess this is what I get for trying so hard to get back on track. I forgot how much of a toll this actually takes on me. That's not a joke either - watching this shit for the most part drains the hell out of me.

I am beginning to suspect that I am truly a sad, lonely little man.

Well at least I have you to laugh at me... right?

..... right?

Give them points for consistency, at least they're pretending to try to salvage this flaming piece of shit. They open up today just like the other episodes, as if they were directly continuing, which is good. The new Daimidaler makes its somewhat epic appearance, our new heroine leaps up into the cockpit, and prepares to DO BATTLE.

I really can't be sure who you're talking about.

The leader is all "eh I'm sure it'll be fine" and fires off an incredibly loud cry of inspiration.

Shit I meant to say cry of lewdness or something.

Anyways the penguin thing attacks and stuff and everything explodes and boy dude is all "NO MY GIRLFRIEEEEEND" and... what the flying-

No translation necessary. That's ACTUALLY what Ritz says.
That's not a f***ing joke. What the actual f**k?!?!

But man that's weird, they didn't mean to outright destroy the thing but oh well no big deal let's just listen to this dude scream at us for vaporizing his girlfriend and then threaten him with his life. No big deal. Oh yeah also she didn't die she just jumped.

This might be the most badass thing to happen in this entire show.

So after hanging in the air for about a minute they decide it's time to roll the opening credits while they pretend this show hasn't jumped the track like an exploding train over a nuclear power plant next to a sea filled entirely with laser-wielding nuclear sharks.

That just made more sense than this entire show and HOLY SHIT WHY HASN'T SOMEONE MADE A SHOW LIKE THAT YET. I SHOULD PROBABLY GET RIGHT ON THAT.

Anyways the show starts back up and the robot is still just floating in the air like it just don't care while everyone, including the entire room full of naked showering girls looks up in amazement.

Yes. An entire room of naked showering girls.

That's a thing. A thing that happens to be shown in this show. I'm sure it's an extremely important detail.

So all but one penguin abandon robot and Ritz is all "FIRE ZE MAIN CANNON AT ZE FULLEST OF BLASTS" so they hop right on top of that. Not that they can hit for whatever reason and then the robot comes down punches the crap out of the penguin robot and saves the boyfriend.

So after some dispute, Ritz is told to come back because this robot isn't meant for this kind of fight so they run away while Ritz declares she will have her revenge later in the episode.

Oh yeah and those showering girls watch as Kiriko climbs out of the machine and makes her next admission of guilt to her boyfriend.

"Well at least you're not a porn star like that dude sugge-"
"Actually the porn is part of our 'training'."
"Oh."

Yadda yadda she wanted to be a normal girl and date people like Shouma who are boring and amazingly normal and he's like "yeah I don't get any of this shit but I REALLY LOVE YOU SO WHATEVER COUNT ME IN". They declare to fight together as one, then they share a tender kiss, and she starts glowing and people scream because PEOPLE DO NOT GLOW AND SHIT.

I dunno that dude was a pretty good example of reasons
WHY the world should have been destroyed.

Though not everything is roses I guess.

I dunno so far they're a million times more tolerable than
that last douche you were just idolizing.

Over at the Penguin Palace, however, they're all like "man, this thing might be a problem we should do something." Back over at the other place, we find out that... there are two other candidates for the Daimidaler? But they picked Kiriko because.... her name is first alphabetically.

... oh.

Also, that short one keeps wanting to f**k everyone for some reason.

Okay your weird fascination about getting people into bed
is getting kind of weird.

And since that boyfriend is here now is the time to bounce boobs in his face and stuff to make him feel nervous about being in A SECRET BASE. Then they get all lovey dovey and start hugging and stuff, and the scientists make an incredibly astute observation.

And thank god for that, he was a horrible excuse for a human being.

So while they discuss some incredibly stupid new cockpit modes we flip back over to the Penguin base where repairs are being made on the robot from earlier. Also upgrades. Also Ritz ice skating. And now we're back to the school which is also under repair and I guess the boss gets angry at his phone or whatever and picks up the weird couple after class.

 I guess they're late or whatever and he's mad oh who gives a flying f**k. Nobody gives a shit. This scene is stupid filler. They don't even pretend that it isn't.

But then a robot shows up and it's commercial time hope you like naked girls. Also ROBOTS.

MORE ROBOTS.

For some reason they're going for an Eva aesthetic. They pick an abandoned area to fight, and then the new Daimidaler shows up to kick butt immediately after. Welp, time for Kiriko to grind it into dust. But first the pre-fight smack talk about how the new upgrades are suited to fighting Daimidaler here I have a barrier you can't punch through blah blah bl-

... annnnd there goes my brain. It's gone.

Anyways it's time for that payback or whatever go new flying mode giant penguin robot thing. It spins like a top, creates a tornado, and slams into Daimidaler. Oh no. They get blown back. What a tragedy. Whatever will they do about this.

Also they make a shitty joke about morning sickness again, because I guess they're avoiding Ritz getting sick from spinning around by not having her in the robot this time.

So now what are our heroes going to do? Well, get battered around a bit. Kiriko decides to go on the defensive for a bit until their boss tells them to get sickeningly in love and shit to power up the super special attack.

Talk about being forward.

Blah blah you must do perverted things for the sake of humanity better get down to it.

Amazing. I seem to have found the part of me that hated this
show again. It was right there all along, inside my heart.

Dude freaks out there because this is unlike his pure and innocent girlfriend and this isn't what he wants so whatever will he do. Oh I know, let's declare that we will never defile his girlfriend in that manner.

This isn't a mistranslation. This is actually correct.

Again, whatever will they do? Oh well penguin robot attacks whatever they get tossed into the air and prepare to blow Daimidaler out of the sky. They get hit and stuff, and explode some, but it's not destroyed yet. What will the boy do? How can he excite his girl? Oh, by... by....

... oh god kill me now please.

Nobody should ever have to see this.
EVER.

This... works... and they charge up... oh god.

Just end it now please. For the sake of all that is holy just finish the goddamn robot off.

But they can't because Kiriko won't stabilize.... for some stupid reason.

This is so incredibly dumb I can't even.

Oh no the girl went into shock or something from not seeing his schlong.

That doesn't make it any less painful to witness.

Dude decides to finally do something about this though, and so he.... pilots the robot which is powered up and uses a finishing punch to break the top's tip and then beat the hell out of the robot.

Except it's not. It's really, really not. If you have to insinuate
your show is "so bad it's good", your show is just bad.

The logic behind this entire show is so f***ing stupid I can't even deal anymore. They FINALLY decide to get to the actual finishing move and they get to it.

The final attack is oddly reminiscent of the Goldion Hammer in that their arm gets to be a much bigger arm and they charge up for the final punch attack. The Penguin robot launches itself at Daimidaler but it's really just leaping to its death. Jesus, they're even ripping off the GaoGaiGar final attack thing, and the sky explodes.

You are winner, so on and so forth, Daimidaler so amazing blah blah blah.

Then the couple hugs and they're all 'yay we won'.

Also leader dude is hopeful they can beat the Penguin Empire and also super mad at how annoying they are but really aren't all that annoying whatever go forth stupid robot and win.

Night time at the palace. Penguin Emperor is all "well we already won" and we see their other mech kind of glowing or whatever and the episode ends.

Sweet merciful god. I never should have thought that this show might ACTUALLY get better.

What in the hell was I even thinking.