Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 20 - The Fated Partner? Makoto's Innocence

Oh Sailor Moon. The show that started it all. The one thing in every weekly lineup I look forward to, because it's the kind of bad I've grown sort of attached to.

It took me a very long time before I finally understood why people love this show so much. It's bad, and they know it's bad. But it's the kind of so predictably bad and outright ridiculous that you can just look back and laugh at it, and then forget whatever message it was they were desperately trying to push across because you can't take very seriously an enemy that is a giant freaking ball.

It's Sailor Moon. The hell were you expecting by now?

Hey. You know what we haven't had in awhile in this show?

A dance party.

Guess what this episode is all about?

Hint: It's a dance party.

Oh, and Makoto falls in love with that Tiger dude and literally nobody notices anything wrong.

And today's enemy? Looks like we're up against mother f***ing GAMBIT. Y'know, that card-throwing asshole X-Man from Louisiana?

It's going to be a fun one. Roll the intro sequence, grab your popcorn and please place your tray and seat in the correct upright position. We're going in hot.

At twenty episodes in, out of a total of 39, it feels like this holding pattern really can't last much longer. We've got four whole other bosses we're supposed to be encountering after all, and we haven't caught a single glimpse of them outside of the intro since we started this season! Something's gotta give.

Which also reminds me - today's episode goes from intro straight into the title card sequence. This is a departure from the norm. Oh holy crap, are we going to see the end of Tiger's Eye finally? Is that why I didn't see a monster? Color me excited.

The first thing we see?

Awww who's a friendly fella? You're a friendly fella!

I missed the fire eye crow thing. I always called it an eye bat, but I guess the wings are more bird than bat. Not that it makes any sense whatsoever, I mean literally it's three different elements lazily photoshopped together to make a 'creature' which we rarely see from any other angle. Wasn't the 90's a wonderful time to be alive?

But then it glows with MAGICAL LIGHT. We see Sailor Moon being caged, a city on fire and... uh.

Seriously? 3D? I can't for the life of me remember if you're
actually trying to make me take you seriously, or if you've
actually given up on that by now.

Looks like the grand poobah is viewing one of their latest in a string of failures, and for once, ol' Baba Yaga has been given animation that hasn't been part of the stock archive from episode one.

Is someone finally waking up to the realization of how useless
hi-er, her? - minions are?

The disgusting bug creature wants to know when the HELL they are finally going to wrap this season up so he can cash his check and live off the sweet residuals that will roll in over the next decade or two.  But you know, the Amazon Trio come up with a pretty solid defense overall. They keep looking at dream after dream after dream, and not a single one happens to be the one they're looking for. They've gotten a pretty raw deal, and are literally doing the best that they can. Sure, they always get beat, but they haven't been able to get a single lead this entire time, so really, is that honestly their fault?

Of course, looking back, yes, yes it is their fault because they should have recognized a very distinct pattern of behavior by now, but hush you, this is anime. They won't think about these things for another fifteen to twenty years.

To be completely fair, you have given them a nigh-impossible
task to achieve. How the hell did you 'capture' Pegasus in the first place?

So after their relatively brief tongue-lashing, they head to the bar and drink away their sorrows.

Holy shit stop the presses! The bar has a FLOOR. And a distinct
COUNTER IN IT TOO! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!

Not only are we seeing the scene from new angles, it seems like despite keeping the same themes and concepts, they're throwing out all of the old stock footage. Well, not all of it, but a lot of it. They complain that all their targets are love-starved college girls, and Tiger's Eye decides to take the mass appeal approach for once.

Got to admit, he's not wrong about this? I mean, if he keeps
trying he's bound to succeed once in awhile.
He's totally wrong about the attractive bit though...

Fish Eye doesn't seem to have a problem with this approach. Carrots on the other hand...

They're good for your eyesight you dingbat!

Hawk's Eye seems skeptical, and we seem to have only two camera angles to work from in order to save on the budget, but at least the characters are being animated, even if they are also filling up 75% of the screen. Then Tiger's Eye walks off with a skip in his step, and drops one of the photos which the others take a look at.

What a tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest.

It is now daytime and in Tokyo there are all kinds of street fairs going on. Or maybe it's a school festiv-

HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING MAKOTO.

You now have my full, undivided attention.

Oh no. Not at all. I think it looks lovely. *swoon*

Not pictured here: Winners.

So, this is a college fair thing? I'm sorry. I'm too busy looking at Makoto to pay attention to whatever shitty contrived reasons they may have come up with to show up at an event they are clearly too young for. Especially the tiny sugar fairy. But who cares? Have you seen that dress Makoto is rocking? Holy Moses.

Then some other people who aren't Makoto show up.

Yeah that's great, I know one of you will be important later,
in that you'll be totally useless, but glad you're here too I guess.

Blah blah boring conversation about how they're going to a dance party STOP DENYING MY ABILITY TO ADMIRE THAT INCREDIBLY LOVELY DRESS MAKOTO IS WEARING. SERIOUSLY. THAT THING IS GORGEOUS. HOW THE HELL DID SHE EVEN MANAGE TO COME ACROSS IT.

No seriously, I am fairly certain she lives alone. So how the hell did she get her hands on it?

The Mamoru says something about this being the college he goes to, and suddenly a few things make sense. Except the part where he managed to convince the staff to let in five high school girls and a kid whose age is still in the single digits. Even though she's technically like, what, 600 something? F**k it I am NOT going there again. None of this is related to Makoto and her dress so we will just move it along.

Currently speaking: Sir Going Home Alone-san.

Oh no sometimes people who meet at these things get married. Stop giving tiny future children ideas you sick bastard!

You are a tiny sugar child and nobody cares, also your hair is dumb.

Also this is the place where that dude met that Reika chick? I remember her name but not her face so she must not have been very important.

Also, she's not Makoto so I don't care anymore because Makoto.

They take some time to rib him, nobody mentions the weird way his sister is dressed,  and frankly I just want to slap the bitch out of Usagi for having the audacity to continue obscuring the wonderful dress Makoto is wearing from the audience, because THAT IS A CRIME.

Even when she's not trying, Usagi is a bitch. Also, her future
daughter just lost all her hair color. Huh.

Sometimes, certain details don't manifest themselves until you look at a still frame very carefully. I guess the shock of thinking about people getting married at some point in the future was too much for poor Chibi-usa, whose hair has gone pure white.

Then they all walk off, Makoto looks at a poster for the dance and starts daydreaming.

Seriously those are some very lovely earrings.

... and then there was a disco.

Nope, not even joking. It's a f***ing disco. Complete with flashing lights, gaudy music, and people shaking around like idiots. Also discount Dancing in the Dark playing in the background.

Such disco.

Not everyone is having a great time though. Which is unfortunate.

Seriously with a dress like that? F**k the mainstream, they suck.

Ami notices that someone looks a little miserable, and I can only imagine it's because they went with the completely wrong f***ing dance party this time. Every other dance party in this show? A VERY FORMAL F***ING OCCASION. So what's Makoto do? Get all dolled up for a big fancy shindig, and then they pull this shit on her.

I'd be miserable too if I put all that effort in FOR NO GOOD F***ING REASON.

The color filters in this scene are f***ing obnoxious.

So Ami asks Makoto for a dance, knowing full well that you do not disco in heels like that. Ami is what we refer to in the business as "a bitch".

They head off to the floor and steal the show because OH NO TWO GIRLS DANCING WHAT A SCAND-

Holy f**k Makoto got some mad ups. Like, sweet Christmas
did she take some lessons from Haruka?!

Then Tiger's Eye shows up, sees Makoto and is like, "huh, didn't see her photo in the bunch, but hell, she's the only one dressed up like me so she must be pretty fab".

That's code talk for "She'll make this suit look FAAAAB."

Tiger's Eye is sick of the discount Bruce Springsteen though, and snaps his fingers so the lights stop inducing seizures and the music goes silent because NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT ANYMORE. I never thought I'd say this, but thank you Tiger's Eye. Thank you.

Now everyone is confused but Tiger's Eye muscles his way in through the crowd and is like "YO LET'S DANCE LADY". I'm sure nobody in this crowd recognizes him. Yep, not a single person. Not a one. No one here could possibly ever recognize him from anywhere at all.

I have the sparkles so clearly you can trust me not to creep.

Makoto is star struck, and ballroom music like what we're used to plays as the entire crowd just lets these two people dance.

Nobody. At. All.

Anyways they get to dancing.

Finally we can admire this dress in REAL light.

WHOA HAND PLACEMENT THERE BUDDY. TOO LOW.
MOVE THAT UP A BIT.

So despite the sparkles clearly indicating his non-creep factor, dude is totally grabbing dat ass the entire time. Because he's a creep. Not that anyone is really surprised by this.

Also now they're dancing in some magical bullshit world where she is now wearing a WORSE dress.

Ew ew ew ew ew. Seriously, her real dress was much nicer!

They recycle the same animation but with a pallette swap on the dress, which means they literally made the exact same dancing animation twice in a row. That, my friends, is some hilarious budget cutting techniques. She is happy to be dancing with this guy and thinks he'd make for decent boyfriend material, then they do the dancing animations some more and then it ends and everyone wants to dance with this dude.

Bitches ain't even close to fine enough.

This is all part of his grand scheme of course, because now nobody is paying attention to that other girl in the dress. I'm no expert on Asian culture, but I do believe this is how most multiple homicides start.

Mother fucker, no, you just used Tuna to catch Catfish.

Makoto isn't quite finished though, and uh, tries to get his attention again.

Yes, call the tallest girl in the room 'shrimp'. Also, Chibi-usa's
hair is losing its color again.

She asks him for another dance, and he's like "sure later" and gets dragged off by ladies while all of Makoto's friends are like "lolol someone's in looooove".

Then they go outside, have lunch without her, and Mamoru is like "wait what do you mean we left her behind during the last cut, what the f**k is wrong with us?!"

You'd think he would have known this, what with having
BEEN THERE.

Also Mina points out that Makoto has that "like senpai" thing going so maybe it was a stupid idea to ditch her between changing the scene. Whoops! Don't worry though. They've sent their top agent to go and extract her.

Seriously, don't make me point out what terrible parents
Mamoru and Usagi are again.

Mamoru decides maybe they should all go look for the girls because leaving a child unattended at a college is literally one of the most criminal things they could have done.

But now the party is over, and guess who is still standing around waiting? A lady waiting for a dude surrounded by a gaggle of girls who winds up being all "wow you're still here?"

This of course makes Chibi-usa mad. He finds himself in a dilemma however. He now has two conflicting promises to keep, but Mako takes the high road and says she'll wait until he's finished with all those other girls.

Any other villain would be glad to let her jump aboard the
d-train.

He says he'll see her later, and everyone else walks up and are like "wow what a dick". Somehow, Mina still doesn't recognize the dude she was dating a few weeks back. This is not something you would forget, and yet she does. Constantly. She calls him a heartless freak, but Mako is like "dude at least he remembered who I was so that's something!"

Yet none of you remember him... sigh.

But hey, the festival continues tomorrow so she can come back then, right? No? Oh, then they just leave her to stand there all f***ing night.

Then it rains and it is night, and Chibi-usa chats with a horned horse to be like "the hell is up with all of this?"

Pegasus gives her the "love at first sight" bullshit, and she's like "oh I guess that makes sense". Then she thinks about him and is like, "OH, I MUST BE IN LOVE TOO I GUESS. WOW. THAT ISN'T WEIRD AT ALL BEING IN LOVE WITH A MYTHICAL CREATURE THAT IS SO FAR REMOVED FROM HUMANITY IT REALLY ISN'T EVEN FUNNY."

The horror of what I just wrote is not lost on me. I may not sleep for a week because of this. Oh my god.

NONONONONONONONONONONO.

He also says that there are times when people fall in love and can't see anything else around them, which seems to be that thing happening to Makoto every time someone reminds her of senpai. Then Usagi screams from downstairs, and the little brat comes to find out that oh no, Mako hasn't come home! Which is a surprise because who would know this? I mean, doesn't she live alone?

But hey, look, over there! It's a commercial break! That way the writers can distract you from everything and hope you don't notice when we suddenly, and inevitably, return to Makoto at the college or something.

Upon return from the break, Mamoru's hot rod pulls up to the school with Usagi and the brat, and oh look, they're like "SERIOUSLY MAKOTO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, IT IS RAINING AND THERE IS NOBODY HERE. ALSO. DOES THIS SCHOOL NOT HAVE SECURITY?"

Makoto. I love you, but for the love of god woman. You. Need.
To. Stop. Acting. So. F***ing. Idiotic.

Usagi is saying reasonable shit again. Someone's smoking
some really dank buds somewhere.

Makoto continues to say things that has everyone convinced that she has finally lost her god damned mind. There is no way anyone could be like this and NOT think their friend has completely f***ing lost it.

Seriously. She's done lost it.

She starts dancing in the rain, and remembering the dance from earlier, and the other three are like "oh my god, we're about to lose one of the Sailor Scouts due to mental instability aren't we?"

But Usagi points out that if Mako sticks around all night, she'll probably get sick. Or arrested. Or something. And then somehow magically those other girls show up too.

Seriously how the f**k did you even get here?!

At this point, I am convinced everyone has lost their mind because instead of dragging their friend away, they decide THEY ARE ALL GOING TO SIT HERE ALL NIGHT. WAITING FOR SOME DUDE WHO DITCHED THEIR BEST FRIEND. A DUDE WHO MADE A FLIPPANT PROMISE WHILE SURROUNDED BY SIX OTHER GIRLS.

You are clearly not his first priority. You aren't even a priority. ALL OF YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THIS. BUT YOU DO NOT.

WHY DID YOU EVEN COME THEN?!

I guess they up and outie, and then it is now the next day and dudebro comes back hunting for more girls I guess? Also there's a beauty contest?

Fish Eye? Is that you? Did you sneak back into the human world?

Oh and number 13? GUESS WHO IS A WINNER. It is that person who looks distressingly a lot like Fish Eye.

Oh good, it's intentional and not just me going crazy.

So Tiger's Eye is like "the f**k?!" and pushes through the crowd to yell at him on stage for dressing up like a lady.

What is going on anymore?

Tiger's Eye seems very confused, and then Usagi and mini-Usagi are walking by to get Mako some food. But whoa, look at who is meeting up over there! You just know they've gotta snoop to see what's up.

Turns out, Fish Eye is here because someone left a photo behind. And we all know whose photo that is. But, y'know, what with having a memory like a gold fish, somebody forgot what they actually came here to do and sort of accidentally entered and WON a random beauty contest.

Not gonna lie, I actually laughed at the absurdity of it all, because it makes perfect sense with their personalities.

As much as Fish Eye terrifies me, I'm starting to think he might just be my favorite of the three. He really doesn't care about his job all that much.

Anyways, Tiger's Eye recognizes Mako from the photo, then proclaims how great with the ladies he is.

And we have no reason to doubt you what with your 5% win rate
across the entire season so far, right?

What I find interesting is that, somehow, all of those girls seem to have been presumably murdered, and nobody has noticed yet. Because that's what happens to girls when they don't have what he wants, remember? Anyways, Usagi crushes the food she was carrying, and Fish Eye is all "TOTALLY SUBTLE SEXUAL INNUENDO."

TOTALLY SUBTLE.

The girls decide this won't stand, but both of their enemies vanish before they can do anything.

Meanwhile, all the other girls are sleeping when Tiger's Eye shows up and is like "oh man, you waited, I'm super glad" and Mako is like "yay" and all the other girls clearly have a look of "what the f**k" on their faces, despite having clearly just been asleep moments ago.

He didn't, but work made him.

Then they walk off, he says something about her being wonderful, and suddenly he begins to have an attack of the feels because Makoto is legitimately a very good catch ESPECIALLY FOR A ROTTEN ASSHOLE LIKE HIM. SERIOUSLY YOU DO NOT DESERVE HER. AUGH.

I've been wondering that myself.

Mako is taken aback by his angry outburst, and then Fish Eye pops out and yells at both of them, and then everyone is like "THE F**K IS THIS." And then Fish Eye transforms and... wait, whaaa? WHY FISH EYE. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING. DUDE IS CLEARLY NOT F***ING THIS UP YET. WHY.

But Mako gets put on a board and nobody does anything to stop it, and then Fish Eye... catches the other three girls in a net.

WHY HAVE YOU NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE? YOU ARE STARTING TO SEEM LIKE THE MOST COMPETENT MEMBER OF YOUR GROUP SUDDENLY.

Then Fish tells Tiger to hurry up, Mako is like "aww man seriously did I fall for this?" and dude transforms and she's like "F**K I FELL FOR THIS LIKE MINA DID WHY DID SHE NOT WARN ME ABOUT THIS LIKE A GOOD FRIEND" and they play the sappy tragic violins as he UNVEILS HIS TRUE FORM.

At least me makes a pretty good point.

Yeah that kind of was the dumbest thing she's ever done.

So he has a look inside her chest dream, and those other two girls show up and transform. SURE HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE. JERK. BECAUSE SOME GIRLS ARE GONNA BEAT YOU UP FOR THIS.

He's kind of sad about the no Pegasus thing, and Fish Eye is like "welp lets just clean up and go home". But then somehow those other two girls climbed up on a thing and are yelling at them so it's time to stare at that. Today's message of anger is over tromping over a woman's feelings of love at first sight so prepare for some butt stomping.

Somehow, he is surprised that they managed to show up. But Tiger's Eye isn't really feeling this anymore, and he's just going to go home, and Fish Eye should too. But Fish Eye doesn't like the idea of just leaving them here like this? Tiger on the other hand, well... he just doesn't want to deal with this, and would really prefer it if Fish Eye would just leave with him?

He leaves, and Fish Eye is like "dafuq" and summons a monster anyways.

Oh. Looks like we are fighting Gambit. Maybe.

Welcome to hell. Population: This guy.

This Guy.

Fish Eye ollies the f**k out, and we learn this guy is even more disturbing than we thought.

Way more.

You can never unsee this.

Or this.

Then he throws cards, and they seem to cut through anything. More cards, more things getting cut. Those other girls drag their pal off, and the main characters are like "uhhhh" and then he just goes full on weird.

Full on weird.

A flurry of cards show up but then suddenly Mako does a magic thing without transforming. And then magically teleports AND SUDDENLY IS TRANSFORMED AND ANGRY.

Is this a new powerup or something?

Also, her girdle looks SUPER tightened with that expression.

Jupiter is angry, but she's still gonna let the main characters do the thing because they're the main characters and despite the fact that THIS WAS CLEARLY HER EPISODE she isn't allowed to end things on her terms because they have no stock footage for that shit.

Are you noticing a trend of things I dislike about this season yet?

Anyways Sailor Moon beats the card guy with a magical riding crop and that's the last we saw from him.

Shuffle off to Buffalo.

And now Makoto waxes all philosophical about shit.

This is the stupidest shit ever.

They look at the empty dance hall, and they're like "man you done lost your mind Mako". And then that one girl says some stupid shit.

NOT THE TIME SISTER WHO WORKS AT THE
ICE CREAM PLACE. NOT THE TIME.

And then Mako is like "SWEET A DANCE" and then her friends are somehow convinced that Mako has not somehow lost her mind.

Even though it is clear to the rest of us that she definitely has.

End episode.

At this stage of the game, I'm not sure what to think about this show anymore. I want to like it, and I do to some extent, but... god it's still so damn terrible. And Makoto has now lost her mind. Not that it will matter because between this episode and the next, not only will they not remember any of this, but her personality will probably change entirely based on whoever is doing the writing.

I guess what I'm saying is, the only thing this show established is that a young girl is in love with a unicorn.

OH MY GOD CHIBIUSA IS IN LOVE WITH A UNICORN F***ING SHOOT ME.