Kodomo No Jikan Episode 04 - My Mother

It's been a hell of a year so far. In the course of two weeks, I've managed to move apartments, start sleeping on the couch due to lack of space, and find out just how bad my tax returns are looking. Not to mention the billions of other things going wrong. But heck, what better reason to torment oneself than when things are just going really, really wrong in life?

Also, my friend is a jerk and somehow talked me into watching this show. Again. You, friend, are an ass.

So I guess when last we left off, the little troublemaker said something about how she was going to marry her teacher, or something to that effect. If today's title is any indication, I suspect that I will want to castrate myself just for watching this, for fear that the insanity displayed within this show may somehow be contagious.

So it's a normal day at school, and today's assignment: Write something about your parents. Which surprises the class, and Kuro is all "Invasion of privacy!" What? Since when is writing about your parents an invasion of privacy? I think she's just being a twat for sake of running against the grain. She's such a rebel, just look at the way she dresses in school.

But someone has his shit together, and he's all "Cool, I'll just tell your parents you hate writing compositions" and she's about to straight up call him.... something. Probably a lolicon, which he clearly is at this point. I'm getting the distinct impression somebody hates her parents. Though, Daisuke does seem to have an ulterior motive: to learn more about his students and their parents, so that they might grow better. Suddenly, I am beginning to think maybe Kuro has every right to be mad at this guy. He is pretty much a creeper.

All of this is in preparation for house visits - he wants to know something about their parents before he goes to meet them, I guess. Though as he's leaving the school, Strict Lady is talking about how they serve no purpose and should be cancelled. From the way she describes it, it is fairly pointless. In fact, it's like reverse parent-teacher meetings here - where I come from, the parents go to the teacher at school, not the teacher to the parent's house. Though, everything in Japan is different, this is just weird even for me.

So Daisuke asks about the whole thing, and she goes on to say that a lot of schools don't do those kinds of things anymore. But he's all for the idea, because if there's something wrong at home... oh, but what could he possibly do, she asks? If there's something wrong going on, what can a lowly homeroom teacher do about it? Probably just cry in the corner.

Probably.

So he starts reading papers, totally ignoring red-head tits sitting beside him. He is too depressed at not knowing anything about his students - that is, until she suggests looking at the old log books to see what was gleaned in the past.

So she leads him into an old, dusty room where nobody ever goes, and he's looking at some old photos of them, and finds something surprising - someone's home life totally blows, with a divorce followed by their father's death. No wonder Kuro was so against the whole thing.

Meanwhile, at Rin's house, her brother(?) is looking over her homework, and is disturbed by what he sees.

I'd be disturbed by lazy translations too.

I'm not linguistic expart, but I guess this has something to do about her mother? That is what a ka-san is, after all.

Next day of class, and everyone is talking and stuff, and everyone was somehow excited about having done their homework for a change. Rin talks about how her mother makes her hair every day, those weird pink things on her head are gifts from her mom. And it would seem that Rin is the one with the broken household, leaving Daisuke to agonize over the whole thing, and how he should approach it. But then he is approached by Rin, who says she wants to practice on the vertical bars, which is probably just some attempt to be utterly lewd with him again.

Though, seeing as how her father is dead, this may explain why she seems to have such a huge crush on the guy - he is kind of a fatherly figure. Does this make the whole situation any less awkward? Not in the least. Especially not when she falls off the bars and lands squarely on top of him.

At the infirmary, she comments how he is being super nice today, and then asks him to 'hold her' until they get to the classroom.

This is so grossly inappropriate, I want to punch the author
in the face for this shit.

I don't know about you, but any school I ever went to, you did not carry students around. You just didn't. Not without supervision of like, at least two other teachers. Mimi keeps Kuro from seeing this, and some kids running around comment about how they are hugging 'like a couple'.

I'm going to vomit now, kay? Kay.

Then Rin gets uncomfortably close, and he has to remind himself that he has to maintain a reasonable distance from his students. Y'know, like a professional.

So tomorrow they're going to the pool, and Rin is grinning like she just won the lottery (which I guess she kinda did?) and then there's something about a class after going to the pool. I really can't understand this school system. You are a homeroom teacher, why do you keep going out and doing crazy things? Is this a normal thing in the Japanese educational system?

So he's got these things they're supposed to hand out to their parents, and as he hands the papers to Rin, comments about how she should properly give it to her "Guardian", knowing that she does not, in fact, live with either parent. Now Kuro is mad, and Rin appears to be, well, devastated. This might almost be a little sad, if it weren't for the fact this girl is actively trying to get into a grown man's pants.

Yeah.

So what, Rin, are you going to cry? Are you going to cry? Guess not because it fades to black and now they're at the pool having fun. But now Rin is trying to avoid Daisuke I guess, which is a good thing far as I am concerned.

OUTDOOR SHOWER OR NOT THIS IS GROSSLY,
IRREVOCABLY, INSANELY, INAPPROPRIATE!!!

So what's he do? He shows up behind her while taking an outdoor shower. That? That is just plain damned pedophilia right there. Notice how they don't show the eyes? They tend to do that in anime right before the man tries to stick it in their pooper. Or, y'know, when they want them to appear intimidating. Which still doesn't make this scene any better, given he's already fantasized about this girl being naked in front of him?

Hang on, thing I'm gonna hurl again.

Oh god.

So he apologizes and shit, and she asks if he feels pity for her. To which he replies, yeah, probably just a little bit. Then she straight up starts undressing inside the building. Way to go pervert, at least you have the decency to slam the door closed and turn your back. Clearly she is angry at him for being kind to her because she has no parents. Then I guess she sits there naked for awhile?

Well, now Rin won't even look at him, which again is a good thing. He wants to apologize, but she wants nothing to do with him. So that means the show is over, right? Thank God for that. Wait, what do you mean we're only halfway through the episode?

What do you mean there are nine more episodes left?!

Meanwhile, at gym class, the girls notice Kuro has an abnormally large gym uniform.

Already I see where you are going with this, and
I DO NOT APPROVE.

So Kuro likes looking like a doll dressing in doll-like dresses, and then Rin... does something to Mimi behind... a giant.... censor bar? Oh my ****ing christ. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Did you REALLY put that kind of material into a show about little GIRLS?!

More breast jokes, and then Daisuke is magically the gym teacher.

Again, I am confused. What the hell is homeroom, really? I think it's just a word they use, not really understanding its implications, because he is constantly around all the time.

Well, Kuro is happy that Rin is giving Daisuke the snubface, but now she is so depressed she doesn't want to play anymore. Class ends for the day, and Rin runs off to the bathroom, while Daisuke pulls the other two aside for a chat. He gets called a pedo again (I guess they censored that too for some reason?), and he's pretty much asking them to do something for him in regards to Rin. Also, Kuro is wearing cat ears.

Seriously. Dress code. Nobody enforces it.

But it seems he wants to apologize to Rin properly, but can't manage to do it on his own. Yet another reason he fails as a teacher - he has to continually ask his students for help. He is so damned inept that he has to resort to asking literal children to help him with simple things.

Kuro tells him that Rin isn't depressed because her parents aren't there, and runs off leaving it at that. Not before calling him something that is... censored. It probably wasn't pleasant whatever it was. Now, whether these censorings are just a matter of it being my source for viewing this, or whether the actual show was censored in this manner? I can only imagine. I get the feeling, however, that it is likely my source that made these choices, and for that I commend them. I feel bad that they had to be subjected to these things in the first place, or that they chose to attempt to make the show ever so slightly more watchable than it already is.

Kuro is all angry because she's all hearthrobs and rainbows for Rin, who still only sees her as a friend, and really I just don't understand why ten-year-old girls are trying to get all romantic and shit. Seriously.

Meanwhile, Daisuke continues ignoring the hottie sitting beside him, and decides to make a visit to someone's house. I bet it's Rin's.

So, he meets the mysterious older guy who's been living with Rin, who clearly doesn't want Daisuke around, but lets him into the apartment anyways. Rin is out, so I guess this gives him a little time to get to know this dude who is probably her older brother. Hopefully her older brother.

At least he can make reasonable requests sometimes.

So let's get ready for exposition time! Aparrently, dude is... Rin's mother's cousin. So that makes him... sort of like an uncle of sorts? Four years ago, his parents died. Christ, it's like this whole town is some sort of industrial accident waiting to happen or something. He was taken in by Rin's mother after that, who is now mysteriously gone. Oh, and he is concerned about Daisuke, and some of the things that he's been hearing. Not that I am surprised.

Reiji (the guy's name) warns him to be careful, then Rin comes home, surprised that Daisuke came to visit. He then leaves, his welcome way overstayed, and begins walking home by himself. He seems happy that she is living in a warm and kind home, but there's something about the situation he just doesn't quite like.

Truth be told? Reiji looks like a creeper too.

Next day, Rin greets him at the top of the stairs in a sundress, and she demands to know why he showed up last night. His answer? "Because you are important to me." Then she says he'd better not betray her, and leaps from the top of the stairs to... kiss him.

Oh please god please tell me this is the end of the episode please god let it be over already oh my god she is laughing and giggling to her friends god help me what is this crap I am watching why is it not over WHY IS THAT HIS FIRST KISS EVER OH MY GOD STOP IT PLEASE STOP.

THANK GOD IT IS OVER **** THIS SHOW.