Sailor Moon R: Promise of the Rose - An Entire Hour of Madness!

You guys knew there were Sailor Moon movies, right? Right?

I f***ing miss you guys. T-T

So yeah. There were movies. Technically, I guess this takes place sometime after the Doom Tree arc, but sometime before they go back to the future. Needless to say, I've been wanting to do this movie for some time, but wasn't able to sit down and do it. Considering that this is the 200th(!!!) post, what better time to tackle this film than now?

I'd originally planned to maybe break it up into parts. But y'know what? Settle in. Because this is going to be a very, very long ride for all of us.

I really, really miss Pioneer. They brought us a ton of amazing shows stateside, through the name Geneon. And... well, I won't go into it. But let's just say the end result is that I don't get to see that fantastic logo very often anymore, and it's kind of a shame. Seeing that logo slapped onto something tended to mean something, that what you were watching was probably going to be pretty dang awesome.

So, movie. It begins with your typical Sailor Moon opening, interestingly enough. Usagi Tsukino, introducing herself and telling us how she is secretly a transforming warrior of justice. Y'know, typical middle schooler shit. Oh and there's some other folks that also do the same thing but they're only important enough to basically introduce them briefly by name showing things they do. Ami is studying, Rei is being a priestess, Mako is cooking, and Mina is... standing around with a couple cats.

... come to think of it, I actually don't know of anything else she's really done. Y'know, outside of being Sailor V and running around kicking international criminals in the face and working with the UN to defeat terrorist organizations and... oh, what's that, the show forgot about that because it's too dark? Oh, okay then. Yeah, she stands around with cats. Great.

I am scared for world peace, suddenly.

They transition into a rose which breaks apart, like every time you see Tuxedo Mask do a thing, and suddenly its intro time with a bunch of roses! They use the same song, but at least this intro is fully animated! Why you can see that bus with all the girls rolling around and arguing.

... wow, this is actually a really nice intro all things considered. It has a story within it! Everyone, Chibi-usa and Mamoru included, are all going on a trip somewhere. They meet up with him and I guess are looking at a bunch of flowers. Everybody is happy because things are great.

Now the intro is over and a door on a rooftop opens, and two kids are meeting. One hands the other a rose, and the other is all "some day I'll repay you, and I'll bring lots of flowers." Then vanishes in a sparkle cloud, and he reiterates this promise, and asks never to be forgotten. Which makes Mamoru freak out a little bit suddenly while he's with the blonde because, well... she's being blonde.

Their meaning? Hm, gee, I just... can't remember...

Mamoru confirms that the point of a forget-me-not flower is that it literally says "don't forget me". Who would have thought this was the case? Ah, but I'll cut them a little slack, I'm sure it isn't quite so literal in Japanese. Of course, Usagi also tells us that they also stand for true love, and as Mamoru turns around, it seems that she is waiting for a kiss, which makes him uncomfortable for some reason.

... I'm sure it has nothing to do with the massive age difference at all.

No one must know... no one!

Anyway turns out somebody is watching them after all. Who is it? Take three guesses. The first two don't count.

Remember folks, that's her future dad.

Oh but don't worry, she's not the only one spying on them. In fact, all of her friends are also in on this. And Ami is the only one who thinks that maybe this might kinda be wrong to do, sitting around watching your best friend and her boyfriend make out. I mean, that is kinda creepy when you think about it.

But then it starts to "get good" and Chibi-usa goes to scream out, but the girls can't be having that!

Suffocating children while watching your best friend make out
with a dude? Yeah, that is pretty bad now that I think about it.

Of course before the kiss actually happens, Mamoru hears an awful lot of noise coming from the other side of the flowers on display, so he just... backs away and vanishes, leaving her there standing, expecting a kiss that will not be coming now. Cue a Rei-bound Chibi-usa waving a caterpillar in the poor girl's face, totally freaking her out and letting everyone else have a good laugh at her expense.

But before she can totally try and murder someone, she asks what happened to Mamoru, who has gone outside to get some fresh air and enjoy the place by himself. But then the fountain stops and flower petals rain down from the sky, which takes on an eerie glow. The other girls come out and think this is pretty awesome, but the dramatically tense music suggests otherwise.

Oh and then some dude shows up and you know SHIT WILL BE GOING DOWN.

Oh hey, I didn't know Yagami Light was in this movie too.

Suddenly it all stops being creepy and the petals just vanish, and as Usagi runs up to ask if he totally saw the storm of petals, the other dude is all "sup brah, been like, a minute, how you been? It's me."

Who is me? Well, dunno. He's all "took me forever but I finally got all the flowers so come on lets go and ADVENTUUUURE!" but it turns out, oh no! Mamoru can't remember him. Makes sense, considering he did kinda get hit pretty hard on the head, and one of the big plot things in the first series was him struggling to come to terms with that whole amnesia thing. Which is understandable, given all of the incredible traumas the dude has suffered. He's had his mind wiped what, three times now? It's surprising he even remembers his own name at this point.

After some uncomfortable hand holding, Usagi is all "uh, hey, this is my boyfriend? And you're kinda being creepy so step the hell back, thanks." Then he tells her to get the hell out of his way, and pushes her down, but for some reason they use a sound effect that seems to suggest that, I dunno, it was a LASER-POWERED SHOVE or something.

Everybody cries out for her, and nameless dick just kind of walks off, which makes Mako pretty angry that this dude would 'hit a girl'. Which admittedly is pretty bad. But he turns around and goes "hey I'm gonna keep that promise we made" and ollies all of the outies, vanishing in another rose petal storm into the sky.

Well that's not something you see every day huh? But then Mamoru is all "Fiore...?" So I guess nameless dick now has a name. Fiore. Which... is kind of a girl's name?

Now it's the shrine at night, and I guess all of the girls are there. Also there is a news report about some asteroid coming close to the Earth but hey I'm sure that'll never be mentioned during the rest of the movie, I mean, it's not like the whole it coming close to the planet just after 11pm the next night will be important at all, so nobody should be paying attention to any of that nonsense. Here, have some Rei tucking in Chibi-usa to soothe you.

Oh, turns out it's more important than we thought. Progress!

Though, I'll admit that not seeing an asteroid coming until the day before it arrives is pretty short-sighted of the Earth's scientific community. To be fair though, Armageddon wouldn't be airing for another five or six years yet so... I guess we can overlook this just once.

Turns out this meteor is a thing that the cats mentioned... at some point before this movie began. Thanks for that exposition train though. It would have been nice if you'd set this up maybe a little earlier but oh well, it's out there now.

I'm looking at a cat using a computer. Your point...?

So Artemis goes on to tell us that he's been investigating this asteroid, which doesn't really seem to be in any danger of hitting the Earth, even at 600 meters large. That's pretty tiny for an asteroid but even so, there's no way it should totally burn up in the atmosphere at that size... The weirdest part, however, is that they've "detected plant energy" from it.

How do you even...?

Really? Because it looks like a football with wings to me.

Oh but then Usagi starts talking about Mamoru while half asleep under the table with pizza on it, and magically everyone teleports to the table like they were never even gone, or talking about some kind of possibly serious asteroid that might spell the end of all humanity. I mean you guys brought it up and the cats found some weird 'energy' signature on it so hey that might be a thing you want to talk to her about especially with that one guy who just appeared out of nowhere? No? You're gonna just ignore this? Fine then.

I guess Mamoru up and went home after that whole thing earlier and Usagi hasn't heard anything, then Ami talks about how popular dude is with the guys and the meeting pretty much goes downhill from there. Which means it's also done and over with, and the cats are like "oh man seriously what the heck".

Time for the flashback where Usagi asks about Mamoru's family, and he's all "hey you're my family now" and she thinks it's kind of sad because his parents died when he was like nine but yet she still says she doesn't really know much about his past. Not that there is much to know, really.

Again with the whole destined to be together thing...?

... then she puts her head on his lap and I can't help but feel vaguely uncomfortable. I mean, why does she suddenly get on the floor to do that? And... you know what, I am just going to stop that train of thought right there because I really do not like where it is going. Not. One. Bit.

Oh but Usagi promises to always protect him which can't be further from the truth, since their relationship is basically the other way around.

Fade back to the party where Usagi goes to get some air and look into the sky and we are now IN SPAAAACE. And a thing is floating down from it with wicked creepy music.

An evil Dandelion seed? Okay then.

So this thing hits the ground and immediately blooms into a flower, and now the girls are going to school. Chibi-usa thanks Mako for making her lunch, and Rei feels a strange presence. DUN DUN DUUUUN. TIME FOR EVERYONE TO GO RUNNING OFF SOMEWHERE TO LEAVE LITTLE GIRLS BEHIND. Because, y'know. Chibi-usa is kind of useless.

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll notice you're gone... tomorrow.

The girls round the corner and holy crap, an entire street full of people totally passed out. Artemis tells us that their energy has all been drained. How could this happen, asks Mina? Dunno but now she is going to be attacked by a zombie, and then the entire street is zombies! Plants are skittering out from areas with soil, seeking out energy-less human husks, and possessing them. Because it's efficient that way? I'd think the plants would just attack people who aren't empty husks but then again what do I know about magic right?

It's not long before the girls are all overtaken by the zombies, and Rei tries to ofuda them all, which works as it burns away the evil vines, making everyone fall to the ground. But things aren't over yet, why, Ami has discovered that a flower is the source of all this evil!

Aw it's just a harmless OHGODWHAT.

Needless to say everyone's reaction is, well, pretty surprised. Then Chibi-usa shows up and the flower goes to get her, but Usagi dives in for the save, leaping through a glass storefront to keep the kid from any real harm. Except for, y'know. Glass cuts. I'm sure that'll be fine. Even more horrifying however is that the flower is changing. Evolving. It is... well, it's kind of creepy actually.

Bellsprout evolves into... Belldandy? I dunno.

It proves much too fast for the girls to handle however, and pins Ami and Rei against a wall, before its back blossoms into a giant flower and, well, it starts using Giga Drain on them. I have to admit that the animation is really freaking awesome right now too. Mina and Mako decide this must be the thing that's been draining energy (wonder what gives them that idea), and transform after the cats tell them to. Full transformation sequences because this is a movie! Also, they brought back the "Sailor (insert name)" song during them. They do their special attacks, which winds up looking totally bitching as they tear the plant apart.

Of course, she's a bit too strong to be taken down just like that, and laughs as we now get to see Mars transform and prepare to light up her life. Also Mercury because, well, she wouldn't want to feel left out I suppose.

The girls get to work trying to take down this baddy while Chibi-usa tries waking up Usagi who is content to lie around in a restaurant. Since she is unable to do this, the kid decides it's time she did what she originally came here to do, and tries to suffocate the older girl by sticking napkins up her nose and covering her mouth.

... in what universe is this EVER an okay thing to do to someone?? When has this EVER been an acceptable reaction towards someone you're trying to wake up?

This image stayed for so long I thought my video stopped.

Watching this scene, I had to look at the time code like, three times to make sure that yes, the video was still playing. They linger on this one, totally silent shot for twenty seconds. That was enough to make me think something had gone seriously wrong. I can hardly fault them for this however... this was back in the days of VHS, so it wasn't natural to assume that videos had crashed or whatnot. But no sound effects? Not even breathing or Chibi-usa making concerned noises or something? Anything to keep our minds from wandering would have been great.

Anyways eventually she wakes up gasping for breath and she's all "geez finally woke up" and tells her that everyone is out fighting so it's time for her to tran- oh wait not before the kid says thanks for saving her.

So now we get to see Sailor Moon transform, with the wings in the background and all, and you know it is go time because Sailor Moon is on the scene.

Meanwhile, those girls are still fighting the plant girl, who moves around like some kind of spider, and winds up grabbing everybody, preparing to drain their energy. When what happens but a flying tiara comes out to slice up those vines, saving them!

Man, when was the last time I saw THAT move? Honestly she stopped using it what, halfway into R? It's time for her to make her awesome intro speech which.... actually seems to be worded pretty well for a change, unlike many of her others. But more fight time as the nameless flower attacks, and it's up to Mercury to put her on ice long enough for a Moon Scepter to come out and do its work.

Wait, she uses the tiara AND the scepter?! Holy crap man. I'm pretty sure that's a thing that hasn't happeend during the entirety of R, except after the time she got the Scepter.

But then after the flower is destroyed, that weird dude from the day before shows up, and proves that he is... the smartest being on the entire planet.

Holy crap, he actually pays attention to what people look like?!

This is downright unprecedented. Not even the scouts themselves can manage to recognize one another after they've transformed! Not even their best friends recognize them, despite looking exactly the same! This dude? He might as well be a god in this universe, because not even the Dark Moon Clan could figure that shit out.

So he reveals his true form which looks like Ghaleon from Lunar, and he just so happens to have another little friend pinned to his breast.

Mmmm, breast.

Luna recognizes this as a Kisenian Flower? I guess it's some kind of sentient flower who is all "man I really like this place, it's got energy and life and I just wanna suck it all dry."

Ha ha haaaa, double entendre. - Phil Ken Sebben

The girls ask who the heck they are, and the flower is all "meh get ridda them" and so he blasts them away with mysterious force. Except for Jupiter who tries to get in all close and personal, but he just... well, pretty painfully Palm Strikes her into a phone booth which practically explodes, leaving only Sailor Moon left standing.

He decides to take care of her personally however, given that she has lied to Mamoru in some form or another. All with his two-foot-long nails. Enter the Rose, however, which stops him.

Now THIS is classy as f**k.

He literally walks out of a billboard, and the drink in his hand fades away, and... he walks on the air itself, so that he can stand on top of a light post. Holy crap man. Just holy crap. That... that is an amazing level of pure badassery that is so far above and beyond this show that I'm left wondering how they managed to come up with it. Or if it's just confusing production that somehow wound up looking just badass anyways.

Seriously look at this asshole looking classy as shit.

Look how dapper this mother f***er looks right now.

He tells Fiore, because that's his name, that he has gone far enough, and dude totally forgets about that girl he was gonna cut up because Mamoru is here! He didn't forget after all, right?

Fiore has questions, much like Tuxedo Mask does. Why is Fiore doing this? Well, why is Mamoru "seeking solace from his loneliness with a dull girl like this?" Then he goes on to say that she will "deceive him soon" and he will be all alone, so what's the point?

... uh, I get the feeling he's getting a wrong impression here. Tuxedo Mask asks him to please believe in this girl and in the people on this planet, and dude says he understands, but then does a glowy eye thing with the flower and leaps into the air, surprising everybody because what is going on here, exactly? Oh I see he's materializing a sword and preparing to slice a girl in half, okay.

But of course, Tuxedo Mask gets in the way, and somehow the cats wind up... on top of Sailor Moon. Not sure how that worked, I mean, did they honestly think their little cat bodies would be able to save her? Or were they somehow blown back, and just landed on top of the girl who got shoved out of the way? That doesn't even make sense either, what the heck is up with that? Well, whatever, dudes are staring each other down right now.

Fiore manages to get his opponent off balance though, and continues to claim that the girl is 'deceiving him' despite not actually explaining what the hell he is on about, but for some reason Tuxedo Mask seems to understand exactly what's going on. Which is nice for him because I'm completely lost here. With his opponent down, dude prepares to run the girl through with his extending fingernails, but as you could predict, Tuxedo Mask takes one for the team yet again, and falls to the ground injured, to the horror of everyone.

Maybe if you would sit and, I dunno, listen to your friend...

But he decides to teleport the body to himself, and fly off into the sky with his boy toy, leaving Sailor Moon to sit and cry in the middle of the street while asking what the hell is going on. Which is a good question because I don't really even know and we're halfway through the movie at this point.

Cars running off cliffs. Doctors saying it was too late for the parents! This must be a flashback! We find out that Mamoru has somehow miraculously been spared, and that Fiore dude was there for him. And as he wakes up in the present day, he finds himself somehow able to talk and breathe inside a liquid-filled crystal.

I have nothing clever nor witty to say about this one.

Our buddy is all "so uh, I guess you actually did exist and weren't just a figment of a traumatized child's imagination after all!" and Fiore is all "man I remember this shit like it was yesterday" even though... uh, we really don't have a lot of context here I suppose. Does he really not have any concept of time whatsoever? It's kinda been like, ten years since they last met, and they have both grown up quite a bit since then.

He goes on to say that he wandered through all of space alone, not knowing where he came from... which begs the question WHY DID HE EVEN LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I guess he's getting to that though since he arrived on Earth in the middle of a rain storm and Mamoru found him and they shared a bed and... uh, okay. Well, they're kids so it's okay I guess.

Unfortunately, he couldn't stay on Earth for very long, because it wasn't good for his body I guess, and he promises to bring lots of flowers when he comes back. From there, he went from planet to planet, looking for that one perfect flower, and then he finally found it, sitting on an asteroid in some remote region of space.

This flower happens to be that lovely little lady on his chest. When he picked it up, he realized that all of those people who had 'left Mamoru alone' must die. Which... seems kind of like a bit of an overreaction to me, but okay. Considering that the ONLY people that left him alone were his parents, who are... kind of already dead.

Some of the artwork in this movie is just plain pretty though.

Of course, Mamoru doesn't want anything like this, so what's the deal Fiore? Why you gotta be such a dick? He gets his answer pretty quickly though.

Clearly the evil flower is behind all of this.

He then asks if Mamoru is going to leave him all alone, and we switch back to the girls, who are just now finding out what exactly a Kisenian flower is.

According to the cats, it's one of the most evil organisms in the universe. It travels from planet to planet, draining all life force, and generally being a real dick. Of course, neither one of them have ever seen one of these things before, but they know what this is because the Moon Kingdom told them to be on the lookout for it just in case.

You remember this, but not what your Princess looks like?
What the hell Luna! What the hell!

So, on its own, the flower is pretty harmless, but it tends to attach itself to humans so it can walk around. Humans with weak hearts.

... hold on, there is NO WAY this dude is remotely human. He looks just like Ali and En! Also, you're honestly telling me there are humans all over the universe? I'm calling bullshit.

Anyways this weakness in their heart turns to hatred and fear, and winds up destroying planets. So knowing all of this, it seems pretty clear that Fiore is totally possessed by a demon flower. Thanks to Mercury and her amazing powers of analysis, she was able to take some samples from that flower they fought earlier, compare it to the energy the asteroid was giving off (plant energy mind you), and determines that is it without a doubt, EVIL ENERGY.

... you ever get the feeling that maybe they're just throwing words together in order to make the plot move forward?

So it's pretty clear that Mamoru is probably on that asteroid, so they should just teleport up there and kick some ass? But Sailor Moon isn't quite so convinced, since she's kind of upset that not only did he get hurt, but also kidnapped trying to protect her. Which is when Chibi-usa decides to tell her to get it together. At gun point.

... no I am not joking. She turns Luna-P into a f***ing pistol and tells her to get her shit together. OR ELSE.

Well when you put it that way...

Turns out the gun is, in fact, just a boy, but HOLY GOD IS THIS CHILD VIOLENT. Who does this?! Whoever thought this was an okay thing to do?! Why would she think this would WORK?! I mean holy god, what in the HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD?!?!

I had pretty much the same reaction.

By the way, that little ball opens up like a Japanese confetti ball and a message saying "go for it!" pops out.

... WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! HOLY CRAP.

She goes on to say that heroes of justice don't cry so she should man the f**k up and quit her bitching and do some shit instead of moping around. Which, while it is good advice DID IT REALLY NEED PUNCTUATED WITH A THREAT OF GUN VIOLENCE?! JESUS.

The other girls are all cool with this though, and are like "yeah let's just go and kick some ass? For Earth? And Mamoru?" So they stand in a circle, hold hands as the moon comes out of the clouds and they do a Sailor Teleport, leaving the child and the cats behind.

That teleport thing is pretty handy, I've gotta admit. I wonder why they never really did that before? Say... back when they were trying to find Beryl's hideout in the north pole?

So they're now flying around in space around a lovely 3D object straight out of the 90's with gross textures that probably took them an entire day to throw together, and oh dear god it is opening and looks even worse than I thought it did before.

What did this accomplish that couldn't have been done with
more traditional animation, but much better?

The giant space rock flower is full of other space flowers, and the girls are flying over it and then something attacks from behind! Why, it's one of those flower monster things that looks like a fairy now, throwing rocks at them and attacking with elbow blades.

When did I start watching Cyberpunk 2099?

But they use their Sailor Planet Attack adn blow up lots of flowers and the enemy, which burns and takes forever to die as they land on the surface, somehow able to breathe.

Further in, at the center, is Mamoru in a crystal, on some kind of circular platform. It could be a trap, but then Fiore shows up to tell them that he'd never use Mamoru as a trap, so they have nothing to fear. Also, he's kind of surprised that they followed him all the way here.

He plans on returning Mamoru to the Earth, but not just yet. See, when it gets close to the Earth, it's gonna spread all those little seeds across it, turning the entire place into a giant flower garden, and then he'll let Mamoru go back. Because he's the kind of friend that cares or something.

Though, that's gonna pretty much kill everyone and he's cool with that. The girls aren't, and he vanishes as Mars tries to set him on fire. But now Mercury tells them that they are surrounded by monsters. Gee, where are they coming from? Well duh, it's the flowers. Which begin to sprout into lamias.

Y'know. These things.

They ask Sailor Moon to purify the entire asteroid, but that'll take some time so they'll have to keep her safe in the meanwhile. So they get to fighting the flowers with every area effect attack they can. Every time they get hit by something, they turn into flower petals, which is kinda neat. But then she starts a chargin her lazor, and purifying the hell out of this place, which is bad for Fiore, who realizes that all of his flowers will wither before they ever even take root. So they all start gathering into one giant mass, to become a giant... uh, thing.

I guess it's a tidal wave of flowers?

Mars throws Sailor Moon to the side to avoid being hit by this attack, while the others seem to be crushed beneath and covered in flowers, which sends their leader scrambling to try and dig them out. But she can't, which makes her think they've all died. Then Fiore comes up to call her a coward for leaving her firends behind, but before she can try to purify them, he pulls the girls up out of the ground, telling her to drop her weapon, or he'll hurt the girls.

He neglects to mention that he'll probably wind up hurting them anyways but hey, he's gotta give her the option right? He demonstrates by electrocuting them with purple energy, and he promises that the more she hurts his flowers, the more he'll hurt her friends. Who tell her "dude, fate of the Earth, do what you gotta do".

She drops her scepter though, and tells him that she gives up. And she's kinda sorry, but she can't fight knowing it would send them reeling in pain, which seems to surprise Fiore, and makes his head hurt. Also, the flowers let go of her pals, and she runs over to help them while the villain is busy having a freakout attack.

Fortunately for him, he has a little angel to help guide him, and let him know that regardless, this girl wants to steal his best friend, so he should probably killify her.

To this end, she promises to lend him her power, and lets him know that if he kills Sailor Moon, Mamoru will remember their friendship, and everything will be just fine.

Even though he never really forgot? I dunno.

At this point, Fiore gets a relatively disturbing upgrade.

Yeah, that's the flower's arm draped over his shoulder.

The music starts to kick ass, and Mamoru begins trying to break out of the crystal, and succeeds. He's gotta put an end to this and save his girl. Who is being, uh, tentacled by a creeper.

Pretty sure I just nailed that description.

So he starts absorbing all of her energy, and he monologues about how he won't let any of the liars or deceivers hurt Mamoru, about how no one can understand the loneliness they felt. Like some kind of sane person I guess. Even though Ami knows what that was like, having been the smart girl left all by herself, as evidenced in a flashback. The same for Mako, who was always getting in fights and nobody wanted to be around her. Yeah, how can any of them know what it's like to be alone, to never have any friends or comrades? Certainly not Minako, whose flashback reminds us that she was once Sailor V, a lone hero roaming the world dispensing justice, unable to have any friends.

Yes, they would never understand the kind of loneliness that comes about from others not understanding you. Definitely not like Rei, who was always working in the shrine, who got left out because she had psychic powers.

All of Sailor Moon's energy is drained, and now she's left to lie on the ground as he prepares to finish her off, but then the other girls stop him, by begging him not to take her away from them to leave them alone. Because she's the thing that binds them together. But what do they know? Fiore tells them that they are fools, who have been deceived by this liar, who contributes nothing.

But it's he who doesn't get it, because without her, they'd never have come together. Which starts to make him freak out again. Why, she's lied to everyone, so... yeah, she's lied right? I mean, not that he knows anything about her. What is up with this 'lying' thing anyways, and why is he so damned hung up on it?

He can't let her live he decides, and goes to kill her but who comes in for the save once again? Well... a lone rose striking him in the chest keeps him from killing Sailor Moon.

Watching Mamoru collapse to the ground, Fiore himself begins to break apart from the rose sticking out of his chest, bursting into light as he does.

So his weakness was flowers huh? Didn't see that one coming.

He's not destroyed yet though, and Fiore is having a hard time listening to the flower. He can't take that he threw a flower at him. He's going to leave him all alone. It can't be! The flowers all wither and die, leaving nothing but a barren rock behind, and thereby saving the Earth.

Or so they thought because it begins to break up now, and head towards the planet at a pretty high speed. Which means we're moving into final boss territory now as he declares that they will all burn up in the atmosphere, since if he can't have Mamoru then nobody will!

Oh and that flower pal of his will probably survive, so no big deal. She'll just kill all the humans for him, because that's how she rolls. OF course, Sailor Moon isn't going to let that happen, and opens the broach to use the Silver Crystal and do a thing. Which will probably kill her but hey whatever, least it'll save her pals right?

Besides, it's not like she'd actually die, I mean she's kind of the titular character and let's face it, she's gotten away with using it how many times now without any serious repercussions?

But then Fiore reaches out, and grabs her chest in defiance.

This is the dickest way to cop a feel ever.

He winds up almost breaking her transformation though, and she grabs his hand telling him that he won't be alone, and he screams that she must be lying because, well, there's no way she'd be nice right?

Cue the flashback of Mamoru crying in the hospital, and a little Usagi coming in to comfort him.

... wait what?!

Wait, what?

... what??

What is... why does... he's crying because a 'dear friend' of his is going to go away soon, and she's here because she's about to be a big sister. Which makes sesnse, and she gives him a rose to say congratulations, and that he shouldn't cry about this because it's okay. And now, I guess Fiore kind of understands in a way? Except that... I mean, you would think that they might remember something like this. Or at least that Mamoru might? I mean, holy crap this is just... my mind is blown because I cannot comprehend just the sheer amount of... thisness of the situation. I mean, did they really just put this in out of nowhere?

How you know any of this however is open to debate.

He takes his hand off, and sees that the Silver Crystal has bloomed into a flower of its own.

Okay, that's kinda cool actually.

He starts crying, and the flower explodes, and he turns into dust as the asteroid heads towards the surface. And nobody has yet explained how anyone is breathing in space. But hey, at least there's a shitton of awesome glowing ribbons flying all over the place from Usagi, who opens her eyes like a badass as the climactic music begins to play and she transforms into Princess Serenity.

Cue the lyrics as we move into the final phase of this movie, and she does the thing to save the day, declaring that she'll keep everybody safe.

... not gona lie, but this is actually pretty awesome in its own right as she struggles to beg the Silver Crystal for the power to keep everyone safe. Then Mamoru turns into Endymion, and the other girls decide they're going to stand beside her and give her a hand because that's they roll.

Also, I guess this song is called Moon's Revenge? Which is kinda badass in its own right.

Time for flashbacks of when Usagi was telling people to stop doing things they normally do, and being a pest which is kind of neat I guess. So she wants to protect them and they want to protect her, because in the end, she is the entire reason they even spend time together. So it's kind of touching. The entire rock just keeps blowing apart as they re-enter the planet's atmosphere, and it just looks goddamn gorgeous. And she knows that with her pals backing her, she can push the crystal even further, so everyone calls out for their powers and combines together to make sure that they make it out of this thing alive.

But the Silver Crystal shatters at the end, and now we cut to Chibi-usa sitting on the roof with the cats wondering what is up. But the kid is sure they'll be fine, after all Sailor Moon is "everyone's mother", so... yeah. Okay. By that logic she'll totally make sure they all get back just fine.

Now they're stuck in low Earth orbit or something as they look down at Sailor Moon crying, because she won't open her eyes or wake up. Which probably has nothing to do with the crystal shattering I'm gonna guess. But then Fiore shows up and is all thanking them for saving his life again. In return, he holds out a flower to Mamoru, telling him that it contains all of his life energy, and that the nectar will be enough to revive her.

... of course this seems to happen in some weird kind of hammerspace, where the other girls probably don't see him kissing the flower held out by some other dude, before kissing the unconscious blonde.

Like seriously am I the only one disturbed this by?

This is enough to regenerate the Silver Crystal, thus preventing a Time Paradox, Fiore goes flying off into space alone again, and Sailor Moon wakes up to everyone saying that she told them she was totes gonna protect them all. CUE MORE AWESOME EPIC MUSIC YEAAH. Oh and people cheering.

Seriously though how are they breathing in freaking space? ROLL CREDITS WHO CARES.

According to the credits, the 'flower' was just called Kisenian. Cute.

The credits are nothing special, they're just your typical black screen end of movie credits rolling past, which is acceptable. I mean, you sat through almost an hour of this, I'm not sure it's possible for the human brain to take any more Sailor Moon storytelling.

And looks like I was right about the song being called Moon's Revenge. Because they're playing it again and the credits list it as being such. Overall? It's kind of better than the show itself. Which is surprising. It almost goes against some of the things established in the show, and it's kind of murky as to when it takes place, but overall, I have to say this is a pretty solid movie.

I'll try to do a final review on it, but y'know, I'm actually pretty impressed with this movie. It handled itself way more maturely than the show ever did, and managed to tell a fairly cohesive story without completely screwing everything up. Overall, a pretty solid mark in the win column for Sailor Moon.

Happy 200th post fellas, and I'd actually recommend you check this movie out, because at the end of the day, it's actually really decent, and worth watching.

Yeah, that statement just happened.