Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 16 - Time to Believe the Pegasus! The Super Transformations of the Four Soldiers

It feels like I just watched this show yesterday. Yet, I know this cannot be true. Time is simply beginning to blend together.

I wonder if perhaps this is just the effect of subjecting oneself to these kinds of shows on a regular basis. How you just go and wind up losing track of time because the experiences all blend together into one big chili pot of absurdity.

Why chili, you ask? Why this show? Or any other? Man I don't f***ing know anymore I just watch this crap.

Oh great. Today's episode is sure to be a real winner. A real. Winner.

"Hey remember those other bitches who used to do things?
Yeah me either."

So I guess Fish Eye beats the shit out of some people, Pegasus does a thing and then the day is saved.

Eh, this one might turn out okay. Feels mostly plot-related which is good. Roll intro, we're going in hot!

... I deny that I have been playing too much MGSV. I DENY THIS. Even if it is probably true.

We begin the episode in a rainy Tokyo day. A truck is driving down AND THEN HITS A F***ING WINGED HORSE. Or something. It explodes and the driver is presumably dead.

JUST AS KEIKAKU?

Cue title slide! Which is long as f**k. Seriously why can't these get shorter?

Anyways now it is bright and sunny and there is a soccer game going on where kids just fly through the air.

The shit you see in this show.

We are also then reminded that not only does Chibi-usa continue to exist despite our wishes otherwise, she also has friends or something.

Oh great yet another useless character who will be forgotten
immediately. Oh and some dude too I guess.

So we get to learn about this Robert. He is 'the best guy' at their school. I'm guessing it is because he has the power of f***ing levitation. I mean that pretty much puts you into a league of your own usually. But then they all walk home and complain about the homework and stuff BUT THEN OH SHIT THIS MYSTERIOUS DUDE JUST SHOWS UP AND IS LIKE "YO WHAT UP PINK."

If this kid turns out to be Pegasus I'm gonna be forced to wonder
whether an ancient Egyptian pharaoh is being released from
some stupid pyramid-looking puzzle or some shit.

He calls her cute and everyone is like "huh?" and he's like "YOU LETS GO OUT I MEAN WE JUST MET AND STUFF BUT I AM TOTALLY ATTACHED TO YOU ALREADY. OH BUT I GOTTA SOCCER SO TELL ME LATER BYYYYYYEEEE."

Well she is like technically 900 years old or some shit.

That dude pipe ups and is like 'oh my god girls are lame' and walks off thinking he has somehow contributed to this conversation in a meaningful manner.

By the way, I should remind you, these kids are in grade school.

Aren't they like, in the third grade? Did I miss something?
Actually never mind I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW AT ALL.

Then she goes home and talks to Pegasus about this shit. He's all like "oh I see" and he offers zero advice at all instead just kind of staring off into space and tells her to make up her own damn mind what's he look like her boss right I mean what does he even care anyways?

Downstairs, Usagi is tripping over the plot as she stuffs her face.

GEE. THAT LOOKS AWFUL FAMILIAR.

I'M SURE IT IS FINE THOUGH.

This news is so shocking it rendered the character artist
unable to render a good image of Usagi.

WELP GUESS USAGI BETTER RUN OUT.

Meanwhile over at the villains' lounge, some dudes are like "man these photos suck" and Fish Eye is like "shit man I been working my ass out there what you bitches bitchin' bout." Turns out he's been doing a little fishing. Trying desperately to attract the attention of the Sailor Scouts. But no luck so far, man what is wrong with those girls anyways. But whatever at least he's been able to get away with some heinous crimes or whatnot so it's all good I guess?

Of course, none of the guys are up to doing anything, and so it falls to Fish Eye to pick out today's ta-

*chokes on water*

OH NO. HELL NO. NO NO F**K NO NO JUST NO EW GOD NO GROSS EW EW STOP. JUST NO. FLAT OUT NUH-UH. TEENS IS ONE THING. THIS DUDE ISN'T EVEN OUT OF GRADE SCHOOL WHAT THE F**K.

"I have no standards but holy shit what is WRONG with you?"

According to Fish Eye though, 'that's the best part' is the fact the he is so young.

......

CALLING IN FOR AN ENTIRE TRUCK FULL OF NOPE.

Coming from the guy who was basically going for barely-legal
teens, I'm really not sure you are qualified to make that comment.

WELP. TIME TO GO OFF AND PLAY THE ROLE OF A BIG BROTHER OR SOMETHING TEEHEE.

Meanwhile, this shit is still happening.

The other try to figure this shit out while Usagi eats, and then Chibi-usa shows up and they want to talk about a little girl going out with some dude.

What art quality?

Sometimes, I have to wonder if the artists have ever seen a fork in their life.

Doesn't take long before the girls start trying to strangle one another over the giving of advice or whatnot and then Chibi-usa reveals she hasn't said yes yet. Or no. She's uh, not really sure? I mean she is pretty young and only like nine-hundred. Or nine. WE STILL AREN'T ENTIRELY CERTAIN OF THIS. The others want to know why she hasn't said yes, and I'm sure it probably is for a good reason.

I- okay actually, that is a really good reason. Huh.

Every now and again, this show does manage to surprise me. This is one of them. She literally just met the guy and has no idea if she even likes him or whatever. I mean sure he's attractive or something but she knows nothing about him. Except that he's hot and all the girls want him and that he plays soccer and can fly. But I mean besides that what does she know about him? Nothing.

Pretty wise for a brat who tried to seduce her own father once. I mean geez.

The older girls try to pressure her into this - seriously WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?! - and for once, she continues to show little bits of wisdom. She isn't really sure if she likes the guy, right? And shouldn't that feel a certain way?

Yes, you either like someone or you don't and if there is ever
any sort of doubt you should PROBABLY TAKE THIS AS A SIGN.

Mako describes the feeling as just wanting to be with someone all the time, and Chibi-usa claims she knows what that feels like. Either she's talking about her dad, or she's talking about Pegasus, and I'm not sure which is worse. Hey let's change the subject by climbing on the table and trying to steal future mom's food. OH WAIT LOOK AT THAT PAPER WHAT IS THIS. PEGASUS WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING EVIL EVER.

Smartest girl in the Nippons folks!

ER NO I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING I MEAN DUDER ALWAYS COMES TO HELP OUT AND STUFF RIGHT?

Meanwhile, we switch channels to To Catch A Predator. With a simple question: "Do you like older women?"

This is so full of NOPE right now.

Fish Eye is all like 'soooooo you waitin' on someone?' and he's like "Uh. Um. What about you?" YES BECAUSE YOU SHOULD NOT IMMEDIATELY BE SUSPICIOUS OF SOME STRANGE ADULT COMING ONTO SCHOOL PROPERTY TO TALK TO YOU.

HI IS THIS THE NOPE CORPORATION? YEAH I'M GONNA
NEED A DOUBLE ORDER OF NOPE THANKS.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU
CAN ACCOMMODATE BULK ORDERS. I AM
GONNA NEED A WHOLE LOT OF NOPE FAST.

We see some little girl whose head has been cut off by the frame and totally isn't Chibi-usa not being followed by some other girl whose head has also been cut off by the frame that isn't Usagi going somewhere that we can only assume is the school because that's a thing we were told about was going to happen or whatever I guess.

The art continues to be kind of shit and eventually they do the reveal where one yells at the other for being a nosy little shit.

If you were really so concerned you wouldn't HAVE SENT
YOUR KID INTO THE PAST TO DEAL WITH THIS
SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE EVEN.

EW EW EW EW EW EW.

*sigh* Is it too late to get another order of NOPE?

These are your guardians of love and justice, folks. These
are the people who should be protecting your town.
Ignoring any threat to it that literally isn't attacking them.

Ami suggests maybe they should just stop with the following all together and I don't know DO SOMETHING USEFUL but they're like "YOU BITCH SHUT UP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and she's all "MAYBE I AM JUST TRYING NOT TO BE A HORRIBLE PERSON" and the bickering goes on into the next scene transition.

*hurk*

HELLO EXCUSE ME NOPE CORPORATION? I WAS JUST
WONDERING, DO YOU OFFER NOPE BY THE TRAINLOAD?

WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE NEEDS TO, SAY, FILL A LAKE
WITH SOME NOPE? CAN YOU HELP WITH THAT?

The kid wonders if this 'lady' has any other friends and is clearly getting bored of getting hit on by some frankly SUPER ALARMING INDIVIDUAL.

Thank god I thought this was going to drag on forever.

Fish Eye takes it  personally as he tries to walk off but then he transforms and is like "F**K THIS" and rips out a mirror and sends us into the commercial break.

Oh hey maybe this time we'll see some actual action for a change instead of the thirty-second bullshit they keep giving. Anyways the girls show up after the break and are like "oh hey TRANSFORM" and they do that.

Turns out, Pegasus isn't hiding in that boy after all, which means I don't have to make any more Yu-Gi-Oh! references. I'm kind of sad about that I guess. Fish Eye prepares to do away, but Sailor Moon shows up to take some exception to this shit and dole out some serious punishments. Oh and the tiny one too.

They fail at attacking Fish Eye who is simply too fabulous for this shit to be happening right now.

Too fabulous.

Guess it's time for the monster to show up. Mawashitarou, it's your turn!

Okay, this just amuses me.

... this on the other hand...

QUICK CHIBI MOON DO THE THING SO WE CAN GET RID OF THIS THING PLEASE.

Pegasus gets a summon as a bell is rung, and he shows up but there's no music playing this time so you know this shit is about to get real. Which is also when the dude dressed as a horse flexes his disturbing pecs and summons some wooden horses from the ground and starts to twirl.

... what?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I get it but... god this is dumb.

Then a black dome surrounds them and Pegasus is unable to reach the girls. Who are now sealed off. OH NO NOW YOU CANNOT WIN TIME TO USE SOME DAGGERS. Oh and some other girls show up to be completely useless because their powers don't work at all. But the animators didn't want them to feel left out and so we get to see a few attack animations.

Also, we learn that Fish Eye can't throw a dagger to save his life, literally, and so he just keeps ineffectually throwing them either above or to the side of his intended targets.

Yep. This is a thing, and it is happening.

Literally just not even trying.

The girls outside try to do a thing and get black lightning'd, the girls inside try do do a double kick thing and fall over, and Fish Eye is all 'lolol you suck bro doesn't skip a single day look at those pecs seriously' and everyone is like 'well crap how do we Deus Ex Machina our way out of this shit?'

Oh right it is time for the mandatory power up which will
assuredly become totally useless within ten episodes.

Pegasus asks them to, uh, synch up with him? And to accept his power or something? But the girls are like 'okay yeah uh how about no because we can't actually trust you?' and he's like "I AM A F***ING WINGED UNICORN WHAT THE F**K DO YOU WANT OKAY FINE F**K IT IMMA DO THIS SHIT MYSELF" and charges off. slamming into the barrier over and over. Now the girls feel like shit because THEY ARE MORONS and Fish Eye pulls out a rapier and the horse keeps trying to get in and is like "OKAY SERIOUSLY ARE YOU CONVINCED NOW CAN WE PLEASE DO A THING SAY YES GOD DAMN IT".

He keeps hitting the barrier while Chibiusa is like "aw man" and he's like "sorry I can't save you myself" and the other girls are like "welp, we're already assholes may as well keep watching this shit" until the tiny one is like "SERIOUSLY STOP BEING ASSHOLES AND JUST DO WHAT THE DAMN MYTHICAL CREATURE SAYS!"

And we see the same f***ing camera pan for like the fourth time in a row. But this time the girls are like "okay sure we'll do a thing" and he flies into the sky and then they get prety new wands that kind of look like crap but you totally know they'll sell in stores anyways.

Frankly, the regular pens were awesome.

OH HEY TIME FOR EVERYONE TO GET LITTLE STAR CHOKERS AND THAT IS THE ONLY REAL DIFFERENCE I GUESS.

Consider me unimpressed by their 'super' transformation.

Then the girls all do their usual attacks which are super powered or something but look exactly the same minus the whole being animated slightly different. The barrier is broken, and Fish Eye is like "what" and then Pegasus gives Sailor Moon the power to do a thing and y'know what? She does the thing.

We're used to this part by now. She does the thing, the monster gets sent to that big pasture in the sky, and Fish Eye is like "welp time to go".

So he leaves, and now Chibi Moon and Pegasus get all close and stuff and he's like "WELL THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME SUCKERS I'M OUT" and leaves.

Now Chibi-usa sits on a swing with a dude and is like "yeah no sorry dude but this is just too weird for me so whatever". And he's like 'man I never been dumped before'. BRO. YOU WEREN'T EVEN A THING. WHAT THE CRAP. Also, HOW MANY OTHER GIRLS DID YOU 'GO OUT' WITH EVEN? WHAT.

He plays it off cool though and asks if she's already got someone lined up and she looks at some shiny shit in the sky and the other girls are like "WE ARE THE WORST SPIES EVER".

"Yeah this episode usually ends like, twenty seconds ago."

Even Usagi is thinking they should go for once, and Rei is all like "grrr grrr" and Usagi is like 'oh boy that's my man booty calling me'.

Literally, he is booty calling her.

She was supposed to go out with her guy who is left at the mall by himself wondering where the hell she went, and the other girls are like "damn tiny girl getting more tail than us?" and they try to make one another feel better about not having boyfriends and then Chibi-usa catches them laugh track cue end of episode.

So in the end, what did we learn? Nothing. The girls got a power up. Whoo. Who actually gives a f**k. It wasn't really all that dramatic. It could've been, but they just kinda threw it away at the last second. Also made the girls kind of assholes? I mean, I get it, but at the same time, it just feels kind of... eh.

And unfortunately, no plot actually went forward, so really we're still just in the same old holding pattern. Which is a shame. Oh well.

In the end, it's not the worst episode this season, by far. But it is the one that has me asking a very important question.

What the hell am I going to do with all this NOPE?