Astarotte no Omocha EX PART FINAL - Overline of 11 Years Ago

I am so absolutely sick of this show, you don't even know. Even doing this in small parts makes me feel sick to my stomach because they just keep getting worse every time. Yet for some reason, I continue to put myself through this self-prescribed torture.

I really, really hate this show. But not nearly as much as I am learning to hate other shows. It's still pretty high on my 'shows I really hate' list though.

Fine let's just get this rolling turd ball moving. Some people are all like "omg, what is the Queen doing, the coronation is soon and she is nowhere to be found!" Or at least I'm guessing its her because who else could "her highness" be referring to really. So one of those guys is against "Lady Mercelida" taking the throne and... you know maybe if you didn't spend all this time focusing on an empty f***ing chair while people talk off-screen maybe I might give two shits. But unfortunately? I don't.

Blah blah more Lady names are something something, and boobqueen-soon-to-be is standing in front of a very certain tree with enough blush to make her look sunburnt.

Seriously do you guys not have sunscreen??

Then she flashes back to when her older sisters were there, and some heart... bat... thing... finds her. Oh sweet christ.

Oh hell no. Not an annoying flying talking rodent.

So that thing... whatever the hell that is supposed to be, finds her, and she is somewhat distressed by this.

As you can see she seems to have suffered a fatal blow
to her animation budget.

So after having a seizure and falling over, she finds herself falling down through the tree, but not without showing us that lovely crotch of hers. Then she falls into a familiar body of water where a young boy is reading a book, and she shows us that swimsuit-model ass of hers all wet because again, these guys know their audience, and that audience is older men who want to see younger ladies getting their mack on. Ugh.

Then she's all talking to herself and a familiar but much younger-looking Naoya is asking her if she is okay, and holding his hand out to her.

While sitting like, fifteen feet in the air.

You know, this thing... it's not as effective as you might think.

Then the bat comes in and knocks him out of the tree and, you guessed it, right on top of Mercy. Oh but it gets better because, of course, not only are they both wet and sitting in a body of water, but both of his hands and his face are getting up close and personally acquainted with the Lady's biggest assets.

He apologizes and she's all playing it cool, as if it's really no big deal because she gets felt up all the time. And then she magically sprouts wings... for no reason. Which is funny because she had those funny little puberty marks on her back which are supposed to signify "oh hey your wings are coming in" but nope, she has the wings and she just ran out of magic. Oh noes.

After realizing they are both sopping wet, Naoya decides they should go to his place to dry off, and everyybody gets naked. Bustalot there takes a shower and finds out that she can't replenish her magic because, gasp shock and horror, she's in the human world. If she doesn't have any magic however will she manage to get back?

Oh yeah, that. You know that horrible thing the show
has been avoiding ITS ENTIRE EXISTENCE.

Also, for some reason the bat is floating in the bathtub. But then Naoya comes to drop off some towels and now the bat is no longer in the bath... and is flying... oh and she wants to invite him into the bath with her.

Super. But at least he has the decency to run away like a scared little kid, which is exactly what he is really. Then the bat is all "oh man you better be tappin dat ass like a keg because that is some fine-ass magics he's got" and she's all like "yeah I know but..." and then they cut to her getting served tea in a conservative school girl outfit that somehow manages to fit her despite the fact that Naoya shouldn't have clothes anywhere near her size.

I get the feeling this is more directed at the people watching
this show than anything else.

But of course Naoya has no idea of what she is, and asks if she's a fairy. But of course she is, and not only is she a fairy, she's also a queen! Of course this makes the boy freak out for dragging her to his place and wasting her time. Though she reveals that she isn't really one yet, and ran away and all that, and of course he plays the "people will worry" card.

It's not as though anyone would actually care though if she just vanished for good. I mean, nobody really likes her and her whole family is dead or something, so what's the big deal anyway? Meanwhile, her bat friend just eats cherries because I suppose she is a fruit bat or something.

Yes bat, she even means you.

Then again we get the flashbacks of static images and she talks about the sisters she used to have who were supposed to become queen but then everyone started fighting and death happened. Whoops. She starts crying and talking about how she wished she'd never been born into royalty, and he tries to comfort her with a hug because he all made her cry and shit, which confuses her because who the hell is this random slum kid from some alien backwater to hug her out of nowhere?

But he explains it by saying its the kind of thing his mom would do when he cried and blah blah she gets a raging ladyboner and smothers him in her chest.

Judging by the look on your face, I'm going to guess
you are seriously considering rape at this point.

Then night falls and the bat is literally hanging around, and he falls asleep on her lap for some reason. But she can't stick around here so she kisses him in his sleep and then... then the really weird shit starts happening. Because you see my friends, Naoya finds himself in some kind of multi-color dream world where those flower-shaped clover tree leaves are flying around, and he's just sort of floating in space. Naked.

Oh but guess who's there too? Oh yes it's the not-yet-queen with huge knockers who is also naked and telling him they are having the same dream. Also, they want to flash around her naked titties that seem somehow devoid of nipples. Bubbles happen, she presses up against him, asks how he feels, he says it's good, we get some imagery that basically says "they are doing it" and he proclaims that he feels 'strange but happy'.

They then proceed to literally have dreamsex.

No, I'm not even shitting you. After all this time, they go there, but it was all just a dream! Or was it? Because we all know what happens next. Then she gets crowned but dreams of that little boy who she dream-raped and didn't even get his name, and the goddamn thing has the AUDACITY TO TELL US TO BE CONTINUED.

NO. NO IT WILL NEVER BE CONTINUED THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE WE ARE DONE HERE.

Oh except for the part where they use the same ending except they change the colors and the flower petal shape for some reason. I guess this is supposed to be touching or something but holy mother f**k did you even pay ANY ATTENTION TO THIS ENTIRE SHOW AT ALL?!?! Watching this shit after all this time is goddamn TORTURE.

Where's the fireworks? The confetti? The congratulatory "THANKS FOR WATCHING OUR SHITTY SHOW YOU PERV, HOPE YOU GOT YOUR KICKS, BY THE WAY BUY MORE OF OUR MERCH YOU LONELY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING".

No. Just no. It's over. I sat through this bullshit travesty of animation, and I can tell you without a doubt that I literally hate this show with every fiber of my being.

We're done here.