Dog Days Episode 11 - Flying Flower in the Night

The Holiday season is finally upon us. The snow has begun to fall, frigid temperatures have gripped our nation, and talking heads still fail to understand basic scientific principles.

Give it another week and they'll begin talking about the "war on Christmas". Sheesh.

It's honestly my favorite time of the year, and being able to experience the cold and snow again really just makes me feel all nice inside. Dog Days does not.

... I regret ever picking up this show. I really, really do.

So remember that thing last episode where the ground was falling and people were all "oh nooo aaaugh" and stuff? Well they start off today's episode with some lovely scenes of devastation, and a couple of crazy kids desperately trying to escape it.

I guess FLYING is totally out of the question, eh?

Oh hey there's a flying bird here to save the day. Glad they resolved THAT cliffhanger in the first thirty seconds before the goddamned intro even started playing!

I can only imagine how the pre-production meeting must have gone.

"Okay, so we've left the audience with a gripping cliffhanger unlike any other, what do we do?"

"Oh, a bird flies in and saves the day."

"Wait... what?"

"Uh yeah, I mean they were like, right there weren't they? So let's just resolve it immediately, bam, problem solved!"

"... you realize we still have like twenty minutes of show to fill right?"

"Oh. Shit."

Yeah. Shit is right.

So they start things up again after the intro with everybody flying away from the devastation. Everyone survived because that science girl saved Eclaire and came to save the rest of them, so back to the fortress they go.

Meanwhile, the remains of the sword gets approached by the AWESOME DEMON SLAYER who is all "oh cool," and Yuki is like "yeah I figured they'd handle it". So time for them to slay some demons! Wait you're actually going to show us this? Aweosme! THey have their army of dogs and foxes with knives all giving them power to help with an exorcism, which is actually pretty awesome and makes me wonder if suddenly I am watching Fate Stay/Night or something.

WHY COULD THIS NOT HAVE BEEN THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE SHOW UP UNTIL NOW? They shatters the sword, light shoots into the sky, the clouds vanish and more booms go off. Now that the exorcism has been done, the sword is... sealed inside of a dagger? And they can head back and stuff so off they go.

Now we get to watch the princess explain to Yuki about all the stuff that happened and blah blah THE FOX GOD BABY IS SOMEHOW NOT DEAD DESPITE HAVING BEEN IMPALED FOR CENTURIES WHAT THE HELL SHOW.

Your 'kind'? What the hell are you on about now?

Blah blah the mother got eaten but became one with the baby but her spirit somehow rises to heaven anyways... what the f**k is with this explanation. You are saying words but none of them seem to carry any meaning with them. Like, why I should care. Or why anyone should care. Then the fox girl asks to care for the fox god, and its' time for them to go check on Princess Leo because I guess she got hurt or something?

WELL GEE ISN'T THAT JUST AMAZINGLY CONVENIENT.

Leo finds out that everyone stopped fighting when the DEMON SHOWED UP and she's all "oh cool well I should make an announcement or something". TIME FOR THE BORING PERSON TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENS IN A BIG NARRATION MONTAGE.

Then she apologizes for being a big dick the whole time and promises THE NEXT WAR WILL BE WAY MORE FUN. And so she apologized and everyone was happy AND EVERYTHING WAS JUST PERFECTLY PEACHY, THE END.

Wait WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET?!?!?

Oh I guess they need to shoehorn ANOTHER CONCERT INTO THIS to make up for the HASTILY ABANDONED WAR.

A CONCERT. THAT VERY NIGHT. JUST BECAUSE.

It's getting harder and harder for me to watch this. This goes beyond tears. This goes beyond merely being disgusted. My entire body is attempting to reject this show now. It is getting physically painful to continue watching because of hos f***ing STUPID this shit is.

They do a commercial break and the princess is getting ready for her literal song and dance, and that general dude is all "oh hey thanks for being a bro Cinque." He wants to apologize for Eclair getting hurt but who gives a shit I mean she's a knight huh? Then they talk about the demon briefly, and how going outside of the 'protected areas' is super dangerous, and they... have wars to... keep themselves strong or something?

Leave it to Eclair to show up to bust them apart because she totally isn't jealous or anything of other people talking to Cinque.

Yes we wouldn't want anybody turning into balls would we?

Now it's just Cinque and Eclair, and she's all "you eat yet?" and he goes "Nope" and she's like "okay let's get some grub" while the scientists and Yuki watch.

They run off and have a meal together, and of course now we move back into the harem aspect of the show which I had nearly forgotten existed to begin with.

Urge to kill rising.

But now Eclair has to tell the hero something. She has to thank him for all of his help, after all, because she couldn't save the princess alone. He's sure she'd have thought of something though I mean she was the captain and stuff right?

Oh but then our dynamic spy duo is joined by the troublesome trio.

Oh god not YOU three again.

Oh and then Gaul shows up to bust the 'date' apart because that's how he is. He's got to tell them about how awesome they were fighting that demon and stuff, and something was up with his sister but he'll find out later and blah blah something about the war still going on or something.

Oh and all of those girls are joining them for this conversation I guess?

Everyone laughs and then the scientists gets a letter scroll, and has to leave. SCIENCE CALLS!

Back to the Princess who suddenly has a guest as she prepares for her concert. The guest is Leo, and they sit and have themselves a chat about what a bitch Leo's been lately. She done screwed everything up and says she'll apologize properly later... wait didn't she already? Now you are timewarping again? Ugh.

Pinkie says that she's a better leader thanks to all the shit Leo put her through and she's glad that Leo was just thinking of her safety this whole time, which disappoints Leo because now she's got nothing to talk about.

This may be the best thing I've ever seen in this show.
This expression.

Pink is mad or something, I guess because Leo went back on her own words about relying on the stars and shit and not trusting her friend. Since they were kids Leo's always looked after her, but she doesn't have to do that anymore or something. Leo says that she's wrong and that it's the other way around, she got her support from pinky, and she cries and they promise to be the best of friends forever and ever.

Meanwhile the general and assistant of Biscotti watch this tender moment and talk about how they need to keep quietly talking between nations or something? I'm confused. Are you trying to be subtly diplomatic and set up for another story or...

Screw it. My head hurts too much. Oh hey it's time for the princess to rehearse but at least this time Leo will be watching so it's all good.

NIGHTTIME GLOWSTICK RAVE POP IDOL TIME. Wait hold on what are y-

You son of a bitch.

The concert begins! Magical stuff flies all over and oh is that a naked princess? Why yes. Yes it is. Who suddenly sports a 3D model because THIS IS NOW IDOLMASTER. No wait it's Vocaloid because she sounds exactly like one.

And of course they're going to force us to sit through this whole thing. Complete with all of the super popular moe bullshti that is super popular right now, and the worst camera angles you've seen this side of art school graduation.  Then they try ripping off Macross Frontier with the changing outfits and kaleidoscopic colors all over and Eclair is super embarrassed to have her arm grabbed by the hero and wait what.

Then Yuki tells the fox baby "that's the girl that saved you". So baby decides to... do some magic stuff out of nowhere? Like magic vines come out of the ground or whatever? But the show must go on!

I love how dead his eyes look here.

This show is just getting striaght up bizarre at this point, flashing panties withthe princess and people just creeping into the corners of these frames. Oh and then a fox spirit comes out the vines and goes flying off and the fox continues to look at the stage like "what the hell am I looking at".

Then we see Rico is sitting at the base of some tree all sad as the music fades away. What's that about? FIND OUT NEXT TIME.

Why does there have to be a next time. WHY?!?!