Kenzen Robo Daimidaler Episode FINAL - Showdown! Sound Robots V.S. Daimidaler

Thank god, we are finally at the end of this yellow brick road. Except instead of yellow bricks, it's a lot more like a road made of gold-plated shit.

It's seriously almost impressive how much effort was put into making something so utterly bad. The gold-plated shit analogy is perfect of the lengths which the creators went to in order to put this thing together.

I like to think there's hope that they might some day make something worth watching. Unfortunately, Daimidaler just isn't it.

Time to dive into the final episode. The chances of it redeeming itself are pretty low, but maybe we can get a couple of laughs before it's all said and done.

They've decided to start the show off by making it clear this is the final episode, by attempting to make it look a lot more like a movie. In which they start by getting ready to blow a bunch of shit up.

Prepare to fire all of the staff who came up with this shitty concept!

So the commander is all pissed off because the military is, and I quote, "attacking unarmed people without warning".

First of all, you're totally armed with GIANT F***ING ROBOTS, and secondly, that is exactly what you were about to do to someone else.

F***ing hypocrite.

Y'know, if this were ANY other show... I'd almost be tempted
to say it were trying to make a powerful statement.

I'd like to point out that the guy talking about 'going beyond the law to protect the public' is actually the military official attacking them, and not the commander - which is an interesting thing to note. Of course, the show is still pretty much shit, and this arc just kind of came out of nowhere. I can't help but wonder: why the hell did they go with THIS as their last episode?

So some robots go underground to take out their mainframe, those kids are skulking around up above, and they can't get to their robots. Then one of them seems to find them or something? But now we're underground where some dudes are trying to get to the underground hangar, and it seems like they've found it?

Then a giant robot seems to be incapable of hitting three children running around a quaint little Japanese neighborhood. Also something about the robots being controlled remotely? Who cares! They should have real dudes with real guns down there, not giant robots that can't hit shit.

Turns out, running from giant robots is hard, but then one of the Daimidalers shows up to save the day. Actually both of them? But how is this possible you may ask? Turns out it's the scientists because, y'know, they made the god damned things.

Also costume changes because, uh, reasons or whatever. Who wants to see cleavage?

Blah blah blah look at my tits blah.

Time for the kids to get in the robots now and grope one another and basically fantasize about getting groped and all that good shit, and basically get one another off because that's what this show is really all about.

Also, more boobs and more getting excited seeing other
people excited. I guess that's the demographic they were
really hoping to nail?

Then the scientists ride off, and the military dude is all 'oh shit I can't see two giant robots charging right at me or something for some reason!' and then they pose and go 'we're here' and stuff.

Also the Penguins are like 'uh what the hell is going on' and Shouma is like "man I don't even know". Then robots fighting and getting beaten. More Penguins watching on and going 'uh, so what do we do here? I mean, this is kind of what we wanted, right?'

Yet they can't feel happy about all of this, and Ritz runs off to go... save the Daimidalers from getting beaten by those other Daimidalers so that she can beat them later?

Also suddenly oh noes the heroes are looking down or something but suddenly Ritz saves the day because, uh, y'know. Also Shouma is there? Time for Ritz to do a thing and beat on some of these generic robots.

Also leave it to the main hero to call out the 'villain' for her stupid antics.

I get the feeling this is going to turn him on or something super
hard.

Kiriko asks her boyfriend to turn back into a human, and some Penguins are all 'oh god Ritz is fighting' and they watch and stuff, and the mliitary is all like 'uh wait what is going on why are they here too this makes no sense we're trying to kill those guys for the Penguins what the hell'.

Then they decide to... 'fight back' against the 'tyranny'...?

I'm even more confused than I was five minutes ago, and that's saying something.

But they decide to attack the Penguins too, and pull out their... 'double X' mode which... turns all of the robots into... some other robots? They wind up turning into... you guessed it: A GIANT DAIMIDALER. BECAUSE THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

I'd love to point out just how impractical all of this is.
But honestly, it's not even worth it at this point.

Also they call it SUPER SOUND robot. Commercial break nakedness!

After the break, we find the animation budget has dropped.... considerably.

Seriously, look at those aliased lines. What the hell did they
ink this in, f***ing MS Paint??

Then Shouma leaps over as a Penguin and is all "hey babe I'll turn you on" and Kiriko gets all nervous and stuff, and can't help but notice what a giant f***ing schlong dude has.

For some reason it only just now dawned on her what a
giant f***ing monster penis her boyfriend has.

I'm just gonna leave this here for you to consider.

WE GET IT, IT IS A PENIS, JESUS CHRIST.

Then Kiriko gets all turned on, and the animation quality continues to be absolute ass.

I get that you're trying to go for a 'focal blur' effect, but the focus
is so entirely wrong that it makes you go 'wait what no'.

I'm going to pause here for a moment to play a little game I like to call 'what's wrong with this picture'.

See, things that are very far away tend to be blurry by nature - it's hard to make out the finer details. While things that are close are very easy to identify. Close objects can appear blurry if you are focusing on something further in the distance. However, the way this shot is composed, the focus should be on the heroes - the Daimidalers. Instead, they've chosen to focus on the GIANT ENEMY ROBOT that isn't even remotely close to being entirely on the screen.

So all this shot accomplishes is completely f***ing with your eyesight, and actually making my eyes hurt because who the hell thought this was even close to accurate. I'm pretty sure the only reason these things look blurry is because they wound up realizing how ass all of the artwork was (take another look, you can still see how aliased the heroes are which is only somewhat obscured by the focus blur effect), and basically at the last minute someone went 'oh shit uhhh quick save me random photoshop filters!'

Then the giant robot starts destroying shit, Ritz transforms, and the heroes yell things and fly through the air and attack the giant robot all in wonderful 480p quality.

Seriously, all of the linework is completely SHIT this episode.

You mean besides the fact that it looks like you are, in fact,
standing in the sunroof to a clown car? Nothing.

But oh noes not all is well with the giant robot, turns out having a giant robot comprised of other smaller giant robots has some serious side-effects like 'not being able to properly transform'. Or something about repairs. Pretty sure the giant robots that were all utterly destroyed earlier probably have nothing to do with this.

Also the fact that you've made a giant robot that will inevitably destroy your entire city for the sake of 'saving' it.

More terrible line work, heroes decide to all attack the same point all at once, and then... a message to Beauty Salon to stall for time to complete repairs?

"Put down your weapons and surrender."

How about you just... follow through with your attack guys? I mean, you have no intention of surrendering anyways so... also they gave you this line once already? Why would you have any reason to believe they have any intention of letting you walk away from this?

Also blah blah the Penguins are awesome because of their stuff, and blah blah you guys are evil or something blah blah masturbation and sex is bad.

For whatever reason this winds up making them all choose not to attack or whatever? Kiriko has a stupid attack of conscience, and tells Shouma to go away in order to save his life or whatever because seh cares? Then ejects his ass into space, charges up, and oh boy she's gonna blow herself up for reals this time because love.

Oh but suddenly repairs complete giant robot flies into the sky and oh no Kiriko is getting hammered into the ground by... eye lasers.

Yes. Eye lasers. And lasers in general. Also Ritz keeps swearing in English.

Meanwhile those science girls are shaking their asses in the screen and going 'lol wireless transmission they so dumb'.

Also flashing their tits and nips because I guess someone was unhappy that they didn't have enough naked girls in this episode, they figured their audience might get bored.

Then the chest of the Super Sound glows or whatever, and those science girls fire a rocket at a tower and blows it up and the giant robot goes dead in the air. Because people are dumb, and then it just goes insane because reasons? Also Kiriko is down, but wakes up to Shouma's face. Turns out he's just human again. How, you ask?

Because this guy, quite literally, shows up out of f***ing
nowhere at all, and saves Shouma from plummeting to Earth.

He plots some stupid thing on Shouma's head, and 'per the emprah' infuses Hi-ERO particles into Shouma to turn him into a human because plot.

Dude goes 'say hi to Kyouko' and leaps off, and the couple has a tender moment and kisses and shit and oh gee look the entire city just got raped by your giant robot because you're a f***ing moron.

Then the heroes are all 'okay time to finally get together and do a thing' and everyone else is confused by don't worry, they're just going to cover the recap yet again to catch everyone up to speed in case you forgot what happened twenty seconds ago.

Then Kyouko remembers Henry, gets all quiet and lets herself get groped to hell because this is the Final Battle. Cue music and all that love fondling animation you've come to expect from this show.

Also, sexual innuendo.

So people start making out and getting busy, while Ritz is all like 'okay seriously this is stupid'. Everyone's charged up ro whatever, the military commander is all 'what the hell even is this' and the Daimidaler commander says some shit.

... what?

"It is the proper growth of sound youth."

Wait. I'm even MORE confused than I was TEN minutes ago, and I've been pretty confused from the start.

This is such a goddamn mess, you've got three audio tracks all competing at once. You've literally got the heroes calling out their attack formations and stuff, the commanders having a discussion about... something, and the music all trying to be LOUD AND IN YOUR FACE, all on top of GIANT ROBOTS DOING THINGS.

Holy f**k this is the most confusing mess I've ever seen, and I've watched Mars of Destruction!

The audio mixing is terrible, and I can't even pay attention to what's going on. I can't even tell what I'm supposed to be paying attention to, it's such a mess. Then the Daimidalers join hands, and do a thing while two old men talk about... uh, how 'wrong' it is to boink other people while you're dating or whatever? I honestly can't tell because they're talking so fast and there's too much going on to process it all.

It's frankly impossible to keep up.

But then suddenly the fight is over, Tokyo is basically all destroyed, and the slow version of the main theme plays while the heroes are all 'so okay hi Ritz thanks for helping, guess we can join hands or whatever'. Also those old men are still bickering. Then a thing appears out of the sky, the Penguin Emprah shows up, and he's all 'so uh yeah, just wanted to say why we're doing everything we're doing.'

It boils down to 'we don't actually produce any of these bullshit particles so we have to harvest them from other species in order for us to be able to have kids. So uh, sorry?'

"See? Our tails really aren't penises, despite our desires
for the contrary."

Also Humans are just really horny or something? He was going to turn everyone into penguins but he decides that's a stupid thing because you guys can change Penguins into people because of how saturated they are or whatever?

Yeah this doesn't make a whole lot of sense but they're using the last five minutes to justify the entire show.

Also also the Penguins are all going home to their parallel dimension since they can get home. Also also also, thanks for the tech guys, we can totally go home and save our species now or whatever, sorry about your world, and also Ritz you can't come with us because I say so.

Ritz says she doesn't want to be separated again, emprah realizes she was that little girl from back then, and he dubs her an honorary Penguin, and decides she's now technically his daughter or whatever? Who cares. Everyone is happy she's now family, they dub her PenRitz, lead a cheer, and everyone is happy, the end.

Time to say goodbye now. By which I mean, the two sides bitterly fighting one another get together, wait for things to go dark and stand around talking about... uh...

On second thought it's best I don't know.

Now that it's finally dark, some kids make out, other kids say goodbye to other kids, the two leaders shake hands and say we're really on the same side, some girl's old dad winds up eating another banana, other people do other things, and Ritz says "I won't say goodbye" in English while vanishing, leaving her hat behind.

Then the teleporter thing flies into the air, and transports itself out of the universe, and everything was finally over forever the end.

"Except we don't mean that literally since there's nothing
left to actually fight anymore."

End of series, thanks for watching, here have one last pinup because that's all we wanted to get out of this show, THE END FOR REALS THIS TIME.

Sweet mother of god. Just... I know this show is going to stick with me for awhile.

I've seen some bad things, and I've watched some terrible, terrible excuses for anime during the course of this blog, but this one really, really takes the cake.

I'm going to need some time to process all of this. Good god.