Dog Days' Episode 10 - One-On-One In The Skies and On Land

Oh good. It's time for more Dog Days.

I truly cannot contain my excitement.

The above lines were sarcasm. Woooo.

I guess it is time to begin that thing we do.

Yay. Look at this. It is amazing.

They remind us about all the things that happened in the last episode, and remind us of the shit we have to 'look forward to' before rolling right into the intro.

I'm still torn on whether this is better or worse than last season. I think I'm settling on better though. Because despite the MANY many things wrong with it, at this point at least it is sort of reveling in not having a goddamned point to any of this.

Anyways some dopey birds prepare to take off.

I cannot take Rico's bird seriously. At all. I just can't.

I. This f***ing bird man. It is killing me.

It looks like a goddamned marshmallow Peep!!!

JUST LOOK AT HOW GODDAMN DOPEY THIS THING LOOKS.

This show. Is f***ing murder on me.

So the girls run off a bridge and meet up with those other girls flying in the sky prepared to duke it out for fun, profit, and the enjoyment of one person in general. That person being Cinque.

Did I mention they're also technically fighting over Cinque at this point? That's kind of the whole 'rivalry' thing after all. Just wanted to make sure you didn't somehow miss that part because IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF THIS SHOW. WHAT WITH THEM CONSTANTLY TELLING US HOW AWESOME CINQUE IS AND HOW AMAZING HIS DICK MUST BE WHEN HE GETS ALL GROWED UP.

Oh and there's some other folks too, but their budget got cut mid-scene because they're not important at all.

Once again: I cannot take this seriously at all. I just. Can't.

Oh look. More troops. More dudes standing around waiting. Talk about tactics and shit. Blah blah Becky is supposed to fight Lady Hero and she's like "yeah okay cool I'll kick your ass and stuff". They decide to have a one-on-one fight too? Whatever. Then they're all shooting each other with hand lasers and stuff while other people watch and laugh.

Suddenly, this show feels like Dynasty Warriors. In fact, this setting would make for a pretty decent Dynasty Warriors game...

Anyways, there's more combat and stuff or whatever. I dunno. People get tunred into animal balls while.... running... a foot race.

I just want to curl into a ball and die now thanks.

Please kill me.

There's talk about prizes and special prizes for people who make it through and...

I got nothing. Nothing. I. I got nothing.

So remember that fight we were supposed to be watching? Six minutes in and we still haven't seen it yet.

Also some other dudes are sitting around doing jack shit.

Boy this is just some super exciting television.

Someone gets a crash course on how this stuff works now while drinking sake, while someone else is jealous because EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST HAVING SO MUCH GOSH DARNED FUN.

BECAUSE WAR. IS FUN.

She tries to deny what a monster she is, of course.

That she is not horrified by all of this simply reinforces my
belief that she is a goddamned monster.

She shows restraint though, and almost seven minutes into the show we FINALLY get to begin resolving the 'cliffhanger' from last episode, which is the sky battle THEY PROMISED WE WOULD SEE. It took them OVER FIVE MINUTES, which is A QUARTER OF THEIR ANIMATED RUN TIME to get to that thing they TOTALLY ESTABLISHED WOULD BE GOING ON AT THE END OF THE PREVIOUS EPISODE.

I'm starting to think that maybe Dragonball Z runs at a breakneck pace compared to this shit.

So Becky calls out and is like "YO I'M TOTES HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS LIKE I PROMISED!" and Milhi continues to be completely f***ing insane.

Completely. F***ing. Insane.

There are no consequences for anything. At all.

Anyways the girls finally get into the fighting thing, and shoot some stuff at the birds, turning this into some Touhou-inspired danmaku.

Probably.

And once more, Milhi and her soulless eyes continue to haunt my nightmares.

She makes Rena from Higurashi look stable in comparison.

So more stuff goes boom which clears up the curtain fire and then a giant explosion goes out and goes boom and rains down on everyone down below, and Becky admires how pretty the explosions are.

Also, they take a break from the fight to explain to the audience how these things work.

I mean it. They actually address the audience directly.

NOBODY. F***ING. CARES.

So this is a good time to pause the episode and switch over to Cinque who is sitting next to Eclaire talking about how awesome those other girls are. Which leads us into a training flashback.

Then we get to see more birds charging other birds on the ground, and then Cinque's cousin is fighting with Lady Hero. There's some posturing about how neither will give up and stuff and some explosions happen but then she switches forms and gets a leg up on Lady Hero with a fun new technique she's never seen which makes her happy or whatever.

It's a pretty awesome sequence, really, at ends with rain falling from the sky, but then everything gets frozen which puts Lady Hero at a disadvantage. Again, very cool.

"Oh shit, my legs got froze! Stupid rain!"

The animation in this sequence is f***ing superb. Hands down the BEST part. But the Lady winds up freeing herself thanks to all of the force, but turns out getting disarmed and, ultimately, blown up.

She doesn't like it when she gets blowed up.

This is priceless, not gonna lie. Perfectly done. TENOUTTATEN.

What is she looking at, you may ask? Well...

A really, really, really big f***ing sword is what.

The entire battlefield stops to go 'what the f****************k' as the lady brings it down to bear on the tiny girl, who has only a mere boomerang to protect her.

I somehow don't think that'll turn out well.

It's just a hunch though.

So after practically leveling half the damn country, turns out that yep, Cinque's cousin is done, and the Lady is pretty d-

Hold that thought.

She looks pretty happy about this for some reason.

In the end, it's a draw after all. Cue commerci-

GAH!

Now we go back to Cinque fighting.... with Gaul? Wait, when was it established they were gonna fight? Also, WHY DID THEY RESOLVE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT FIGHT BEFORE THE ORIGINALLY ESTABLISHED FIGHT?

But yeah, Cinque and Gaul go grow themselves up and basically show how sexy they'll be when they grow up to the entire world and basically go all out. Adel is pretty pleased with this.

BECAUSE YOU'RE F***ING INSANE!!!

She keeps bouncing around and getting all giddy and shit over people fighting, and Cinque and Gaul basically have fun trying to blow one another up. Again the animation is top f***ing tier, which is pretty awesome and I can't even be mad about. But then they cut away to THAT OTHER FIGHT FINALLY. Except instead of Milhi and Becky, we instead get to see Rico and Crazy Squirrel yelling at one another about how they are mutually short and flat-chested and can't let their people down.

Anyways those other girls are still making Explosions In The Sky. See? That was a clever musical reference. Because they're idols. HA HA HA kill me please.

Milhi pulls out a sword and is about to rip Becky in half but she throws some cards which doesn't do a lot of good, and Becky nearly gets ripped in half. There's more explosions and everyone else is like "uh, damn, this is kinda... y'know."

Then we get into another flashback of that night Milhi and Becky spent where Becky talks about how she thought she wouldn't have a place here during this whole vacation what with being the token best friend and all that.

"I mean, aside from 'that other harem girl'."

Milhi tells her what an important guest she is, and...

... and this happens for some reason...

In the end Becky is glad she came and was able to make new friends and stuff. And they talk about how great it would be to beat the hell out of one another before an entire watching nation. Then we get back to the fight and they're like "LOVE AND PASSION AND I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH THEM" and more explosions in the sky.

Like, so many damn explosions. So many it washes out those other two girls because, y'know. And once again the entire battlefield is like "oh damn" and then, well, everyone kinda loses.

Gee it's sure a great thing NOBODY EVER DIES.

Both girls realize they are about to fall from the sky but then Cinque comes in to SAVE THE F***ING DAY.

And yet you basically let them try to explode one another over you.

They're like CINQUE YOU SO DREAMY! and Gual is like "shit I done lost I mean NO I DIDN'T I TOTALLY MEANT TO DO THAT."

*sigh*

The girls thank Cinque for being SO DREAMY and then their clothes explode in his arms, leaving him with two naked members in his arms.

They knew exactly what they were doing when they animated
this entire sequence. THEY KNEW.

And the nations are like "HAAAAAAWT".

Then some fireworks go off, and the war seems to come to a close. Or maybe not? I dunno. Nanami is like "I done came back" and some other fights happen or whatever, but who cares because they're pretty much just rushing through it all since the end of the episode is coming up. Adel continues to freak out and not rush off to Pastillage's aid since they're in last place, but don't worry, the Demon King has the answer to everything.

That's it. SOMEONE is getting punched over this.

I'm so mad right now. Just so mad.

NOBODY WILL EVER RECOGNIZE MY TOTALLY UNIQUE
SIGNATURE WEAPONS OR FIGHTING STYLE THIS WAY!

Oh god why is this episode still not over yet why does it
feel so much longer than a normal episode.

At least no one was fooled by the terrible disguise.

Then Cinque is like "oh cool, we'll take you on".

I'm sure you will.

Narration talks about how this whole thing is super awesome, but this is ONLY THE FIRST DAY. MEANING THERE IS STILL SOMEHOW MORE OF THIS TO GO. ROLL CREDITS.

DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID ROLL F***ING CREDITS.

Everyone in this show is insane. Everyone. Yet... this is still definitely better than last season.

... but it's still pretty f***ing horrible when you think about it for more than two seconds.