Dog Days' Episode 12 - Final Stage

I am really looking forward to being done with this show. While it is an improvement over the last season, it still suffers from not really knowing what its target audience is supposed to be. Which is distressing to say the least. I can only imagine they must be trying to tag the teen demographic, what with all the sexy jokes and fanservice, but I'm not sure if the show can rely on this, given its rather child-like nature.

But what do I know? I'm just a disembodied voice shouting at the Internet.

Strap in yo butts, it's time to get this over with.

Daytime at a palace. Becky wakes up with the crazy squirrel who doesn't want to wake up, but then they remember its the last day of the festival thing and there's gonna be one hell of a party.

ROLL INTRO. ALSO PREPARE FOR THIS EPISODE TO BE DRAMATICALLY BORING. This is my prediction and I am sticking to it.

After the intro we get to see Cinque and friends playing with a boomerang, and some birds flying a platform around. I guess Becky is giving some folks a ride with her new pal, the nutty princess.

We'll probably see Gaul transform today. Probably.

Looks like the heroes are being traded or something between the kingdoms for whatever reason. Who cares. But this also means they'll all be trading uniforms! So expect that to get hilarious I guess.

So Milhi is on stage with the trio of terror, and they...  introduce their new 'hero'.

I can't explain why but I am suddenly repulsed by this.

Milhi explains that they all traded heroes because that's how f***ing bored they are. Meanwhile over in Galette, Gaul and Leo introduce Becky as their new hero.

I am seriously disturbed by this. It's gotta be the colors. Like,
the outfits were tailored for the individual, so seeing them on
someone else just doesn't feel right at all.

The 'weapon' is a replica, or so they say. Then we check in over at that other palace, where everyone without boobs starts to figure out this is probably going to end... poorly.

Yuki seems to already know what is up.

And just in case you thought this couldn't get any weirder...

It immediately does.

I keep telling you she is insane. Seriously. Cou is f***ing batshit.

Cinque walks in and they all expect something super sexy. They are... disappointed.

"Aw yeah, bitchin' coat."

Even Eclaire seems disappointed her heartthrob won't be toting
a miniskirt today for some reason.

Then Adel and that demon king are sitting around talking about how the heroes are going home soon, while one of them performs maintenance on her gun. Which I will point out is really well done because there are a ton of tiny parts. Also, a Demon King wonders if he could go over to the other world with those heroes. Y'know. Just because.

Y'know. Reasons.

Adel promises to shoot him in the back of the head if he repeats that and then it is evening and... I guess the thing is over? Or is it? I'm confused. Then... I guess some of them leave for some reason.

Wow. Somehow this episode is shaping up to be even MORE
boring than I had anticipated.

Those three head off leaving Yuki and Eclaire with Cinque, and they decide to head off for the concert stage. Meanwhile, I guess Cou opens up some kind of prison library archive or whatever, and lets Rico and that other chick wander its shelves. Seems it's something they wanted to do when they were little, but she warns them that there are traps everywhere in this library. Well, everywhere that's not the first floor.

Of course, she's here to get something for Milhi's ceremony to do the return thing, and she has some questions to ask them. Also, there's a gem they're here to retrieve. But taking it sets off a trap and sends them down to the lower floors.

It's not like you'd have actually died or anything. Or did you
somehow forget about that feature of your world yet again?

Well now that they're here, they need to find a way to get back up to the top. But before they can fly back up, it winds up closing the hole above them, so Rico goes to check the nearby map and nearly gets crushed by an Acme 100 Tonne weight.

Cue Noir telling them to be careful and immediately getting all of them stuck in a rope trap.

I am amazed at their restraint in not flashing panties this time.

Cue the montage of traps as they wander the halls. Eventually they get tired, but as soon as the princess sits down, they're re-enacting Indiana Jones with a giant boulder chasing them. Commercial!

Now we're over at Becky riding a boat with Leo and Gaul, and feeling unsettled. Like something just isn't quite right for some reason.

I can't explain why, but I love these expressions so much.

But then they wind up falling EVEN FURTHER down thanks to another pit trap, but turns out it's just a cubby for them to avoid the boulder and they are now safe-ish.

Meanwhile, everyone else realizes that some of them are missing, and they tell Adel about some people maybe getting lost in that treasure vault.

Oh look, it's all his fault again. This seems to be a theme.

Adel says that all the traps were deactivated, but demon dude is like "yeah but y'know the place is old" and then we cut back to the group getting to some kind of giant spiral column with stairs going up, and they decide to take a break. Cou feels bad for not taking better care of the place over the years, and they all decide to shoulder blame for being stuck here. Also they're totally gonna get saved soon, right?

Anyways this is the perfect time to talk about the return ritual thing.

Yes well that was before they figured out how to break the
ritual to avoid all of the worst-case scenario stuff.

Of course all of that apprehension Rico felt before was washed away once they realized they'd see him again because some asshole greenlit a second season. They've done well with it wouldn't you say? Not a damn thing has happened the entire time, so I'd say that was money well spent.

Cou takes this time to talk about how she's worried anyways, what with how Becky lives in some other world devoid of the level of insanity they live with on a daily basis. I mean, who would WANT to come back to this place?

She then proceeds to basically talk to herself and console herself while the others just politely stand there. They finally say it's cool to be a little sad, but they really need to get teh hell out of here, so they should probably get out soon so she can spend as much time with Becky as possible.

But first they need to set off yet another trap. The exit seals itself off, and up above, the entire ceiling starts coming down on top of them.

Squirrel princess decides to try doing something, but the drill ceiling made of stone stops itself, much to her surprise. Turns out, Adel wound up accessing the admin panel up on the first floor and is like 'lol found 'em'.

Also it is now up to Cinque and Rebecca to save them before the trap reactivates. Oh but not before the Demon King gives Becky a purple gem.

This is going exactly where you think it is.

It is at this time we learn that both Adel AND the Demon King are total f***ing pervs. They carry around gems that show how sexy members of the opposite gender will be when they grow up.

*sigh* Let's move along then. Time to save the day, look boobtacular, and be heroes. Adel does a teleport spell thing, and those three down below keep trying to escape. Oh no, the trap is moving and things look bad. Whatever will happen.

Oh right, those two show up to save the day. But Becky is like 'yo let me do the thing' and he's like 'cool' so Becky does the thing, and transforms.

... or it could just turn her broom into a cannon. That's cool too.

She then proceeds to blow the giant stone drill ceiling to hell while Cinque is like 'oh damn'. And THEN Becky appears to go Super Saiyan-ish. Also, she hurls the trap quite literally into orbit, and opens the ceiling for them to get out.

Oh and suddenly Cinque realizes Becky looks kind of growed up. Guess that happens when you go Super Saiyan.

Is she a jukebox hero, with stars in her eyes?

They float down to the others, and Cinque gets all but one of the hugs. Cou on the other hand just starts blubbering like the child she is.

Seriously. They are just not even subtle about their adoration
for Cinque at this point. He's like George f***ing Clooney.

Becky is glad things turned out okay, and Noir is like 'man I was here...' and then Becky is like "oh hey concert" and Cou forgets all about the crying.

Meanwhile, another princess is told she's on in five, and also they are on a magical cruise liner that seems out of place what with the technological level of this society, but what the hell do I know anymore?

How did they manage to get a luxury cruise liner in this world
you ask? F**k it, a wizard did it that's how.

Everyone is there safe now, and Milhi has to go and do a thing so people cheer and all that and now we get a nighttime rave concert full of all the crappy j-pop you've come to expect form this shitfest of a show.

At least the rave lights are all the same color for once, so it's not quite AS seizure inducing.

Did you want to watch a shitty Macross ripoff featuring shameless sexual pandering of what appears to be a minor royal figure? Minor as in underaged mind you.

You're in luck then, because someone just hit puberty
and decided to start showing off skin because that sells.

Also I guess she's been naked in front of the world a few times so it really doesn't matter how much she shows off at this point.

There's fireworks and flying birds and happy people, whatever. I don't care because it's not Macross and it really sucks in comparison to that. Because it's f***ing MACROSS you just can't outdo that shit.

People cheer or whatever, the song lasts for f***ing ever, and you just hope that it f***ing ends already so you can immediately forget this ever even happened.

Oh yeah, and roll credits because that's the entire episode.

So aren't you glad you spent your time watching this? Once again, an entire episode where not a god damned thing occurred.

I'm really having a hard time deciding which series was better. For all the things I hate about this show, it's got things I actually do like, but they're just buried in a mess of them just not knowing how to f***ing use what they have to make an actually cool story out of it.

My anger for this show mostly stems from me KNOWING these guys can make a good f***ing show, and here they just keep NOT doing that.

What a f***ing waste of time Dog Days has been. At least there's only one more episode for me to put up with. Then I can just try to forget about it and NOT watch the third season because I just cannot put up with that bullshit right now. I need a break from this shit. I need a new show.

One more episode. God I can't wait. Anything has to be better than this.