Sailor Moon SuperS Episode 10 - Forest of Illusion! Invitation of a Beautiful Fairy

A thought occurs to me: I need to start watching good shows again. Something to help counterbalance all of the atrociousness I keep putting myself through. Something that reminds me not all shows are bad.

Maybe I ought to catch up with Shokugeki no Soma. God I love that show. Instant good feel material. Sailor Moon on the other hand? Not so much.

I do usually want to sit down and watch this show, but it's not quite the same. At this point, it's really just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes for this particular train wreck. So far, it's doing a great job of making me feel incredibly uncomfortable what with the whole Pegasus/Chibiusa thing now.

Let's dive in and get this over with shall we?

So today's episode promises that Fish Eye will finally do a thing! It's about f***ing time! Also some bullshit about fairies and... tightrope... walking?

... god damn it Japan, just... just roll the stupid intro already.

Remember the days when everything could be described as 'stripping (inanimate object)'? Me too. Part of me misses that. If only because while it showed a sort of laziness, at least it was the sort of laziness you could understand. But this? This defies belief.

The episode starts up in a book store where Chibiusa happens across a very special book.

This is a super awesome design. Why can't we see more shit like
THIS instead of the crap we get on a weekly basis?!

Full disclosure: I always had a bit of a soft spot for fairies. I thought they were friggin' awesome growing up! Like, they were just super magical. Imagine teenaged me, when I discovered that Japan had some really fun twists on how fairies looked at stuff. Man, I loved looking at those designs (still do to some extent).

Seeing this design really makes me think of nostalgic stuff like Elemental Gearbolt, a PS1 light gun game. That's a game that had some bitchin' designs.

I guess what I'm saying here is, when I see things like this, I can tell there are definitely some creative types working on the show. But then they have to go and make the kind of shit we've suffered in the last five episodes and it makes me lose hope.

Anyways Usagi tells her they're leaving soon, looks at what she's looking at and is like 'holy crap that is awesome!'

I guess it's okay at best, compared to the cover.

But Usagi tells her to put it back because there's no way a child can afford such a book and they need to get going.

A true gold digger, just like her mother.

Usagi asks who, and we jump into the title slide because we're going to find out. Eventually.

They head home and Usagi is like "this is dumb I totally didn't spend my money on you and you totally owe me and I'm completely going to take this off of your future allowance that you probably don't even have because the future has no currency."

I may have embellished a little there.

Anyways the brat is reading the book as they walk along and ignoring her future mom in the past and just so happens to walk right into some dude who is drawing.

I just wanted to take a moment to point out how incredibly
unlikely this scenario really is.

Oh, but wait! This just so happens to be the guy who did all those illustrations in that book she's currently engrossed in! So despite the fact that he knocked her over and is sitting in a very, shall we say uncomfortably close position, she of course has to know if he's the guy who did the book and would he please give an autograph?

But then we cut to her looking through the book later that night, and Pegasus wants to know what the deal is, so she shows him.

"Eh, it's okay but it could use more sparkles. And rainbows.
And horses."

He reveals a secret though: Those flowers look a lot like the ones from his home! Wow.

I'm not sure what you mean to say with this considering
YOU LIVE IN DREAMS OR SOMETHING.

I'm starting to get very, very confused all of a sudden.

Supposedly, dude sees these flowers in his dreams though, and when Pegasus asks if she met the dude, we immediately fade into a flashback earlier where a grown man took a child to a park.

...

More proof that Usagi is the worst. Mother. IN THE UNIVERSE.

I'm sorry. I am truly, truly, well and truly sorry. But this? This has my mind screaming. Because HOLY F***ING SHITBALLS. WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHRIST. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THIS DOES NOT LOOK IN SOME WAY SUSPECT. A GROWN MAN TAKES A LITTLE GIRL HE MET ON THE STREET TO A PARK TO TALK? STRANGER DANGER, STRANGER DANGER! THIS IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.

He asks if she's into flowers and she's like 'nah I just like your fairies' and he's like 'oh that's cool, nobody ever said that to me before awesome'. And she asks if fairies are real, as if she shouldn't somehow already know this what with maybe being 900 years old. Or not. I'm still confused on this because they are very inconsistent!

Anyways he tells her he just sees them in his dreams and he doesn't see them all the ti-

WHY ARE YOU EVEN BRINGING THIS UP?!?!?!

He gets all embarrassed and shit and is like 'man I don't even know what that would be like' and so of course Chibiusa straight up tells him exactly what that'd be like.

I do not like where this is going not one bit at all nope nope
nope ABORT ABORT DANGER DANGER.

Then they... laugh uncomfortably back this and we end the flashback and she tells Pegasus that bro was pretty cute, and Pegasus is like 'yeah well I'm sure he has some super nice dreams and stuff but maybe you should REALLY RECONSIDER WANDERING OFF WITH STRANGE MEN YOU MEET ON THE STREETS.'

Who am I kidding, bro is a goddamn winged unicorn who wants to get with a little girl.

Cut to the bar!

Maybe it's just me but something seems different.
Oh wait, no it doesn't!

Hawk's Eye and Tiger's Eye are looking at photos and not liking their options for today.

Uhhhhh.....

Not this this again.

*groans*

But don't you worry.

If you weren't disgusted before, you certainly are now.

I for one have never heard this, and the implications here aren't simply that dude is into older ladies, he is into goddamn octogenarians.

At least I'm not the only one horrified by these implications.

Also, Hawk's Eye is all about da Benjamins because he also points out that young girls 'don't have money'.

Now, I can understand the whole point of wanting us to know for a fact that our villains are completely horrible people, but this conversation brings up some very distressing questions for me. Like first of all: Why? Why is this conversation taking place? In what way will it advance the plot? Why do we need to know that one villain is a pedophile and the other is into GMILFs? That one is a gold digger, and the other could care less about money? But those are just the surface questions which are nothing compared to the real questions I have about these guys. Are they human?

It's a very important question you see because the insinuation by the show suggests they are not in fact even human to begin with, but that like with previous 'invasions' they are aliens with humanoid forms. If they're aliens, how do they know about anything Japanese? Or why do they have some kind of importance over money? For that matter why is money even a concern since they literally have magic that allows them to do whatever the f**k they want whenever they want? They clearly have everything they could ever desire, short of human companionship, but even that is in question. So are they human? Or did they used to be human?

Questions I don't expect will ever be answered.

They continue arguing over women when Fish Eye finally shows up and decides to do something.

Have I mentioned yet how bad they all are at their job?

Also, I just now noticed Fish Eye has some very unique hands. I'm not sure if her hands looked like that before. I may need to take a look back, or at least pay attention to see if her hands stay like this.

Anyways, three guesses as to who she looks at, and she starts reeling around and talking about how much trouble she's in.

.... are you really sure about that guys? Just... just asking.

I am not sure I like the implications here either. Because either they are really so dumb they never noticed that Fish Eye is a girl, or they're straight up telling us that Fish Eye is not the gender she appears to be.

Either way, I don't like it.

Enter the forest! Where a dude is drawing flowers.

This might as well be a pitch for a horror movie. Jesus!

Chibiusa somehow heard that this guy hangs out in this forest a lot, and so she decided to begin stalking him? Which is kind of weird. He points out that a little girl shouldn't be in a dark forest by herself, and let's be honest, he's kinda right. That said, this should set off every warning bell in his mind that something isn't quite right here.

Yes because your Beanie Baby will totally keep you safe.

He tells her that she really shouldn't be running off alone and stuff but then some birds freak out and he sees some figure in the distance floating around. Complete with mystical jingly chimes and such.

Dunno about you but this screams SPOOKY GHOST to me.

Chibiusa doesn't see anything, but after dropping his sketchpad he runs off and Diana is like 'uh okay'. So they go running off after the guy who continues to chase this fleeting image, thinking it might be a fairy. He winds up in a magical place, and somehow Chibiusa is able to catch up too.

Well. Sure seems pretty magic.

He seems a bit confused at first since he doesn't remember there being a lake or pond or whatever this body of water is, but he ignores that and just waltzes right in anyways as the child and cat combo watch on.

He approaches and things get weirder, and he sees this lady just kinda standing there, smiling at him.

Looks pretty womanly to me.

They stand there staring at one another for like forever, and then go off and talk maybe? There's a lot of staring involved before some hard questions get asked.

Wow, rude!

She looks completely like a human. I'm not sure why this is even a question. I'm confused. She says that he knows the most about her though, and he calls her a fairy, which makes her laugh. But then Diana walks up and licks her foot, and she freaks the hell out.

Somebody on the art team this episode has a foot fetish.

Diana thinks she smells strangely delicious, and so Fish Eye goes running off to take a shower.

Yes, you read that correctly. She runs off to go take a shower.

An evil shower, but a shower nonetheless.

She asks the important question, like WHY ARE THERE CATS IN THIS WORLD?

Also, she kind of makes some kind of vow to herself.

When did the whole take over the world thing become a thing?
I thought you were just chasing after Pegasus?

Cue the commercial break and my eternal bewilderment at what is occurring.

Now we're at the shrine where Chibiusa and Diana share what they saw with all the other girls. Now the art guy is going into the forest every day, and he seems pretty different. Most of the girls think that he's just off to see a pretty lady, which he is, and Usagi wonders if maybe she really is a fairy, but Diana is like 'eh, she didn't taste like a human but reminded me of fish so probably not a fairy'.

Like she would know.

Yeah, because that made sense.

Artemis wonders if this is another enemy, and the other girls are like 'eh it's just Chibiusa' but then Rei sees dudes photo in the back of the book and the other girls are like "HOLY SHIT HOT" so THEY MUST GO AND INVESTIGATE THIS HOTNESS WITH THEIR OWN EYES. Usagi's not allowed to look though because Mamoru but the other girls are all SUPER INTO THIS NOW.

So just remember folks, if you ever need help, better hope you're a good looker or a woman, otherwise you are shit outta luck.

Now Fish Eye is humming to herself in the bar, applying makeup that nobody is ever going to see, all while... humming the theme song?

Also she is magic or something.

Oh and those other two are just now realizing that she is not in fact a guy. Or is she? I DON'T KNOW.

"Much like you, Hawk's Eye, I find myself feeling very confused."

Finally we're back to the forest and the girls are looking around and seem to be just a bit lost. The lake should be around somewhere, but they're 'late' because Usagi 'overslept'. Also they came without Chibiusa? But then some birds freak out and they go investigate the DEEP DARK AREA, and come across, uh, y'know. A thing.

It's a thing, alright.

Cue the static images and slow pans and all that as they narrate to one another lovey-dovey things and questions of fairy-ness. She says that he needs to catch her and he chases her around a tree and eventually catches her I guess? It happens behind the tree, but somehow they go from running around the tree to prone on the ground.

Uh.... huh.

This episode feels very different from all the others. Fish Eye isn't acting anything at all like those other two, which is weird. Anyways, he's caught her and now he wants to know who she really is like she promised she would do.

But first she wants to tell him something. She wants to know what his dreams are. So he tells her. He wanted to see all the 'true forms of plants in this world'. But now he thinks his dream was actually to meet her.

She's like "I want to see that dream" and he goes "I'll show you! I even told my folks about you!"

... wow. Fish Eye is somehow way more competent than anybody else so far. In fact, maybe if the entire show had been like this as opposed to watching Tiger's Eye fail at life, this could've been pretty great.

What the actual f**k are you going on about dude.

Anyways, he mentions he'd like to marry her, but then freaks out as he notices that a flower got bent during their little wrestling match, and Fish Eye laments that she'll need to take this dress to the cleaners. Although uh, she kind of has magic, right? I'm still confused on how all of that works.

But this of course shatters his image of a woman who is a fairy, and he thinks back on what Chibiusa said when she was tooting her own horn about what a truly fairy-like lady would be, and decides suddenly that the shine is off the apple and this is a complete deal breaker for him.

Wow, what a dick.

He straight up tells her, "Because your dress is more important to you than a flower, you cannot be a fairy." And then starts to walk off but then she's like "the hell bro, what is this shit?" and gets all mad.

To be fair, that kind of is a good reason to be mad.

But then she transforms into her TRUE FORM and puts him up on a board and rips his heart mirror out while Usagi and Future Kid watch and are like 'oh boy what a tweest!' so they transform.

By the way, I like how they just appeared out of nowhere when those other girls didn't seem as though they were even around.

So Fish Eye takes a peek, and doesn't find what she's looking for, and now she has to kill him for reasons. But oh no, those girls are on the scene. Sailor Moon and Chibi Moon becuase there aren't any other heroes in this show. But she decides to summon her monster to deal with this.

... what.

I. I mean. I kind of expected. I just. I didn't expect. I mean. I knew what was coming but... but even so...

Uh. Hi?

The two girls introduce themselves again, and then SUDDENLY A ROPE COMES OUT OF THE GROUND AND SAILOR MOON IS BALANCING ON A TIGHT ROPE.

Yes. This is happening. This is an actual thing that is actually,
really truly happening.

All of those good things I was saying about this episode? Gone.

I have no words.

I can't even. I mean. I thought they'd go with something but... this is pretty straight up. He is literally a tightrope walker. It is his only qualification as a monster.

I'm f***ing speechless.

Fish Eye leaves. And that's it for her.

Liederhosen? Bratwurst? Wait, no, sauerkraut! Nothing is
more terrifying than sauerkraut.

I.... I can't.

I literally cannot.

Wh-what.

But don't worry. Tuxedo Mask shows up.

Yeah you tell him I guess.

Then both people on the rope fall off, Tuxedo Mask catches Sailor Moon, tells his future daughter to summon and winged horse thing and she gives her mom the riding crop of doom and that's that.

I'm still traumatized by the tight rope walking monster. He was literally a tight rope walker. That was it. I just. I can't.

Artist dude wakes up to see people staring at him, wants to know where his fairy is, and Mamoru is like "I dunno brah musta been a dream?"

Uh....

UHHHHHHHHH.

Chibiusa is like "uh I'm sure they exist maybe if you ever see them you can introduce me?" and then Usagi wonders where everyone else is. And Chibiusa clarifies the whole thing, where they couldn't come with the others because of Usagi, so... her friends are just lost in the woods. Forever.

Pan up as the girls call out for the artist dude that they are fairies and will totally whisk him away to some magical place if only he will find them, the end.

WHAT.

THE.

F**K.

No, I mean that. WHAT IN THE F**K DID THEY JUST MAKE US WATCH.

The worst part about this whole episode? Not a single god damned thing happened that advanced the plot. Nothing new was established or discovered. We're in a holding pattern again.

They had a potential to really go somewhere great, and squandered it by focusing on things that really didn't matter. We could have learned a lot more about our villains, but instead we get subjected to a formula that is as old and tired as the folks working on this show.

And a tight rope walking monster? Oh god.

I'm going to go bang my head against the wall and see if any of this suddenly starts making more sense, because right now I think I should probably be dropping acid to figure out what the f**k I just watched.