- Post on a consistent schedule
- Come up with some crazy new gag that gets all the kids laughing
- Animal/Human sacrifices (depending on availability, vegetables are sadly not in much demand for the elder gods it seems)
- Aggressive internet campaign about how this is the bestest blog ever and you should read it or else you will die
Obviously, some of these are a tad more challenging than others. Also, some of those are downright cost-ineffective (have you seen how much a human sacrifice goes for these days? Don't even get me started on live goats).
So I guess I need to develop a schedule for when this blog updates, and make sure that I have a backlog of posts to go up at a specified time.
Benefits of this include getting through this series hella faster than anticipated. Downsides include having to space out your dose of hopefully mirthful amusement at my situation, and potentially stabbing myself in the eye with a fork because I've just marathoned six episodes of this show in a row.
Eh, we'll just have to see what happens.
So today's episode is listed as 'uncut'. Somehow I doubt this will result in nipple slips or questionable situations with young girls. Guess I'd better steel myself and just get this over with.
Overview says: Show takes place ON A BOAT IN THE WATER. Also, something about how the villain's big plan is to steal the energy of lovers, and how much it must suck for girls who don't have boyfriends.
Y'know, I understand the need for an episode overview. They are incredibly important, in fact downright invaluable during the production process of any sort of major media production. This does not mean, however, that you need to include this in every episode of your show. Seriously guy, you're making me question the intelligence of everyone involved in the production of your show and I haven't even watched it yet. But I think the horse is pretty dead by this point. I'll try to refrain from mentioning it EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.
Maybe I should just give an overview of every one of my posts before you read it. Ha, that'd teach them a lesson.
Welp, this episode starts off with Jadeite standing in a dark room watching Usagi throw her tiara. Already we are in promising creeper territory. Suddenly from behind him, some lady with blue hair named Tetis (who calls him master, whoa) is all laughing because he can't deal with a 'little girl'. I guess she's one of his cronies or something, because she reports directly to big boss-lady, who still hasn't managed to fire the guy despite repeated threats to do just that? Seriously, just get rid of the guy, he's a damned liability to your operation and totally ineffective as an operative.
Anyway, Tetis is mad because he won't pop angry boners in her direction, and is all "yeah, I totally have this awesome, brilliant idea, involving a cruise ship that sucks out peoples' souls", and suddenly he is all "WAIT WHAT HOW AM I SO DUMB TO NEVER THINK OF THIS BEFORE."
 |
| I really, really cannot make this shit up. |
Like the Titanic.
Yeah, I went there.
So Umino is doing his usual snobbish-rich-kid thing where he's all "oh, wish I'd have known you wanted to go Usagi, I totally gave some tickets away already, gee it's really kind of a shame you just said you would never ever fall in love with me if I were on the cruise with you but I guess it's too late now."
At least, that's what I read out of it. I dunno. Seems a bit passive aggressive, but given coke-bottle-nerdboy here is kind of out there anyway, what with the stalking and obsessions over other people? Not much of a stretch if you ask me.
But I guess he mentions a raffle thing going on where you can win tickets, and of course Usagi is using her entire allowance to get on, and fails, when she bumps into Rei. Who is far too busy for this kind of thing, but gives it a go anyway. Also, she totally uses her psychic powers to rig the game. Then has the audacity to get all excited about it.
Of course, she doesn't want to just give the tickets to Usagi, and clearly has no boyfriend, and Ami strolls along. Guess who gets the invite? My money's on Ami, because Rei hates the blondes. Anyhow, Usagi sneaks along and finds out that Rei talks Ami into it, and suddenly I am not even caring about this show at all. Because seriously, this is so cliche and we've seen in a thousand times and it's not like they are even trying to hide the fact that this is most likely just a filler episode meant to eat up time and give us absolutely no real advancement of whatever shoddily-crafted plot they've managed to cobble together during late-night binge-drinking sessions just hours before the deadline.
I could always be wrong though. But with this show, it seems I keep being right, even if it is in a roundabout way.
So, people are going to be on a boat, not realizing they are probably stepping towards their doom.
So, Usagi is all "welp, time to sneak on a boat and totally abuse her power YET AGAIN.
So tonight she's going to pretend to be a 'camera woman'. Wouldn't it have been easier to just say, photographer? Then she stuffs Luna into a box, and sneaks on board.
So remember that thing about the Titanic? Turns out the boat is actually a sunken ship that has been resurrected by evil seaweed powers. Yes. Evil seaweed powers. Just process that for a moment. Evil. Seaweed. If that doesn't make you laugh out loud because it is so unbelievably stupid, just remember they had to tack on EVIL to make sure they got the point across. EVIL.
So off the boat goes, and the sailor warriors realize that everyone on the boat are couples. EVERYONE. Guess they're pretty boned for finding boyfriends. Meanwhile, Usagi makes her way to the engine room which is pretty quiet. Then decides that despite standing in the room where a giant motor should be churning, it has to be some state-of-the-art engine that is totally silent. Even though the boat is clearly moving rather quickly.
Of course, then she runs into someone in an officer's uniform, and now she's in for it! Unless it's actually, y'know, Tuxedo Mask. Sadly, it is CAPTAIN JADEITE, with his totally awesome orange tan. Which causes Usagi to pop raging lady-boners in his direction. Seriously, what is with this guy and the lady boners, because Tetis was pretty much all over him too. Maybe the writers were aware I would have too much fun saying 'lady boners'. Heh.
Back on deck, Rei comes up with the bright idea that they should wait for some couples to break up, then steal those guys. Now, let's just think about this for a moment. You go on a romantic cruise to have a nice getaway, and considering this cruise is only four hours long, it's really more of a date than anything else. So the odds that someone would have a falling out on-board is remarkably low, isn't it?
Meanwhile, Usagi has literally attached herself to CAPTAIN JADEITE's arm. Who is starting to get a strange feeling about her, and it is almost certainly not an erection (but don't quote us on that, it could well be). He's all giving her the glare and she is basically melting into butter at this point, all while the smooth saxaphone plays in the background.
This is a show for young girls. Is this really the kind of values Japan wants to teach its women? Apparently, yes. Then Tetis shows up and they walk away to the Captain's cabin, where an orb is nearing it's 'peak'. Also, Luna is all 'hey there's monster energy here we should totes look around', and Usagi is all surprised. It's almost like her entire life revolves around this sort of thing, right?
So, Usagi is having trouble coming to terms with the fact that she is dealing with monsters. I mean, look at that sexy tan. Totally means he's a legit dude right? Oh but they suddenly vanish and something bad is probably about to happen.
Over in the dining hall, Rei is making a pig out of herself, binge eating because her totally flawless plan that she probably could've predicted with her psychic friggin' powers has a big ol' flaw in it. But then there's an announcement to come to the reception hall for a 'special show'. Oh yay, a special show. So everyone goes there, because why the hell would not not want to go to a special show, where the first mate is suddenly wearing a chinese dress? Oh but then she turns into a monster and starts showing them 'the most romantic show you'll ever see'.
Which involves... a disco ball.
So now they're re-using old ideas again. Like, seriously? They did this once already. Maybe they just really, really hated disco.
Oh, and Rei and Ami are all disappoint now, because clearly they are dealing with a monster. Sadface, right?
Also, is it just me, or does that guy in the background look a little bit like Usopp? Or someone else from One Piece, I dunno.
So Tetis makes with the awesome massive energy transfer, and Jadeite ditches his tan. Then they discover that her magic only works on people who are in love, which these girls clearly are not. Oh, then they get attacked by multiplying amoeba-men.
Oh, and they can't transform, because then the badguys will know who they are.
Wait, what? These guys can hardly find their way out of a wet paper bag, much less identify one stupid human girl from the next. So Tetis is all 'yeah, didn't get as much energy as we hoped, but hey, this is still a pretty massive earning'. Given that every plot we've seen thus far has been foiled, I would say if they manage to bring anything back home they'd be doing better than before.
Usagi finally makes it to the hall, and transforms just before she decides to bust in, which is kind of practical I suppose, but that never stopped her from transforming in front of enemies before. What difference does it make? Hell if I know.
Just as Jadeite opens a portal to nowhere, but closes it when Sailor Moon appears. Because that's clearly the correct reaction as opposed to "oh shit she's here better run". Which would be the more appropriate response to me.
... suddenly Usagi appears to me to be a massive bitch. Who gets all indignant over the fact that they are only taking energy from a single group of individuals? What, you'd rather they be taking energy from more people? How the hell does any of this even work?! Things like this irritate the hell out of me because this is where stuff stops making any kind of sense whatsoever.
So Tetis starts using her evil seaweed powers to control... sea water. How that is supposed to work, I don't even know. But off-screen, the other two have transformed, just in time to come and rescue the useless blonde. They don't even get transformation scenes, a first, considering that Usagi gets all the love. What, you get like three transformations and suddenly you get cut if you're not the main character? Talk about unfair.
Tetis gets hit with the tiara, and I guess is no more. Of course, Jadeite is still around, and is all 'ha you cannot beats me', then promptly... vanishes. Only to reappear in the Long Dark Room of Night, right in front of Queen Beryl. Shockingly, this is probably the best thing to happen to him... assuming he had the energy with him still.
Finally, for the first time we get to see her doing something other than sitting on her lazy ass. All it took was for one of her other subordinates to, y'know, die. She's all mad that he didn't ask for permission, and he's all 'but it was her idea to begin with!" Then she makes yet another promise.
Back on the ship, it returns to being a wreck that somehow manages to remain completely afloat. Then there's talk about finding boyfriends, and Ami pulls a book out of literally nowhere. The end.
Can someone please tell me why this show is so popular again? Because I'm just really not getting it at all.
Of course, she doesn't want to just give the tickets to Usagi, and clearly has no boyfriend, and Ami strolls along. Guess who gets the invite? My money's on Ami, because Rei hates the blondes. Anyhow, Usagi sneaks along and finds out that Rei talks Ami into it, and suddenly I am not even caring about this show at all. Because seriously, this is so cliche and we've seen in a thousand times and it's not like they are even trying to hide the fact that this is most likely just a filler episode meant to eat up time and give us absolutely no real advancement of whatever shoddily-crafted plot they've managed to cobble together during late-night binge-drinking sessions just hours before the deadline.
I could always be wrong though. But with this show, it seems I keep being right, even if it is in a roundabout way.
So, people are going to be on a boat, not realizing they are probably stepping towards their doom.
 |
| That guy with the glasses seems really, really familiar... Also, highest production value in the entire episode so far. And it's a static image. |
 |
| No shit Sherlock, and you gave it to a BLONDE IN JAPAN. |
So tonight she's going to pretend to be a 'camera woman'. Wouldn't it have been easier to just say, photographer? Then she stuffs Luna into a box, and sneaks on board.
 |
| Guess who's sporting a tan? That's right, CAPTAIN JADEITE. HE'S OUR HERO. GONNA TAKE POLLUTION down to something more than zero. Hrm. |
So off the boat goes, and the sailor warriors realize that everyone on the boat are couples. EVERYONE. Guess they're pretty boned for finding boyfriends. Meanwhile, Usagi makes her way to the engine room which is pretty quiet. Then decides that despite standing in the room where a giant motor should be churning, it has to be some state-of-the-art engine that is totally silent. Even though the boat is clearly moving rather quickly.
Of course, then she runs into someone in an officer's uniform, and now she's in for it! Unless it's actually, y'know, Tuxedo Mask. Sadly, it is CAPTAIN JADEITE, with his totally awesome orange tan. Which causes Usagi to pop raging lady-boners in his direction. Seriously, what is with this guy and the lady boners, because Tetis was pretty much all over him too. Maybe the writers were aware I would have too much fun saying 'lady boners'. Heh.
Back on deck, Rei comes up with the bright idea that they should wait for some couples to break up, then steal those guys. Now, let's just think about this for a moment. You go on a romantic cruise to have a nice getaway, and considering this cruise is only four hours long, it's really more of a date than anything else. So the odds that someone would have a falling out on-board is remarkably low, isn't it?
Meanwhile, Usagi has literally attached herself to CAPTAIN JADEITE's arm. Who is starting to get a strange feeling about her, and it is almost certainly not an erection (but don't quote us on that, it could well be). He's all giving her the glare and she is basically melting into butter at this point, all while the smooth saxaphone plays in the background.
This is a show for young girls. Is this really the kind of values Japan wants to teach its women? Apparently, yes. Then Tetis shows up and they walk away to the Captain's cabin, where an orb is nearing it's 'peak'. Also, Luna is all 'hey there's monster energy here we should totes look around', and Usagi is all surprised. It's almost like her entire life revolves around this sort of thing, right?
 |
| Shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact that they are standing in front of a FLOATING ORB?! |
Over in the dining hall, Rei is making a pig out of herself, binge eating because her totally flawless plan that she probably could've predicted with her psychic friggin' powers has a big ol' flaw in it. But then there's an announcement to come to the reception hall for a 'special show'. Oh yay, a special show. So everyone goes there, because why the hell would not not want to go to a special show, where the first mate is suddenly wearing a chinese dress? Oh but then she turns into a monster and starts showing them 'the most romantic show you'll ever see'.
Which involves... a disco ball.
 |
| But not any disco ball.... an EVIL DISCO BALL, BWAHAHA! |
Oh, and Rei and Ami are all disappoint now, because clearly they are dealing with a monster. Sadface, right?
 |
| ... I just wanted to say, that dress makes you look fat. |
So Tetis makes with the awesome massive energy transfer, and Jadeite ditches his tan. Then they discover that her magic only works on people who are in love, which these girls clearly are not. Oh, then they get attacked by multiplying amoeba-men.
Oh, and they can't transform, because then the badguys will know who they are.
Wait, what? These guys can hardly find their way out of a wet paper bag, much less identify one stupid human girl from the next. So Tetis is all 'yeah, didn't get as much energy as we hoped, but hey, this is still a pretty massive earning'. Given that every plot we've seen thus far has been foiled, I would say if they manage to bring anything back home they'd be doing better than before.
Usagi finally makes it to the hall, and transforms just before she decides to bust in, which is kind of practical I suppose, but that never stopped her from transforming in front of enemies before. What difference does it make? Hell if I know.
Just as Jadeite opens a portal to nowhere, but closes it when Sailor Moon appears. Because that's clearly the correct reaction as opposed to "oh shit she's here better run". Which would be the more appropriate response to me.
 |
| Wait, you're upset because they're not indiscriminately stealing energy? Wow... just... wow. |
So Tetis starts using her evil seaweed powers to control... sea water. How that is supposed to work, I don't even know. But off-screen, the other two have transformed, just in time to come and rescue the useless blonde. They don't even get transformation scenes, a first, considering that Usagi gets all the love. What, you get like three transformations and suddenly you get cut if you're not the main character? Talk about unfair.
Tetis gets hit with the tiara, and I guess is no more. Of course, Jadeite is still around, and is all 'ha you cannot beats me', then promptly... vanishes. Only to reappear in the Long Dark Room of Night, right in front of Queen Beryl. Shockingly, this is probably the best thing to happen to him... assuming he had the energy with him still.
Finally, for the first time we get to see her doing something other than sitting on her lazy ass. All it took was for one of her other subordinates to, y'know, die. She's all mad that he didn't ask for permission, and he's all 'but it was her idea to begin with!" Then she makes yet another promise.
 |
| You keep saying that, but... |
Back on the ship, it returns to being a wreck that somehow manages to remain completely afloat. Then there's talk about finding boyfriends, and Ami pulls a book out of literally nowhere. The end.
Can someone please tell me why this show is so popular again? Because I'm just really not getting it at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment