Kodomo no Jikan Episode 05 - A Summer Vacation Friend

Why God? Why do things like this show get made?

My friend has promised me that this show is about to get better.

I suspect he's a lying shit.

He mentioned something about a 'swimsuit episode'. THIS DOES NOT SOUND LIKE BETTER TO ME AT ALL. IN FACT, IT MAKES ME THINK QUITE THE OPPOSITE.

What was that I said awhile back about not using caps? WELL SCREW THAT THEY ARE MY COMFORT FOOD. THING. WHATEVER. Judging by the title, this can only go downhill.

So it opens with a wonderful shot of the pool. Foreshadowing? I think so. You know what summers in Japan mean? They mean going to the beach. Eating watermelon. If anime is to be believed, it means whacking said watermelons with sticks. I'm pretty sure that's an old tradition nobody ever actually does though. Fireworks on the other hand? Pretty popular.

So Daisuke is being harassed by little miss troublemaker. And is it me, or has everyone in this show suddenly gone wide-screen?

If these characters were any wider, you could
land a damn plane on them.

Whatever. Crappy art direction aside, she is claiming she can do a handstand, and asks if he wants to see. Five bucks says she does it anyway and flashes her panties to him. I swear to christ I better be wrong about this, because she is clearly wearing a summer dress. Dear god let me be wrong about this.

Elsewhere, Kuro is asking Mimi about where she's going for vacation. I guess she's heading to her father's, while Kuro will be visiting her grandmother in Nagano. How nice. Meanwhile, Daisuke is trying to grade papers, and the brat won't stop bugging him, and gets annoyed with being ignored. How does she deal with this? By jumping on his shoulders and using her blouse to cover his face.

No you do not get a screencap of that. You sick, sad individual you.

Anyways there's a rousing speech from the principal about being safe and 'discovering new things', and everyone is bored out of their minds. Elsewhere, our intrepid yet absolutely terrible teacher is arguing the merits of effort versus actual results when considering grading with other teachers. And red-head-mcboobs is all lusting for his suddenly grown backbone? Okay, I guess she's actually developing a strong liking for him due to, I dunno, having a damn opinion and backing it up. He's concerned with progress, while snooty-bitch cares only about right answers versus wrong answers. In short: I could give two shits about this, because lectures on educational grading scales is boring as hell and does not translate to 'interesting anime'. Or interesting ANYTHING for that matter. Well, unless you happen to be a teacher and are into these sorts of things but who watches an anime for this? Especially when the main selling point of the show is little girls in panties? Seriously.

Probably heartburn. From that terrible lunch you had earlier.

One argument (and a scene cut) later, Daisuke is still unsure of how to grade his students and wanders across the local pedo-bait that flipped her own skirt for him. But now she refuses to go back to class, and is acting all sad about the whole summer vacation thing.

FOR THE LOVE OF - THAT IS YOUR CONCERN?!

Okay, so before I flip off the handle about this: Japan's summer vacations are actually relatively long. I'm used to like, two or three week breaks, but I guess here it's more akin to 6-8 weeks, depending on the school. Of course, unlike here in the states, summer vacation is the middle of the school year, and not the end of the school year. So while on the one hand, it isn't like she's not going to see him again. But on the other? Given the way she's been acting, oh I don't know, pretty much the entire show, this comes across as incredibly freaking creepy.

Oh please just die in a fire already you pathetic escuse
for a human being. Seriously. Get away from kids.

But of course he promises that he will still be at the school every day, so she can come by to see him any time she wants. Then she asks to show him a handstand and he says okay. That thing I called five paragraphs ago?

It's okay because she's wearing bloomers.

NO. THAT DOES NOT SUDDENLY MAKE IT OKAY. ARGH. THEY GO AND DO ME ONE WORSE BECAUSE HER SKIRT GOES ALL THE WAY UP TO HER NECK

It's like I call the thing that's going to happen, and they go out of their way to do me one WORSE. I hate these people. I really, truly, hate these people. At least they were decent enough to show her backside or I might have to start practice my batter swings.

So he hands out the report cards and everybody leaves. But Rin just has to give him a hug before she goes. Oh, and a lover's message.

I really don't need words for this.

So boobies shows up after all the kids leave and they get to talking about how sad the school seems once the students have left. Then the vacation begins. There's ice cream, trips to the library, and - yes - a trip to the friggin' pool, where Kuro is, unbelievably enough, trying to tan.

I'm sorry, but this show really stretches crediblity. These kids are at most ten years old. And one of them is worried about trying to nail the bronze-skinned fancy dress look, and is lounging about like some damn model wannabe.

Why do I have an issue with this? Because frankly, it leaves me to believe they all have terrible parents who should be shot in the face. But I could be overreacting. I tend to do that sometimes, especially about trivial details like these.

Vacation continues, and some kind of special day arrives for Rin. Her.... whatever-he-is goes off to work apologizing that he couldn't take her anywhere. Meanwhile, she is packing a bag, and her friends come to pick her up for the day. Where do they go?

The school pool, where moron happens to be studying.

I can't believe it took her three weeks to pull this move.

Oh yeah, and Boobs shows up too, with the excuse that her one-piece didn't fit properly.

I HAPPEN TO LIKE LITTLE GIRLS. YEAH. SORRY.

Anyways, the dynamic trio shows up in their school swimsuits, and boobies runs off to change, leaving Daisuke bewildered. Anyhow, the whole pool seems pretty busy today, but even her one-piece isn't enough to account for her jiggle physics.

Meanwhile, in the changing room, Rin is... literally fondling herself in the attempst to make her breasts bigger. Eventually the trio leaves dejected, for whatever reasons they have.

Rin goes back to her boring life of doing nothing but eating melons and tanning with her bear. Seems her friends are on their vacations now and there is literally nothing to do (except homework I guess).

Then she sees a thing about fireworks happening, and recalls that Daisuke said she could see him any day she wanted. So of course she goes out hunting for him, and he happens to be... planting flowers with boobies, who invites him to the fireworks festival. Forcefully even.

Though, Rin does manage to distract him long enough to ignore the fact that this woman is clearly trying to ask him out. Like a moron, he takes the bait and goes running after. Even worse? She takes off her panties and leaves them on the floor so he can pick them up.

NO YOU AREN'T GETTING A SCREENCAP OF THAT EITHER. DEAL WITH IT.

She continues to taunt him from the top of the stairs by fluttering her skirt, saying he could 'see it from down there,' and reveals.... that she is wearing bloomers again. This show is getting dumb, and it hurts and is making my brain hurt, and I don't want to watch this anymore. But I have to, so that you people don't have to suffer like me. You can just laugh at my expense.

Way to look like someone kicked your puppy, perv.

So boobs goes hunting for the lecher and the child for the fireworks festival, and both Kuro and Mimi show up back early from vacation in yukata, hoping to go with Rin to see fireworks. Sadly, Rin is not home. Where is she, you ask? Playing at the school's  pool to get her teacher's attention. He tries to send her home, but we all know how that's going to end.

So the kid admits to being jealous (more or less) about him going to watch fireworks with someone else, and he's all worried she's going to kiss him or something. So she shoves him into the pool, with her along too. Then she gives him a d'aww hug in the pool. Except it's much less d'aww and much more I WANT TO STAB MY EYEBALLS OUT WITH A RUSTY FORK.

Oh, then fireworks happen. Literally, fireworks go off at dusk for some reason.

Meanwhile, Daisuke is starting to realize he can't get away from this kid, who makes it very plain to boobs that THIS IS HER MAN YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM. Well, that's usually what sticking your tongue out to another woman while hugging a man means. Then her brother/cousin/rapist comes home to find the note saying she went to school.

Speaking of which, now the trio are tanning at the school during summer break, and that's the end of the episode.

So what have we learned during this episode? Two things: One, the artwork for this show is super inconsistent. And two, DAISUKE IS AS TERRIBLE A PERSON AS WAS PREDICTED AT THE START.

Now please excuse me while I go throw bleach in my eyes. Do you think if I start huffing peroxide it might make some of the images fade away faster?