Kodomo no Jikan Episode 06 - Memories

The following is an artist's rendition of how this came about.

Me: Man, it's been awhile since we've talked, and you haven't laughed at me about anything in forever. What's up with that?

Peter: Here's KnJ episode six. Have fun!

Me: I hate you so f***ing much right now.

Might as well just get this thing over with...

When last we left off with this show, they just wrapped up the most agonizing summer vacation episode I've ever seen in an anime series. Which is saying a lot because I've watched a lot of bad shows in my time. According to what I said in the last entry, I have this sinking feeling that the brother/cousin/rapist figure is going to be coming into the forefront for this one. Makes sense, given that we're about halfway through the show by now.

Today's episode starts off on a real downer - burning incense, signifying a funeral ceremony at someone's house, with disembodied voices talking about the parents dying in a car accident. Guess who they must be talking about!

SHAFT. He's one baaad mother...

Damn are my predictions right on sometimes. Now we start getting into the past, where daddy was an abusive alcoholic, and mommy just kind of sat there and dealt with everything, who refused to divorce the man for anything. He goes on to narrate his own sad story, talking about how he thought his mother stayed because of him, but then later realizes it's probably more for the little sister instead.

Then he goes on to curl into a ball while his mother just sits there crying at his door, and he's all "I hope you both die." Guess what happens? A car accident.

... yeah, this is not exactly winning any points with me. Dark, morbid, certainly. But considering the number of incredibly uncomfortable places this show has already gone? This is almost passe. If this were any other show, I might begin to perhaps feel a twang of empathy, but any of that would've gone right out the window as soon as he hoped his parents would die. Because, frankly? That's some pretty cold-blooded shit, given he's probably secretly glad they both died.

I mean, that's going to open up some serious jealousy issues, and that just means this dude is completely batshit friggin' NUTS.

So then they cut back to the funeral and he is told to go live with his cousin, and then he hopes everyone dies. Until he meets his cousin, who is, in fact, Rin, and some unnamed chick who seems to know him? Is this the cousin? Oh man, I get a really bad feeling about this.

So this cousin left her man to raise her kid by herself, something which is very uncommon in Japan for a woman. At this point, this show looks as though it might actually be improving, but I am well on my guard. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, because you know it's coming.

Oh god, flashbacks with a single color. What is this,
Schindler's List? THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING.

The two of them seem to be talking about going out somewhere I guess, and then there's even more flashbacking to the past? Hold on, I'm confused now. Because now it seems the older cousin is dead, but the monochrome sequence is the present? STOP SCREWING WITH MY MIND DAMN YOU.

He seems to spend all of his time sitting around not cleaning his room while that unnamed girl takes care of her kid, dressing her up like a Santa and cooking his food and everything. Eventually, he asks why she never got married, and if she thinks it'll be easy to get married after having had one child already. Barely six minutes into the show and he looks as though he's about to crack already.

The answer is just as 'shocking' as could be. At least, it might be shocking if this whole thing weren't too busy trying to constantly trump itself in its own horridness, with the revelation that her man wanted to abort Rin. Well, that's just nice and cozy and definitely belonging in a show that is designed to appeal to the moe crowd, which attracts pedophiles because nine-year-old girls are literally throwing themselves at their male instructors. Compared to all that? Abortions are sort of plain.

Anyways, he goes on to have a complete mental breakdown because his mom couldn't be awesome like his cousin. Then his, I guess niece? Comes in, sees him crying, and gives him a hug, which causes him to actually have a complete and total breakdown. Aw, look at that, a not-yet-horrifying little girl hugging people and making them feel better. Whatever happened to that?

My guess is him. We'll see about that.

So now he literally has a little girl attached to his hip, and her mother is confused because Rin doesn't like anyone. After this point, he becomes a much brighter person who works late nights at his job and all that, while his cousin takes care of household matters, and basically all but crosses the line of incest with all of the romantic insinuations going on here.

Oh for the love of shit.

She goes on to make him fancy little bento boxes that make all the girls in class laugh at him, and then we get treated to bath-time with this dude and little Rin.

Is this really necessary to see? I mean, seriously?

Especially when they go one bit farther with the "don't grab that!" bit as she inches closer to him?!?!

I freaking knew it. They had almost lulled me into a false sense of security, but once more they go beyond my wildest expectations because her mother thinks this is cute.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR WHY IN
THE NAME OF GOD ARE YOU SMILING?!?!

Then she brings up the topic of adoption for her cousin, wondering if it might be for the best, and everyone goes off to bed with things on their mind. Though the thing on his mind is wanting to marry his cousin.

God damnit all, why did I call that? They just freaking went there. God.

So then he tries to race towards adulthood, and he rushes home to tell his cousin that hey, he's got a job that'll work with his school schedule and she doesn't have to work so hard... oh, and then suddenly she's practically dying. Because that was totally alluded to in the previous scenes, am I right? Oh, sure, they insinuated it with the photograph on the table earlier, but the whole illness thing? Just comes right out of nowhere like we're supposed to have seen it coming.

There's a word for this. It's called Melodrama. Guess what this episode is full of? Besides itself. The answer is Melodrama. That's why I feel such a disconnect, because it is going, "oh woe is me, look at the terrible things that have happened to our character, you should feel bad because these are bad things happening to good people."

Let me stop you there KnJ, and correct you on a few key points: Firstly, these are terrible things happening to people I could give two shits about. So there's no emotional connection there. Second, I have some seriously doubts as to whether we could consider this guy a 'good person' - he actively wished for his parents to die and they did and didn't feel anything for it, and then wants to shack up with his cousin because she's what his mother could never be?

All I'm saying is, maybe you should think twice before trying to bridge an emotional gap like this, because right now, you're not tugging on my heartstrings, you're just trying to yank as hard as you can in the hopes you'll get some sort of reaction.

Okay so now Aki is basically dying, and dude is starting to lose his shit and hugs her and tells her she can rely on him, which makes her cry and then they basically remove any semblance of emotional connection with these characters when he starts to basically push himself onto his cousin.

Believe it or not, that isn't even my issue here.

ARE YOU SERIOUS!? THAT IS YOUR OBJECTION?!?!

So let's get this straight folks. She doesn't want to make out with her cousin not because he's her cousin, but because her kid is right freaking there.

You know what? I could just throw my hands up, and say to hell with it, I'm done. I could totally do that right now. Because I am past the point of even caring about this show. The desire to continue watching it has plummeted to all-new lows. You know what I'd rather be doing right now? Watching Sailor Moon. SAILOR FREAKING MOON. At least that I can tolerate to some extent, but this?! Holy shit on a cracker served to the Pope during Sunday mass Batman.

For the sake of completion, I'll try to keep going though. At this point, however, I really can't make any promises, because I sincerely do not want to be watching this right now. OR EVER.

Right so the makeout shit starts happening, Rin wakes up and sees it, then goes back to sleep thinking this must be perfectly natural behavior.

Then we get back to the monochrome shit where they're only using a single color while they're on a train, and we go back to the past yet again, where Aki appears to be dying of what can basically be attributed to the common freaking cold. Seriously, she's making all the usual "oh no I have somehow gotten a summer cold from being out in the rain" noise that is so popular in the anime these days. It's the one that screams "this is so forced you can see the welts on my back from all the whipping they had to do to get it out of me."

Oh, nevermind, turns out she's just laughing at him because he's wearing a suit. Well, glad that crisis is averted. Doesn't stop that somber music that insinuates "this person is going to die" keeps going on, which really works to confuse one, because, well, it's just really out of place here.

You wanna know what else is really out of place here?

Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Of course that makes her kind of mad, and mommy has a cold and can't be kissing her little girl before she goes off to school. Doesn't stop her from sounding perfectly fine. Or, y'know, getting a little cozy cozy with her cousin. She's all "yeah gonna go to the hospital before work no big deal".

Lady, you have a fever. Yet you don't act like you have one. You appear to be perfectly freaking healthy. Also, if you are really that sickly, you should be going to the hospital now, and not waiting to go before work, because that is what normal people might do. Then there's cherry blossoms and they go off, and she's all "I am so lucky to be loved like this HACK HACK HURK HACK."

Then she gets her medical diagnosis back.

It's almost like someone is trying to tell you something.
Like, INCEST IS BAD MMKAY?

Congratulations, you now have stage 2 lung cancer. You are pretty much screwed.

Surgery is no good, he recommends radiation therapy, because that's really the best way to deal with this.

Suddenly, I may feel a slight twinge of guilt for my earlier remark about nuking it from orbit... naaaahhhh.

So, Reiji comes home with a huge bonus from his boss, and tickets for something. Then we go back to the present and there's people at the beach, and Rin is perfectly miserable until she finds a conch shell, which yet again sends them back to the past.

This is actually making my head hurt, because they are deliberately confusing the past with the present with their crappy presentation. They are doing all of this ass-backwards, and I bet they're doing it because they absolutely hate themselves for making this show. I'd probably hate myself if I made this show.

Then there's a montage of chibi-Rin at the beach, while accompanied by the saddest violins ever.

Here, have a picture of d'aww. I get the feeling we'll
be needing it soon enough.

Oh but it gets better. Reiji and Rin are writing names on the beach, and her mother's name just casually gets washed away by the surf. Prompting Rin to go, "Mom disappeared!"

Is it wrong that I almost want to burst out laughing at that? I know normally that would make me a horrible person, but given how bad this show is trying to make me? YEAH WE GET IT SHE'S GOING TO DIE STOP TRYING TO BE CLEVER BY USING FORESHADOWING AT THIS POINT YOU STUPID F**KS. AUUUGH.

Then there's more teary-eyed moments and Aki is glad that someone will be able to run after Rin. Which is good for her because this is the perfect time to ask him to protect her daughter, to which he replies, "Nah, don't wanna, I gotta protect you BOTH."

Oh god make me want to hurl more, please. Then he sweeps her into a hug and Rin gets jealous because she wants hugs too, being way too young to understand this is grossly inappropriate behavior.

But then it somehow gets EVEN WORSE. Because their late night bangathon gets interrupted by LUNG CANCER MAKING YOU COUGH. Oh the horrors, be the gentleman that stops because your cousin IS CLEARLY VERY SICK. Yes, that makes you a kind and loving NO IT DOESN'T. AT ALL. EVER. GO DIE IN A FIRE PLEASE KAY AND THANKS.

There are things I don't want to see. One of them is shit like this because SCREW THIS INCEST BULLSHIT.

So then, we cut to her in the hospital bed, getting ready to give up on life because six month operations is not worth another three years of having to suffer through this. Of course, optimistic Reiji doesn't want to see this truth because he's too busy not understanding the implications of making love to your own family member. But hey, nobody's perfect, especially not these people.

Rin comes to visit mommy in the hospital, and for the first time he starts to see that Aki is really not doing well despite the show she puts on. Then the cancer gets worse, and no amount of money can fix this. So please, freaking deal with it instead of desperately wanting her to hold on and cling to every moment she can get for dear life, because she must be in excruciating pain right now and you are a dick if you don't want to let her go for your own selfish reasons.

Of course, it's already been established that he is, in fact, incredibly self-centered. So hey, guess you'll just ignore that and keep wishing you could be a grown-up and working even harder.

Eventually he goes to school to pick up Rin who is too busy with origami cranes to pay attention to him, and then she proves just how very perceptive she actually is.

Even the little girl seems to get it, why can't you?

Alternatively, this could just be a very common concern for a child her age. After all, her mother is in the hospital, and that's one of those things that tends to run through a child's mind. Why are they in the hospital? Has something bad happened? Well, in this case, the answer is, yes. Bad things happened. Will he tell the truth, though?

Please, deny reality a little bit harder, could you?

Then two months go by and the tumor gets even worse, and then it's snowing, and Aki asks Reiji to just go back home. Because clearly, she's just about to die, so might as well honor her last wish. So they go home, and examine Rin's crane-making prowess. She became obsessed, believing that if she made a thousand cranes, her mother wouldn't die - which makes sense, since that's kind of one of those Japanese-folkore kinds of things. It's like prayer beads, or those special wreathes you make when people are sick, y'know. That kind of stuff. It's really more to ease the person making them, psychologically-speaking.

Eventually, she is unable to even get out of bed, and one morning, Rin is putting lots of cranes on her dead mother's body. Which has a lovely little note that says, "I'm sorry" next to it.

You knew she was dying, I mean, it was going to happen eventually dude.

Then we come back to the present again, except this time it's in full color? And she's all reminiscing about how the sunset makes her want to go home, and there's some kind of outro music OH GOD ARE WE GOING TO ANIMATE THROUGH THE CREDITS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

So Reiji sees his cousin in Rin's face, and is all "not gonna let anyone hurt her" and we are, in fact, treated to a fully animated freaking sequence overlayed with goddamned credits. Which thankfully begin to roll in earnest once it shows him stroking hair off Rin's face as she sleeps.

But that's still not it, because they have to come out of those nice-looking credits to show us Reiji pulling Rin's panties back up because they were totally not where they should have been.

Yes, because nothing says touching like THIS SHIT.

He then proceeds to watch her through the rest of the night, and he considers her to be his daughter, and then WE GET THE NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW SO I AM GONNA STOP RIGHT THE HELL THERE AND BE DONE WITH THIS.

Okay. So let's just see here. The list of crimes this show has committed so far now includes incest and even more pedophilia, because her cousin was technically too young to bang but she did it anyway.

Oh my god. I just realized that he was too young for her to bang.

OH GOD.

BRB OFF TO DUNK MY HEAD IN A BUCKET OF CLEANING CHEMICALS.