The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 10 - Looking After the House for the First(?) Time

I like to think that this show makes me pre-emptively sick every time I have to sit down and watch it. It's the only explanation for why I seem to feel physically ill around the same time every week.

I'm actually kind of serious about that. I always feel like shit around this time of week for some reason. And the only real constant in it, besides being my days off, is that this freaking show is waiting for me.

Let's just do this thing, and get the breast suckling over with already so I can move on with my life.

You just know the show is about to take a turn for the best when this is the first thing you see:

Who'd have thought an episode would revolve around boobs.

So it turns out that everyone's favorite main character is having trouble getting her bra on today. Because her boobs probably inexplicably grew like three sizes or something. Gee I wonder what could have caused that?

Tomo takes this opportunity to of course feel up her friend and make her feel all awkward and stuff. And then purport to be some kind of expert on breasts. I guess it's time to cut to someone stirring cream in a bucket for some reason. Oh, it's Tomo? Wait why is Mafuyu sitting topless in a tub wait what is-

WHAT THE F**K IS EVEN GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!

Now she has some sort of yellow buttery substance on her, and afterwards Tomo gets the same treatment and OH FOR GOD'S SAKE. Somehow they manage to make PERFECT WAX BUSTS OF THEIR OWN CHESTS. WHICH MAKES. NO. F***ING. SENSE. AT. ALL. NONE. YOU DO NOT GO FROM SLAPPING A BIT OF YELLOW CREAM ON YOUR CHEST TO SUDDENLY HAVING SOLID PERFECTLY-CRAFTED TORSO BUSTS. NO. YOU JUST. NO. ATEIWHF#(*$J GV$^U_t(uVJ 3YGJAY=A0C340YCVIJ

JUST PLAY THE GODDAMNED INTRO ALREADY.

I am going to ignore the fact that the entire scene was there just so you could see girls fondling one another and enjoying it. Seriously. We're just going to COMPLETELY IGNORE THAT and move on to the part where they tell us the episode title and show someone walking around. Oh hey it's that class representative nobody likes, who gets home or something. Oh and there's someone beside her I guess. She looks over and it is...

Uh. The light is uh. It's behind you brah.

She's all "I don't have any light" and he's all "I'll just take youuuuuurs" and then that rich bitch screams and scares Mafuyu and Tomo while everyone else is all standing around like "man what a shitty story". For the record I'm pretty sure she was telling some other story since breast tickling doesn't occur in the previous scene.

And yet that's the only thing that ever consistently
happens throughout this show.

But then, there are things that just make me want to kill people.

My tolerance for this show is rapidly dissolving.

Of course she says that just as she looks over to her little 'slave' which has some weird chains hanging out of her cooch. Yeah. That's a thing now I guess. But now is the time for them to finally get to the point, which... never actually gets revealed? Oh, okay. So now they go home and drop groceries on the table and I'm left wondering why we should be caring at all.

They consider that rich kid's story might have had something to do with Athos but they're not really sure, and then everyone goes out to go search for stuff while leaving Tomo behind. Who doesn't really want to be left behind? So they just ask her to watch the house and leave her by herself.

Now we get to see that one dude with the ponytail who is now a teacher thinking to himself, while Elly is all "yep gonna go practice now" and he's all "hey, there's some Qwaser wandering around so don't get in any fights kay?"

Now we're back to Tomo who is bored and considering her uselessness to a stuffed rabbit. Eventually she rolls up her sleeves, decides there's gotta be something she can do, and then some dude watches from outside as Tomo sets the house on fire. So he runs in, and we get to see he is...

SPIKE SPIEGEL?!?!?

Oh my god. It's Spike freaking Spiegel. He runs in just in time to stop Tomo from throwing water on an oil fire, and of course no one is going to question the fact that he just burst into the house for no reason. Awesome.

I'm assuming you mean the crime of making this show.
In which case I completely agree with you.

She decides she needs to try cooking again before Mafuyu gets back while Spike just kind of hangs out with a spatula, telling her everything she is doing wrong with cooking. Before just deciding to do it himself, apron and everything.

WHAT LEGENDS?!?!?!?!

I have been watching this show and documenting this shit from the very start and this is the FIRST MENTION OF SOME 'LEGENDARY' QWASAR. THE FIRST. HOW THE TRANSLATORS EVEN KNEW THIS SHIT BLOWS MY GOD DAMNED MIND. Not that any of their legends bullshit makes any sense to begin with for me regardless. He goes on to say some more shit about it being a special dish of some.... "Joshua Phrygianos"? You know what I'm just going to take his word for it I don't even care that much to argue at this point.

So he has her try it and of course the food is amazing and he is cleaning the kitchen and talking about his brothers. And then he goes straight off the deep end.

I really have no clue what you are on about dude.

Turns out the 'light by the mountain' he is looking for is actually Tomo. Because that's her name written in Kanji. Oh, okay. Crisis averted I suppose. So Spike makes a completely ridiculous declaration.

Yeah, uh... good luck with that I guess.

Tomo is now his property. Okay. Meanwhile, those other people are out walking around when Sasha detects a powerful Qwaser. So it's time for Teresa to pop that top so he can have himself a little milkshake and Mafuyu feels funny watching it.

Oh and now Tomo is tied up and he's all "time for a drink" and she is all literally not scared of him. Much to his surprise. So he goes about taking some scissors to her skirt and just cuts her entire outfit open and... is in disbelief at what breasts appear to be, it seems. I guess he just may have never seen a pair of tits before or something because he is having an awful lot of issues taking advantage of a girl who is literally tied up.

So he cuts her panties and starts freaking out even more, and doesn't understand how she is just not reacting at all. He goes to slice open her bra, and finally does so, and I shit you not, it's like the goddamn heavens themselves opened up with a full angelic choir playing behind it and we just got launched into space. His main thing though seems to be trying to embarrass her, which is kind of hard considering the last nine episodes.

I think I am in hell now.

Finally reaching out for her chest, he stops himself as his nose erupts into a blood fountain, and he unties her and tells her to put on an apron. Which she does while he cleans up his blood. So he's all like "man why aren't you bothered by this shit" and she's all "well, you don't seem entirely happy with your job, am I right?"

Spike is all "well, shit lady, I guess it's time for a flashback."

Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, what?

Iron, Copper, Oxygen, those I can understand. But this??? According to Wikipedia this shit is practically worthless. But that aside, the one thing that bugs me the most? THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT OCCURS IN NATURE SO WHAT THE HELL?!?!

.... oh. So you're aware. Okay then.

Cue the beatings I guess. All the other Qwasars laugh at him for being totally useless and kick him while he's down. So now back in today he gets super mad and knocks the food on the floor and declares his intention to use Tomo as bait to find the thingy and become an Acolyte. But if he does that Tomo will totally never forgive him so he can't do that.

Speaking of those other three they're coming back to the house now and preparing the raid the place.

Tomo on the other hand talks about how useless she is to everyone around her too and boy doesn't that just suck. Which makes Spikey feel bad. Then she asks him to just kill her, and he gets all pissy about it. He's all "gotta fight because I have siblings" and she's all like "I don't get it". The sad piano music plays and he is flip-flopping his character faster than a pancake at IHop.

Falling to the ground he says that if she ever says that she wants to die because she is so useless.... he will kill her.

...

......

Yeah okay. Sure. Let's just get to the part where Sasha gets into a fight with Liz for some reason. Dunno why, she just straight up starts attacking him. Okay. But then she's gone and Sasha is left just as confused as me.

So now Tomo is rubbing Spike's head and tells him to go live with his siblings, and she reminds him how to say her name, and she realizes she needs to make dinner again, and he'll help out again. For whatever reason. It's at this point he remembers that she is naked and starts enjoying the view and... hallucinating?

Oh god help me.

In his dream he marries her or something and comes home to this view all the time. Which is around the time he just wigs out and goes full on creeper as Mafuyu walks in to accuse dude of being a molestor, and then he jumps out the window as Sasha and Teresa show up. But Tomo asks them not to chase him because everything is just fine.

Guess it's time to watch those two shower now while she's all "yeah everything is cool I'm sure he'll be a good guy". More girly washings occur, and Tomo declares her undying love for Mafuyu, end of episode.

I can't believe I'm about to say this but... WHAT THE F**K DID I SERIOUSLY JUST WATCH?! What purpose did ANY of this serve?! To show us there are shitty Qwasars too? Something about character growth for Tomo, who honestly doesn't really deserve said character growth beyond being the token character with big honking tits?

I got nothing. I'm done. I'm out. See you next week.