The Qwasar of Stigmata Episode 11 - The Witch's Crucifix

Sometimes, writing this part of the blog is literally the hardest part.

I mean let's face it, after the jump everything else practically writes itself. No real effort there. But this? The intro? The part where you get to take a tiny peek into my mind to discover how much sanity remains? That's the really hard part.

Maybe part of it is just because having to write so many of these things gets, well, hard to do after awhile. You hit writer's block. What then? You've got to talk about something or other because let's face it, otherwise you'll ruin the format and not have anything to jump to.

Majority of it is probably the fact that I know, deep in the bottom of my soul, that after the cut there is no going back. And maybe I just want to spare myself the agony of f***ing Seiko no Qwasar, The Qwasar of Stigmata, even if it is just for a few more minutes.

Oh god do I hate this show with a burning fiery passion of a thousand suns. Do I ever.

You just know this show is going places, just from the first few seconds. A couple of girls are hoping to get directions from Officer Jenny.

Hell if I know which one, you tell me.

I guess she thinks they want to go to that school which appears to be in the middle of nowhere but is actually somehow right smack dab in the middle of the city. Who knew?

Let me say it another way: SHUT THE F**K UP, BACK
THE F**K UP, AND GET THE F**K OUT.

Clearly they are going for the 'pure maidens who are clearly not in any way evil whatsoever because look at how cute they are. And young. Did we mention cute? They have pink hair! And they're twins. People like twins right? Yes, we are hitting all of the demographic buttons today, including the idol sparkles. Did they NOT just spend the last two episodes PULLING THIS EXACT SAME SHIT?

... oh and the girls want to be yelled at... for some reason. I just don't even... whatever. Officer Jenny is all "look you are gonna piss me off if you keep this up" and suddenly they get excited and ask if she is also a "Master".

I think the Ash Ketchum you are looking for is in another town, princesses.

The girls look at one another, say their names which are R and Q, and then whip out some... stuff.

My tolerance level for the amount of bullshit this show
indulges in is rapidly diminishing.

Getting to see the inside of their heads isn't that much better.

This show is getting pretty NOPE real fast.

I just spent like the next minute watching ahead, and you know what? I am gonna be nice and just summarize that shit really fast for you, so please try and keep up because it's gonna go by pretty quick.

The twins ask the officer to please punish them, because that's what they were born for, and instead of doing her job or pulling out a taser or some shit, the woman just stands there dumbfounded as they advance upon her, asking if she won't punish them no matter what. And then they pile on top of her and some white stuff goes flying around, and blood pools on the ground as she screams.

I just watched this and I have no idea what the f**k is going on.

WHY DO THEY FEEL THE NEED TO BUTCHER OTHER
LANGUAGES? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT WHITE SHIT?!

Then it zooms in on that Q&R part all dramatic like because making it twice as large as the rest of the text wasn't enough to clue you in that HEY THESE NAMES ARE SIGNIFICANT OR SOMETHING and oh look it's that stupid intro again.

Anyway, when we get back we are suddenly no longer in the city once again. Except this time it's because those evil people are meeting in an abandoned church in the middle of nowhere that is clearly too large to just be in the middle of nowhere. But who cares at this point?

Hologram talking tarot cards because f**k cell phones man.

I have no idea who busty there is, but she's talking to that one blonde asshole who is clearly the antagonist behind this entire pile of poo. Oh and I guess she's coming to Japan for some reason but she also doesn't really care about what his plans are. So... why are they talking exactly?

Then she ends the Skype Tarot Call and we are... I dunno, somewhere else. Russia? Hell if I know. SOme dudes are talking and a book gets put on a pedestal, and scruff mcgruff gets to take a peek at an important Athos book.

And just anyone is allowed to look at it, apparently.

So Walter Chronkite there walks away and leaves the teacher to look at some shit and we finally get to see Tomo being yelled at to get some sleep since she has a vever. And is keeping a thermometer in her boobs.

Oh my god just stop talking already Sasha PLEASE.

Fun fact: Dude gets a job at school. Dude immediately takes a three-week vacation afterwards, turning said class into a study hall. IN WHAT SCHOOL DOES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN?! But hey the kids are cool with it I guess, and sit around talking all day while Mafuyu gets tripped and drops all of the study papers because that one bitch with the short hair decides tripping her is clearly the appropriate answer. All so Bubbletits can look down upon her and chastise her for the poor handling of said papers.

I want to kill every single character in this show. I want them all to die horrible, agonizing deaths. Hana knows that Sasha is a Qwasar, and she knows he lives with Mafuyu and that he is inconsistent at best, so why chance incurring his wrath yet again?

Also, it's great to see that the 'character development' that seemed to have happened between these two has basically been completely ignored. Who needs consistency with as many boobs as this show has to offer?

Yeah I'm not sure that works the way you seem to think
that it does...

The rest of the class just kind of looks on and goes "uhhhh" and then the class rep stands up for her saying she shouldn't be bullied. Then they bring up the 'toilet' nickname again and they threaten to treat her poor liy like they did back in junior high or something. But finally Sasha closes his book and the entire class shuts the hell up and he's like "bros, grow the f**k up already". So everyone pretends to do that and go their separate ways and uh... I guess someone has a crush.

OH GOD IT IS SMILING QUICK KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Now they're in the hallway and Mafuyu is helping her carry some stuff, and she's all "please tell Sasha I said thanks" and she's all "dude just tell him yourself and shit, he's not so scary" but of course she is too red-faced to say anything so Mafuyu caves and says that she'll tell him.

And then she starts fantasizing about how she always thought he was a prince ever since he arrived and how cool it was that he saved cats stuck in trees and used magic to do it and shit, all while pretending not to give two f**ks.

Just... just stop. You're not fooling anyone.

The cat licks his face and jumps on his head and he laughs and shit and of course the little class rep is all trying to figure things out or something. Also, she may have been stalking him. And keeping that little dagger he made out of iron that he threw up because I guess... she just thinks that anything he has touched is totally endearing.

... you know suddenly this show has gone full-on creepy stalker and I am no longer comfortable watching.

Anyways she's now outside dumping some stuff in the garbage bin, and our next big scene full of NOPE appears.

DOUBLE NOPE.

They ask her where they can find Aleksander. Who is probably in the classroom, but they'll have to wait because she really needs to pee. Not that they seem to care, she can just pee on them. They'll even remove her panties for her.

WAIT WHAT.

Now the lead in to the "punishment" routine and some crystals glow or something and guess who's shown up? It's Sasha and Theresa. Oh and the twins suddenly change their outfits.

-------------

I got nothing.

I. I just. I don't know how to handle this anymore at this point. What is even life? Their 'mother' asked them to go to Japan to get 'punished' by some Russian kid.

Yeah. I just don't even know anymore at this point what is even the real world. Oh then booby card girl is walking down the hallway or something and Sasha tells the little girl to run away, while the twins are all "hey don't leave, that would count as punishment". Which... I guess she is totally incapable of doing for some reason or other? I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Then the twins just start making out in front of everyone, and uh... I guess white liquid starts pouring out of their mouth or something?

Turns out that stuff is Quicksilver, and Sasha just narrowly manages to save the girl enough so she can run off, while also spearing one of the twins who almost practically creams herself in the process. Oh and Theresa tells everyone that this is "The Witch of the Quicksilver". Sure why not.

In addition to bleeding blood, they also bleed mercury I guess. Okay. Sure.

Can we please just be DONE with this show already?!

Mercury is literally coming out of every orifice here. ALL OF THEM. And the worst part? You just know that somewhere, some little shit is jacking off to this crap. That's literally the worst part of this entire thing. Why? Because the mercury looks an awful lot like... yeah.

Sasha has no idea what's going on and the other twin is all "hey touch me too" and he realizes he can't cut mercury. WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN'T YOU IDIOT WHY WOULD Y-

F**k. You.

They are just not even trying anymore. The bag of goodies comes out and they're all "please don't use big things we want you to tease us with all of this crap please".

I have been asking this for the last ten episodes and you
are JUST NOW REALIZING that shit is kind of f***ed up?!

There's some talk about being slaves to the congregation and needing to be punished or else there will be a disqualifcation and then that other f***ed up kid shows up. You know, the one with the copper mom.

Oh and she reveals that they're only the bait because the real danger is somewhere else. Whoops! Guess you should've been more careful oh well. Because there's someone else they should be worrying about instead. You know, the one with the actual power.

You know, this one.

Turns out their history teacher suddenly fell 'ill'. By which she means she got tied up in a bathroom and covered in mercury. So now afternoon classes will be taught by Eva Silver.

... she's really not very subtle is she?

Mafuyu is now front and center though, called in front of the class, and of course pinkie-pie gets offended and then slammed against the wall by an invisible force because mercury powers give you the power to... uh... something. I guess? Oh and now everyone is trapped in the classroom.

Also as Sasha runs through the halls he encounters what can only be described as "mercury barriers" which somehow have the mystical property to stop whatever goes through them and destroy it. Even though the barrier is just little balls. How does this work exactly? I think you're just literally making shit up now.

Yeah I don't get it either.

So they say something about an Atomis Elemental Circuit... whatever that is and cut to that copper girl preparing to torture the shit out of some kawaii-desu sugoi moe girls filled with Mercury. They take offense to her calling herself a Queen though, but she electrocutes them and then I guess that's all. Time for them to go now. Oh wait the girls are sparkling and are now alive again? They went to Heaven? Oh okay.

You know what disturbs me the most? The VA for this sounds exactly like Harime Nui, from Kill la Kill. Except here I just want to gouge my eyes out, as opposed to grin because Nui is a boss. Oh and also they are now almost totally naked now thanks to the burn marks, and she's all "wait Resurrector?" which makes no real sense considering we have no context, and then they attack her with mercury drills.

Guess it's all down to Sasha, who needs to kill that 'original'.

*insert wail of agony here*

According to the 'teacher', it is forbidden unless done by "a superior artist like myself".

Mafuyu grabs her wooden sword and the teacher starts working to embarass the class president by ripping her clothes off and then sucking on her tits I guess. Because, I dunno. They need to meet their quota I guess. But in comes Mafuyu for the saving from breast suckling, and the teacher decides instead of breaking her last to just screw all of that and break her first. I guess. Her words.

*sighs* Can she please die now?

She's all "I WILL FIGHT YOU" and the teacher takes her seriously I guess and the stalker chick pulls out that little dagger which... I guess she just keeps on her at all times for whatever creepy reason. Threats get made about pain and pleasure and the little girl runs forward and cuts the teacher who bleeds real blood and nothing else. I guess this is where she's supposed to seriously grow a spine and just as she's about to die, she's all "yeah I'm cool with this I'll dream about Sasha now" but of course he shows up to save the day and somehow not cut that chick's arm off when hitting it with a scythe. SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU ONLY SCRATCH HER WITH THAT THING!?

Mafuyu gets all pouty and shit that he's late, and he's all just like "meh hero time in front of the class" and pink wakes up too. He calls her a witch and is all "yeah so those twins were you?" and she's all "lols yeah, you mad bro?" Oh and then they pull out the "we are the same" and his face starts bleeding and more boring shit gets said. Then he glows red and declares that he will hunt her down.

Oh that's the end of the episode? Is this a thing we are doing now? Cutting every enemy encounter into two episodes?

... watching this show really makes me question how much I want to remain living in this world.

It really does. I'm going to watch videos of puppies doing cute things now to restore my faith in humanity. BBL.