Sailor Moon Episode 36 - Usagi is Confused! Is Tuxedo Mask Evil?

I have had a rather eventful day so far. Lots of wonderful things happening in the world, like E3, which I seem to be following much more closely this year than in previous ones. Might be because I'm between work and have nothing better to do. Might be because the console lineup is kind of exciting. Could even have something to do with the fact that I am interested in some of the games coming out in the next year or so.

But let's just be honest here: I wanted to see how badly Sony could slam Microsoft into the ground, and that shit was downright hilarious.

In fact, I've had such a great evening, I need to bring myself down from this high cloud of awesomilitude. If that isn't a word, then by damn it should be. Let's get to work.

This episode claims to be 'uncut'. What will this mean? Most likely that it was one of them that got modified in the English release, and I think it's safe to say that was a  fairly terrible localization, really. I personally dislike it when anime gets released stateside and gets judiciously cut up because the content of the show isn't up to the values of the people who purchased the rights to it.

Well, whatever. Today's episode seems to revolve around haircuts of all things. Haircuts.

Oh, and it looks like Tuxedo Mask is going to get into some physical abuse! How fun.

Interesting things to note: Straight into the opener, which goes to the episode overview... and no 'this is what you've missed so far'? Plus no title slide?! What is going on here, how will I ever know the title of this episode? We go straight into the episode, where Usagi is having bad dreams of chasing after her re-dead boyfriend in the flame-consumed palace.

Oh, and now we get our title slide? Boy they really are changing things up today aren't they?

It's a wonderful day at school today, unless your name is Usagi. Haircuts are awesome, and there's some world-famous hair stylist or something that opened a shop nearby or something. Of course, our heroine gives precisely two shits about anything.

After school at the shrine, Luna looks to the other girls for help, noticing that their fearless leader isn't sleeping, or when she does, she tosses and turns with nightmares, and is basically so hung up over it that she's letting herself get beat up by everything. Rei feels kind of like shit too, saying she knows how she must feel.

Yeah, you're not going to let this whole thing come between you two are you? Oh who am I kidding, you probably are. I mean, you're dating the guy and she isn't. That's gotta be awkward.

Who cares about how she feels though? Feelings mean nothing to the evil empire that is trying to actively destroy a thing that they kind of already destroyed once?

Speaking of feelings, Usagi's are clearly in question, as she's busy daydreaming about terrible things Mamoru said to her, including, and welcome to the worst segue ever - her hairstyle.

Of course, as she's pondering these things, Minako just shows up out of nowhere in her room, and invites Usagi to play around with her hairstyle. Yet, even with her new incredibly rich and famous friend doting over her, she can't help but keep thinking about this new hair salon.

Gold digger, I swear.

Anyhow, over in Castle Blackskull, Kunzite is basically looking at an unconcious Mamoru, only to be joined by Beryl.

If only someone knew who she was.... oh wait, there is!
He's dead now. Because you killed him.

Beryl is getting pushy with wanting that Silver Crystal, but Kunzite already has designs set in motion. He has... a strand of Sailor Moon's hair?!

Oh god. Are you... don't seriously tell me you expect to...

You and what portable crime lab?

Unless you are going to use magic to accomplish this goal, I get the feeling that this is a terrible freaking idea.

So the blonde duo head to the new salon, and Usagi starts getting pampered while Minako just kind of stands around looking pretty. Then one of the hair dryers goes whacky, and I have no freaking idea what is going on at this point.

WHAAAAAAT?!

So the hair dryer... analyzes a person's DNA...? Based upon... oh my god what.

Hang on, your brilliant plan hinges on one person in a city full of TENS OF MILLIONS walking into the ONE SHOP IN THE CITY to have their hair done.

You know what's also done? I am. Wait, no I'm not, it's only halfway done. Shit... I really wish I was done with this.

So Minako gets talked into getting a free hair-steamer treatment, and I get the feeling this is not going to end well at all. Guess who is a match for Sailor Moon? Not Sailor Moon it seems.

Clearly not since you are washing her hair.

I guess DNA is not as conclusive as one might have hoped.

After the break, Usagi gets left to have her hair drowned while the stylist assaults her friend. Also, the attendants start spraying hairspray into the air...? Of course that'll make everyone pass out, except the two girls.

Oh, but the misunderstanding from all of this stems from the fact that she was just brushing her friend's hair not an hour ago before this event. Great. Now you have a crazy lady with a pair of scissors threatening you for a crystal you don't have. What do?

At this point, we get our monster of the day, and oh my god this is just plain hideous.

I'm not sure what's most terrifying about this design.
It's probably that hair though. That's just tragic.

Quick, Usagi, transform and save us from this terrible fashion faux pas!

Your hair? Yes, yes it is impossible. Look at those rollers!

Today's injustice revolves around taking advantage of schoolgirls and their allowances. The monster equips a hair dryer, and begins to assault her with the fiery passion of an insane hair stylist, shooting scissors from a machine-gun-dryer thing.

This whole monster design is pretty tragic. Just as Usagi is about to heal the monster, Tuxedo Mask steps in, stopping her with a rose! Complete with awesome musical interlude. The rose turns black, however, foreshadowing evilness.

Um, yes you are. Just evil-er. Wait, are you still trying
to be the good guy by telling the truth as a villain?

Wrapping my mind around this proves to be a difficult prospect at best. Why would you say something like "I'm not the dude you think I am" when you totally are?

He is now the "commander of the Dark Kingdom, Endymion."

Who is TOTALLY THE GUY SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT. YOU ARE ALL THE SAME PERSON. Though, he demands the Silver Crystal, and prepares to beat her with his cane while the monster tries to get her arm started back up.

Wait, is her arm seriously gas-powered or something? How friggin' cheap are these evil kingdom guys anyways? Can't things just be powered by magic or something?? Apparently not when your weapon of choice seems to be a giant hair shear.

So Sailor Moon does the only reasonable thing she can: Run away. Minako manages to finally transform, giving us the first look at her solo transformation. It's full of stars.

Then everyone goes on a rampage through the Tokyo streets, and poor Sailor Moon can't fight. Good thing she's got a team to finally back her up, and they do their best to just end it by straight-up attacking all at once to give their leader some breathing room. Super healing stick activates, with tiny little crystals and a new little musical ditty. Mars gets all teary-eyed, but Tuxedo Mask is evil now.

He's so very evil, it hurts. Seriously, he's all "roses have thorns and turn back in the winter." JUST LIKE YOUR HEART RIGHT?

Though, before he can fight them alone, he gets recalled by the giant brain, and sort of walks off, but not before talking about the fragility of flowers, and giving them a warning to be careful.

I'm confused. Aren't you supposed to be just straight up wrecking their shit?

Metalia doesn't want Endymion to die, and Beryl is pleased with the brainwashing, and now the hair salon is back to normal. It's for the sake of innocent people that Usagi finds the will to fight, but mostly because her love who has basically been a total creeper and terrible man-figure happens to be alive.

Even if he's trying to kill you currently.

That's what every abused woman says.

I don't think I need to say anything more on this.