Sailor Moon Episode 41 - I Won't Run From Love Anymore! Ami and Mamoru's Showdown

You know, I'm kind of excited. Slowly but surely, I am coming to the end of this thing, and it feels good. Like, seriously good. Completing things is fun, even if those things appear to be an incredibly arduous task that may or may not actually cause physical discomfort while doing them. It's all a matter of finding a way to enjoy things that can best be described as 'an utterly terrible experience'.

Maybe I've grown a thicker skin, and become somewhat inundated to the sheer badness of this show. I mean, it's kind of tapered off I think, so maybe we can just coast to the end and be done with it. That'd be nice.

Is it weird that when I see the opening, and it starts with that bell toll thing, it makes me think of Metallica? Maybe I'm just weird like that. Well, in today's episode, it's the revival of all seven monsters. Even though at last count we only wound up seeing like, six of them I think? Also, Endymion is a jerk. So there we have it.

No title slide, but I'm sure that'll show up later. They're mixing things up again, trying to mess with the rhythm (of the night). Not sure if this is a good thing or bad... Anyhow, we begin... IN AFRICA.

And as you look to your left, you'll see a wild Tito,
singing loudly to attract his prey.

Two paragraphs in and I've already made three music jokes. I am on a roll or something tonight. Wait a second, we actually are in Africa, because holy shit, look at this lady who I can actually remember from a previous episode:

No worries, just ignore the thing you are studying
crumbling apart above you.

Turns out, Endymion took a trip to Africa just for her. How nice, I hope he got Frequent Flyer Miles. He whips out his crystal and sucks her into the gem, which also seems to have the souls of all but three others. Then we get out title slide. Also: HOLY SHIT THAT IS A LONG FREAKING TITLE.

Back in Tokyo, it is definitely not sweltering as balls hot outside. With the snow outside, Ami gets a phone call from the worst psychic ever, telling her to turn on the television. Who should be on the missing persons list but our artist friend from a few episodes back? Well, glad the psychic is paying attention to social media at least, because our heroes sure don't seem to be. The artist is the fifth one missing, and guess who's next?

Shouldn't you have seen this coming earlier?

It's that guy. At least things are moving at a real breakneck pace, so I can get behind that. Of course, this should leave only him and the old man at the shrine, so odds are this should get pretty exciting in a hurry. After hanging up, he laments not asking Ami for help, despite asking her to stop the ambitions of the Dark Kingdom.

Are you just completely stupid kid? Asking for help is precisely the thing you should be doing. I mean, by not helping them keep you safe, you're actively making it harder for them to do that thing you asked them to do. Not only are you the worst psychic ever, you're also a complete asshat to boot.

Oddly enough, Makoto sees the kid walking past, but before she can do anything, Luna calls up asking her to hurry over to the shrine due to an 'incident'. Oh boy, what did I just tell you about excitement?

Over at Beryl's Carnival of Chaos, however, Kunzite is asking stupid questions of his master.

Yeah, and they've defeated you like, six times now?

He does bring up a good point though - after being purified they're practically useless, right? Seemingly not, since according to Beryl, once they have been brought together they combine to create the evil Megazord that will totally be the end of those pesky Power Sailors. This scene is complete with some fairly intense screaming of the girls, and a giant claw seeming to rip giant shreds of paper right in front of the girls, completely obscuring our view.

Terrifying.

Oh but his real issue is the fact that Endymion is the one doing all the important work. Because y'know, that's totally the kind of thing you delegate to someone who has repeatedly shown to be incapable of defeating your enemies, right? Of course not. You give it instead to the guy with the impeccable track record.

Okay, sure, fine, he's 'helped' the girls even though he's a bad guy. But you know what else he hasn't managed to do? Completely have his ass handed to him. By default, that makes him the most competent man in the room.

So back at the shrine, everyone is sitting aroudn talking about the psychic's phone call, and Artemis is all "giant monsters!" So now everyone is up to speed, but Makoto is sure the boy is around, and drags Ami outside while... wait, what?!

GROW UP YOU TWO!

Oh god, not TEN SECONDS ago they were shoveling the yard, and now they're having a snowball fight. You can't count on those guys for anything I swear.

Anyhow, the other girls get left behind to protect the old man, because most likely he's going to be the next target, and we don't want any giant monsters running around Tokyo now do we? I didn't think so.

Then Usagi starts crying because of some stupid comic she's reading, and I have zero hope for anyone preventing anything bad from happening.

Look at me. Power Coat. Power Shades. POWER UP.

Elsewhere, that one douche is off flexing his muscles at a street corner for no reason at all. Also shaking his head oddly. But lo and behold he's found his target walking the streets, and they have a nice little conversation about how seeing the future prepares you for everything that's about to happen.

Shouldn't you say that before the man grabs you??

Ryo's plan is to scream that he is a murderer in public. Oh Japan.

Clearly that is the face of an honest man.

During the confusion, the boy slips away, and Mamoru takes after him after plowing through the crowd. Elsewhere, Ami and Mako are still walking around, and they talk about how he's not even really Ami's boyfriend and responsibilities and being unable to reciprocate love and so on and so forth. Honestly, I can't really say anything against that though, because as Makoto puts it, "even champions of justice deserve to love".

Though really, let's be honest with ourselves here. Ami is completely making up bullshit excuses. Even before she was a Sailor Scout, she was all putting work before everything else. Going to study groups, cram schools, if it wasn't educational in the least she put zero effort into it. So even if she had remained a normal girl, she'd still think that he was getting in the way of what she thinks she should be doing.

Yeah, that's right. This isn't about him at all, it's all about her. Ami is very much an all-duty girl. She has to do what is expected, and has to be the best because that is what everyone is supposed to see in her. It's a vicious cycle, but this show has never really tried to delve into that whatsoever. Mostly because it was too busy not taking itself seriously? So it's hard for me to take this 'serious' scene, well, seriously, because it is completely ignoring the real issues at hand here: That Ami has no idea what it means to actually kick back and enjoy herself, because she's always going to put herself 150% into whatever she's working on.

Which means that any relationship she might take part in is doomed to fail because she doesn't want to work at it. Like I said, vicious cycle.

You've still managed to narrowly miss the real
issue here. Oh well.

Of all the things Makoto says, the one that actually seems true is that Ami can't be honest about her own feelings. Well yes, clearly she can't! Love isn't the real problem here, it's the fact that she has no idea what it means to be a well-adjusted human being. Have you seen Ami with any friends other than Usagi and the others? Because I sure haven't. I'm fairly sure that, aside from her 'coworkers', this girl doesn't have any friends at all. Acquaintances, sure, but those aren't really the same as 'friends'.

Any sort of serious talk is cut short though as Ami sees the boy running away, and gets after him quickly enough. Then he goes down an endless alleyway, until he runs into the Sailor Scouts - whom he can tell the true identities of because, well, he's psychic. Or as I like to say, because he's the only one who isn't fooled by a wardrobe change.

At that point, Endymion shows up, and is confused why everyone keeps calling him by some other name.

There's probably a reason for that y'know.

Then they get ready to fight and we have a commercial break. Yay.

DRAMATIC SHOT COMPLETE WITH SOUND EFFECT.

As if they didn't already signify shit was about to go down? They start doing DADUM sound effects with each the next couple of cuts. Just in case you missed something that is. Like, this entire episode so far. Endymion literally just stands there with an incredibly threatening outstretched hand in front of him, while the girls come up with a plan of action to have Ami run away with the boy. Because he's just that damned polite I guess.

No, I'm sure he actually is that damned polite if you think about it. I mean, he's only helped them win the last few episodes despite being a bad guy, so in his case it is most likely just real courtesy.

So he gives her a "think you can handle me by yourself?" and she responds by attempting to render him thunderstruck. Yeah okay, maybe that joke was a bit of a stretch, whatever. Her attack just blows right past him though, and in the meantime, Ami contacts the others. By which I mean to say, Luna, Artemis, and Minako because Rei and Usagi are too busy fighting over something that looks like a plate? Ugh, who cares.

That was the most satisfying scream I have heard
in this entire show EVER.
EVER.

Overhearing the conversation, Rei decides to take interest, and the girls are all "we better get moving I guess so we can heal him". So they do. Back in the alley, Endymion decides to wear down Jupiter before he politely begins to act offensively.

Careful, those fingers look sharp.

He's not attempting to punch her, nor is he trying to slap her. He is trying to do something that is best described as a combination of the two. He is trying to punch her with a slap.

There's a reason people don't do that sort of thing? It's because you make it really easy to break your fingers. Y'know. In case you were stupid or something. Eventually Jupiter trips over something, and gets backed against the wall. Jupiter loses.

Psyche! Made ya flinch. Outies!

But instead of, y'know, actually hitting her? He just kinda laughs and walks away, like a complete and utter dick. Let's add this to our list of reasons why this guy is such a sexist asshole - he's not even taking this fight seriously. Can't hit a girl? Please. You're just an elitist prick.

Oh for... seriously?!

With that he walks off, and the not-couple are still running through the streets, below a sign advertising Sailor Moon.

Bootlegs in the official? They couldn't even use
the right fonts for the advertising!

Ryo suggest that if they're going to run, they should go run into the amusement park. Because nothing says it's the best time for a date than when you are running for your life, am I right? Elsewhere, Usagi can't stop complaining about how the cold is going to ruin her skin and slipping on the sidewalk and crying about it. I mean, you have important things to do here, crying like an actual baby about every little thing? Not helping.

No shit ya think?

Then Jupiter shows up and reveals that Endymion has vanished. Over in the empty amusement park, the couple quietly walks around, and have what is quite possibly one of the worst conversations they could possibly have, next to choking babies, kicking puppies or drowning kittens.

This is really not a good time for this man...

Then he tries to follow that up by suggesting they part ways, because he has found the resolve to 'take them down with me'. Dude, your powers don't appear to be all that effective, I seriously doubt you're going to be able to do any lasting sort of harm, given how things have been turning out for you so far.

Oh, then he starts crying about how he was never human to begin with. If only his pathetic life could be worth something in death, that'd be grand.

Okay whoa, what? Seriously? Did we just get grimdark?

Of course, she avoids going totally dark by saying "we both avoid things". Like that last sentence, right? Then she tells him about how her friend told her to be more honest, and that it's cool to sacrifice yourself, but it's cooler to totally follow your heart.

... y'know, when I put it that way, it somehow comes out sounding better than the way she actually said it?

Note to self: Use that line if you ever plan to make a Magical Girl show. Because that is just gold.

So she asks him to just face this thing head on with her, and then the lights go on and Endymion enters the stage from up on the ferris wheel they're in front of.

There are so many things wrong with this shot
that it makes me want to cry.

I think I get it now. This whole show? It's like a goddamned stage play. All of the scenes are built kind of like stage props, and that's why things don't make sense. Clearly, this show was made by geniuses who were ahead of their time, and not by people who are just flat-out at making scenes which follow any logical sort of sense. That's the only explanation I have for this scene, for why people show up in totally unrelated places standing precariously perched on things. Because that is the kind of thing you'd expect to see in a stage play, where the lights suddenly pop on and you're all, "holy crap, look at that guy!"

Then a cat and two girls see the park is on as they run past and head inside, while Endymion spills his plan to Mercury. Clearly, he is actually trying to utilize a cunning plan, because the lights are part of his plan to lure the other scouts in. Which explains why he let Jupiter go, I suppose, even if it is a flimsy excuse for not even bothering to hurt her in the least. I mean, beating someone up? That's pretty friggin' effective. But not even making the effort to harm them? That's just downright spiteful.

Of course, Mercury is forcing his hand a bit, so supposedly he is going to take her seriously? Not so much. Even a watery mist can't stop him from jumping around and snatching the kid up into the crystal, and sending Mercury into a fit of rage.

So the genius is just as confused as the rest of us.
That's a relief.

He offers a challenge to her: Break the crystal if she wants her boyfriend back. Then he turns into Tuxedo Mask, and loses the sword (which he hasn't used once), and says that he will fight her 'in earnest' out of 'respect'.

Y'know, he actually makes this whole 'killing you with kindness' thing work. No sarcasm there. He is a really effective villain so far, because he is a complete and utter dickbag. A whole bag of dicks. A big ol' sack of 'em. He is taunting them, and has the power to back that shit up, and now he says the kid gloves are off.

Why is it that he seems way more menacing than any of the other villains have at this point? Or that his cocky, smug attitude makes me hate him even more, which is exactly the kind of thing you want in a villain? Oh, right, because I'm pretty sure he might actually win. That would be cool.

Mercury knows she's outclassed, so she busts out her most brilliant moves.

... she runs past him with one of the most horribly-animated run sequences I've ever seen, then turns around, and hits him with a Bubble Spray.

... that just seriously happened.

You just took the words out of my mouth.

He then proceeds to, well, spin his cane around, deflecting bubbles. Because that's just how awesome he is, right? Oh but that was all part of her plan, as she snatches the crystal from his grasp and smashes it on the ground.

Oh god DAMN it. Just when you thought the bad guys might be doing something RIGHT, you have to lose to someone who doesn't even have a proper damned attack. So now all the captives are free and unconscious, and Moon and Jupiter have arrived on the scene. What next? They talk about how Ami looks better because of the advice she took from Jupiter. Oh, and there's a guy in a tuxedo wearing a mask who probably needs restored?

Not that he's going to let that get in the way, he's just going to deal with them all at once.

... what.

These one-liners are just really getting terrible at this point. Recycling monsters, blah blah blah. Then there's a lightning strike and some more bubbles, and Endymion Mask demonstrates none of that athletic grace he is so famous for.

Way to run head on into their attack. Brilliant plan.

Then we finally get a Moon Healing Escalation on him. Now, he's getting all sorts of strange thoughts in his head. Oh, but just in case it wasn't being dramatic enough?

ASDFJKL: IT HAS POWER LEVELS?!?!?! SINCE WHEN!!!

Increase the energy.

Oh, hey, I'm not sure I want to use all my healing on you. Let me just turn that back a notch. Because we don't want you getting all back to normal too quickly, right? Oh my GOD that makes me angry. But then he Refreshes and falls to the ground as someone who is maybe Mamoru, but then snatched up by a dark egg and teleported away.

So congrats, that was completely freaking pointless.

Now Beryl decides that she's going to have to redo all of that hard work all over again. Because if it doesn't work the first time, just try it again and see if it takes?

The next day it seems the park is open, and Ami and Ryo are on the Ferris Wheel. Y'know, the one they got attacked in front of, because that's completely romantic. Also, let's ignore the fact that there was six inches of freaking snow all over the place just yesterday. It's totally okay to go out in skirts now.

Like you all forgot about your pants?

Usagi is all bent out of shape because Ami can't be the leader if she's focusing on her boyfriend. A capacity that Minako quickly points out is Usagi's job? Then Rei points out that she must be jealous, and everyone is supposed to have a grand ol' laugh, because the person in charge is totally being hypocritical.

Suddenly, I'm really, really glad this show is almost over. Because I'm really not sure how much more I could take of this.

Of course, looking at the total episode count, I realize I am only 20% done with this show.

Well shit.