Strike Witches Episode 10 - Trust and Friendship

So you may have noticed I didn't get around to posting. Honestly, I was just feeling really ill. I even went to bed early and everything because that's how bad I was feeling. I blame the cold weather.

But I did promise that I'd try and make up. So you know what I'm adding? A Pantsu counter. Yes, and actual, honest to god pantsu counter. Every time a shot comes up, I'll add it to the tally. By the end of the episode, we'll see just how many pantsu we can get up to, and god help me if I get a pantsu x3 combo or something because my head will explode from the sheer amount of f**kitosity it will incur.

Yes. F**kitosity. That's a goddamn thing now.

So today's episode recaps Mio saying she's gonna fly no matter what. Then Yoshi is flying with the doppleganger, and Mio gets shot down. So sad. Dramatic horn music, Perrine crying, and Yoshi totally not feeling up the dying Major's chest while crying out her name. Here comes the OP!

Time to start the OP counter. Because I'm doing this for f***ing posterity damnit.

Total count in the OP: Seven. Five of which occurred within a FIVE SECOND PERIOD.

Yeah, some of them might have only shown up for literally two frames, but the fact of the matter is THEY STILL EXISTED.

So in case you were curious. What constitutes a Pantsu shot, you might ask? Contrary to popular belief, it is not every single time a Pantsu appears. After all, if that were the case we would literally be into the f***ing HUNDREDS here, given that 98% of this show has some sort of shot where there is a character in it.

No, a Pantsu shot is a gratuitous shot where the panties make up more than 25% of the shot, or where the eye is clearly designed to gravitate towards the Pantsu area. This includes front and back, mind you.

So when the episode begins again, IT IS MEDICAL DRAMA TIME. With the smallest possible f***ing establishing shot ever.

Not the ideal way to start your episode focusing on
SOMEONE DYING.

So Mio's on a gurney, Perrine is yelling at Yoshi, and we begin today's Pantsu counter as the camera just casually pans across Mio's body, barely bothering to show her face, and in fact barely even bothering to show the injured area period. Which is really just a ketchup blob on her overcoat, like all good anime wounds. Then Yoshi almost falls over because who'd have thought, using magic is tiring. So is repeating somebody's name FIFTY BILLION TIMES.

Then Minna comes in and some actual medics arrive to take the Major away. Oh, and then Yoshi pretty much passes out, and we get our title slide to some dramatically lonely music. So sad.

Speaking of sad, Yoshi is in bed and there's a picture of her dad watching over her. As well as her bestest rommate buddy in the whole world. When Yoshi wakes up, she immediately starts freaking out. What happened to the Major? Is she okay? Am I shaking you too hard, bestest buddy of mine?

Then Minna and Perrine are outside when the operating room is done operating, only to tell them it is too soon to make any predictions based on her longevity. Gasp and zounds.

Then she's in a hospital bed and Yoshi and Lynne show up, and Perrine immediately runs out and slaps the ever living shit out of Yoshi. Yes, because clearly the most reasonable course of action is to attack the one person who tried their best to save the life of the person you covet. That's totally understandable. I do that all the time.

That expression is so unintentionally hilarious.

Oh, so what's Perrine's big deal? That she's totally been sleeping on the job this entire time. Yep. That's her deal all right. Way to be a team player. Then Yoshi wanders over and gets back to the whole healing magic thing, to shut that bitch up.

Meanwhile, everyone else is preparing for a tasty meal of... SPEM.

I'll have the SPEM SPEM SPEM Eggs SPEM bacon and
SPEM please. That hasn't got much SPEM in it at all.

So Eila does her fortune telling thing, and peers into Yoshi's future. It is predictably bright and sunny.

I prefer the original myself.

Then Minna starts going over all the list of charges, and odds are Yoshi is pretty screwed. But she won't be making any decisions until after Mio wakes up, because that's just the kind of girl she is.

Oh, and then Mio's pulse drops despite all the magics, and Yoshi starts crying while Perrine starts freaking the f**k out. Oh, but only Yoshi can do this, so I guess she's got to pull all the anime heroine bullshit stops out and totes focus this time. Then makes enough light to make a Green Lantern take notice.

Next scene is a doctor just standing there for all of ten frames in the background, lasting long enough to say "She'll be fine. Thanks to that girl's magic" AND WALKING AWAY. Bro wasn't even fully in the room, he was just kind of standing there like the nameless NPC he was meant to be so that he could exit as soon as his line was delivered.

And now Mio is awake and looking up at Minna, who not even two episodes ago was ready to shoot her anyways. So talk about mixed messages here folks. HA HA LOOKS LIKE I FAILED TO DIE, AGAIN?

DAMN, YOU TOTALLY FOILED MY PREDICTIONS
AGAIN. NEXT TIME, GADGET. NEXT TIIIIIIME!

She has only one question: "Lemme guess, you're gonna fly, right?"

WELL NO SHIT SHE'S GONNA FLY.

Then morning arrives and there's sunshine and birds chirping and Yoshi finds out that Mio is awake and Lynne and Perrine are sleeping. Let's just IGNORE THE FACT YOU ARE IN A F***ING HOSPITAL.

So Mio thanks her for saving her life, and asks why she didn't shoot the Neuroi which damn near killed her, and we get our second pantsu of the day. A slow start, but then again they're shooting for SUPER MEDICAL DRAMA. Except I guess they never watched a single episode of M*A*S*H*. That probably would have helped a little bit.

Then Mio explains that the human form was a trap, but Yoshi felt something, honest. But it was totes a trap! They're the enemy! And then she gets chased out and we're forced to look at her goddamn crotch again.

Now it's time for Minna to dole out some punishments, but first she's going to ask if she wants a court-martial. She doesn't answer, so Minna's all "welp, guess not. Ten days confinement to your room, any objections?" and Yoshi is all "But the Neuroi!"

First of all, that's not even an answer, second of all, you're not answering the goddamned question, and third of all WHY DON'T YOU ACTUALLY TRY USING WORDS FOR ONCE YOU DUMB BITCH. But she has no objections, and is allowed to leave. Then bestest buddy Lynne is there to deliver the good news that she already knows, and drags her pal off to the bath!

That does not scream "confined to your quarters" to me. In fact, that sounds an awful lot like TOTALLY IGNORING ORDERS AGAIN. Not that anyone here actually gives a shit about orders, their commander included.

Is it technically pantsu if they are not wearing any pantsu? The answer is yes, yes it is. I'm adding a new counter as well: Gratuitous Boob Shots. Because frankly, this is a bath scene with almost EVERY OTHER CHARACTER naked in the shower, so it's gonna happen.

It takes all of three seconds before Yoshi finds her face nuzzling up against Shirley's massive mams. Like, the first thing she does is wrap her arm around Yoshi and go HERE HAVE SOME BOOBS WHILE I LAUGH AT YOU BEING CONFINED TO YOUR ROOM BUT NOT FOLLOWING THAT ANYWAY.

Not like this is a big deal, since it happens to literally everyone. Some of them take it as a matter of pride, really.

Again, this is the worst military team ever. What good are rules if nobody gives a literal flying f**k?

So Yoshi is going to take this chance to say "HEY GUYS, I THINK THIS NEUROI IS PRETTY GOOD, MAYBE WE DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT AFTER ALL" and everyone else just kind of looks at her like she's crazy.

Which she kinda is. Because they've only been BOMBING THE PLANET I MEAN HEY NO BIGGIE, HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT ALL THE DAMN TIME.

This of course leads to a big argument. Not that anyone knows what the hell a Neuroi actually is, but there's the "maybe we can talk this out" versus "THEY HAVE DESTROYED ENTIRE COUNTRIES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU". Personally, I'm on the latter's side because this is just f***ing idiotic. Then there's brief talk about this sort of thing happening before, and then Lucchini is all "Yo, cheer up bitch" and grabs Yoshi's ass, because why not. Oh, and then moves on to FONDLE HER BREASTS NOT SO TENDERLY. Right in front of Lynne. And I swear to you, I promise on all that is holy, I am not making this up. This is the actual thing that happens.

But you know what happens next? EVERYONE ELSE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOSHI'S TITS HAVE GROWN.

Be prepared to spend the next two minutes being subjected to close ups of boobs and otherwise naked parts of young girls, because that's exactly what proceeds to happen next. And the counters just keep on ticking up like crazy.

Oh god. Oh sweet merciful christ. It's going to take me forever to tally up all these points.

FOREVER.

Thankfully, the commercial break pops up before I have to be subjected to the quickly escalating boob-fondling emporium grows any larger.

After the break, it is raining. And Minna finally decides to LOCK YOSHI UP. While she ponders why nobody will listen to poor little her. How sad. Then she falls asleep and dreams of the whole thing and asks herself what she's supposed to do, and resolves to go and see for herself what all of this is about.

Elsewhere, Mio is listening to Perrine prattle on and on about how Yoshi is a horrible person despite the judgment of the person she cares deeply for. Then Mio pats her on the head because... man I don't even know anymore. I just don't.

Who's a good little doggy? Yes you are, Perrine.
Even though you're a cat.

So Mio's all "hey thanks for watching me like a creepy stalker this whole time I was unconscious". Oh, and then Lynne catches Yoshi trying to sneak out and is all "yo, if you go out while you're confined you are totally gonna get it". Pffftahahahahahaaha yeah right.

They did kind of show up and destroy an entire country.
That's gotta count for something Yoshi.

She goes on to say Yoshi is such an awesome person for being honest and shit, and that's why she's gonna totes come with her bestie, because they are totally lovers or something. But no! Yoshi can't let that happen! She's got to do this. ALONE. Because that's the totally hardboiled thing for her to do. She's gotta do the lone wolf thing. Because hey, that worked out so well last time.

So Lynne gives her a hug and says goodbye, and then Yoshi goes out without her gun.

Seconds later, Minna is busy practicing her best Pheonix Wright impression by slamming on a table, and declaring that Yoshi has escaped. She's also informing the rest of the team, and gets a phone call. They need to find her before HQ gets wind of... oh, what's that? Hello Headquarters. You want us to shoot down Yoshi? Oh, okay then. Cool.

Finally, some ACTUAL PROGRESS. May she die in a wonderful explosion and end this entire series for good. (Spoilers: That's definitely not gonna be the thing that happens.)

Then Yoshi is out in the clouds and is all "WOW IT IS SO PRETTY DURING DAWN". Oh, and Perrine is ordered to watch after Mio, and Lynne is confined in Yoshi's place. Also there's dramatically awesome music that is completely inappropriate, and Mio is all congratulating Yoshi for being an insubordinate little twat.

Yoshi finally gets to that place where she found that thing from before, and it finds her, without her weapon. So they just kinda start flying around because, hey, why not. Ignore the giant black vortex thing you're heading towards, it's totally nothing dangerous.

By the way, everyone else shows up and they know exactly what that thing is.

It's called Two Girls, One Cup. THE HORRORS.

So that thing is a Neuroi Hive, and they've lost a lot of allies trying to destroy it before. Guess who's flying right into the heart of it? Yeah, that'd be Yoshi.

Nobody's ever managed to get in before, but the group decides to hang back to see what happens. Just because. Oh, and Yoshi finds herself in the most boring room imaginable, which suddenly transforms to show her below a map of the world. Also, a giant core thing. So she goes up to that and tadaaa, there's the Earth! Also lots of things attacking the alien thingies, which go on to, y'know, rape the planet. Also, Mio being a little badass and destroying shit, and then her daddy finding a Neuroi fragment.

She's trying to make sense of this whole thing, and she reaches out to the Neuroi, and just as they touch, SOMETHING QUICKLY APPROACHES. So it kinda teleports out to meet the other girls. It's ignoring them though, instead paying attention to the thing moving at supersonic speeds and attacking her like a boss.

So they proceed to the high speed battle part where the girls are all "what the hell is going on" and it's shooping da woop like some kind of final SHMUP boss, and they stop long enough to take a gander at this thing, which is chargin' its lazor.

Isnt' it just the cutest?

It then releases a Neuroi-like beam that destroys it, and the core of the Hive, and almost Yoshi, but not quite. Now they're all freaking out and wondering what's going on, and Lucchini and Shirley go heading off after Yoshi who is now plummeting to the surface again. The others just sorta watch on as this drone thing flies off suddenly, leaving them wondering why they're even needed in this show anymore.

I hate this show. I really, REALLY hate this show.

Not even being subtle at this point.

Moments later, the lights come on and Mio swears she was not getting a blowjob from Perrine, despite the evidence clearly displayed before god and the entire world.

Then Yoshi is detained, and brought back to base, despite their clear orders that she was to be shot down. But there's people waiting for them back at the base, and they get to meet their new playmate/replacement. At gunpoint. TO BE CONTINUED.

Now, I normally would never watch the ED. But tonight, I am making the exception. Why? BECAUSE OF THE GOD DAMNED PANTSU COUNTER THAT'S WHY. So let's just get this over with because it's only just another 90 seconds of my f***ing life wasted.

Surprisingly, there's only a handful here, but let's just get all the counts tallied.

Pantsu during the OP: 7
Pantsu during this episode: 20
Gratuitous Naked Pairs of Boobs: 30
Pantsu during the ED: 4

And there you have it. Literally only one more pantsu shot than a shot of someone's naked breasts. And almost every single one of those boob shots was at least a x2 or x5 combo, with one or two notable exceptions.

YOU'RE F***ING WELCOME INTERNET. NOW GO BE PERVERTED ELSEWHERE.